Your body, mind and soul have been crushed by this person who doesn’t even respect you enough to never show his face in your life again. He’s probably still popping up somewhere around you just to make it harder for you. That’s exactly what a toxic person would do. Toxic relationships are the worst. At one point you even started thinking about what made you fall for him in the first place and why you didn’t leave earlier. But believe me, those are both questions to which you need to find the answers, because facing the facts and admitting your problems is the first step toward healing.
But let’s be honest for a moment—healing tends to be extremely hard for all of us. We cry, it hurts, we want to go back but we know we shouldn’t and we feel so many other things that aren’t so easy to handle. Especially not in such a fragile state of mind. You’re not the only one going through this. We’re all guilty of making all of these mistakes while healing from our toxic relationship.
In order to make it a little bit easier for you and to remind myself of the mistakes I have made before (so I won’t repeat them), here are all the mistakes we make while healing from a toxic relationship:
1. We go through all the memories in our head
Yes, I know that your head is full of memories that want to take the spotlight again but that’s the worst thing you can do. Especially if you have been doing so well in your healing process and then the memories just popped up in your head and you burst into tears without any warning. I am well aware of the fact that you can’t change your past nor can you erase your memories but what you CAN do is actually stop yourself from going through that horror again. By thinking about all those experiences, you’re emotionally reliving them and opening up those wounds again. So stop yourself. Have a technique that you will use to simply not allow your memories to get the best of you. For me, that is to put on a song that has nothing to do with my past and just hop around the apartment until I feel better again.
2. We want to rush it
I have done this too many times. I always tried to rush my healing process because I read online about all these methods that could help. But Rome wasn’t built in a day and we can’t heal that quickly either. Give yourself all the time you need. Believe me, life isn’t going to be mad at you just because you had to take a nap due to you having such a bad anxiety attack that it took away all your energy. Just give yourself all the time that’s needed to heal properly.
3. We think that someone else is in charge of our emotions
‘A heart is a heavy burden’. It’s a quote from one of my favorite movies. A heart is a very heavy burden, especially if it’s broken, so we tend to search for help in other people and that is a mistake. It’s OK to find a support group who can help you, listen to you, be there for you. But it’s not OK if you’re expecting them to give up their own lives to make you feel better. Our healing is our responsibility. All the answers to all your problems are hidden somewhere inside you. You shouldn’t be asking other people to constantly solve your problems.
4. We go back
Unfortunately, there are many women out there who just can’t stand the fact that it ended the way it did, so they go back. Yes, me included. The thing is that toxic people don’t give up that easily, so they might want to find their way back into your life again but don’t you ever think about going back into their arms just because your healing process is hard right now. Stay strong! You have come a long way and to throw everything to the side just because they have come back to you isn’t smart at all.
5. We think that we will never love again
This is what brings us all down the most—the thought of never falling in love again. You have been through so much pain and suffering, you have spent so many nights crying, it seems like an eternity has passed since you have been happily in love. But don’t lose faith, you will love again! Your heart will heal and your body will be ready to receive someone else’s hug. Until then, you have to stay strong! One day, when all of this is over, you will love more than you have ever loved before.