Self-doubt. Brain fog. Feeling like you’re losing your mind. Second-guessing your memory. Feeling as if you’re not good enough.
These are only some of the things a narcissist will make you feel.
Nothing you say or do is good enough and it’s like you’re drowning. Every single day you’re on the verge of having a nervous breakdown.
He uses many tools to push you deeper down in the abyss of low self-esteem where you stop believing you’re worthy of love.
One of his strongest tools is his hurtful words, and these are some of his favorite sayings he uses to emotionally abuse you.
1. “You didn’t let me finish what I was saying.”
When you try to oppose whatever he’s saying, he immediately interrupts you, never even allowing you to make your point.
It’s his words, opinions, and arguments that matter. Not yours.
His goal is to inflict as much emotional pain as he can, and if you’re the one talking, he can’t do that.
2. “You’re mad just because I didn’t do what you wanted when you wanted it.”
If you try to make him realize you too have rights and boundaries, he won’t accept it. What he’ll do is make you feel guilty for trying to have things go your way for once.
He wants to make you so emotionally fragile and ruin your self-esteem so much that you no longer think you have a right to want or demand anything.
3. “I’m sorry. What more do you want me to do?”
He’s clearly not sorry for whatever it is he’s referring to. He’s giving you some fake idea that he’s taking responsibility for his actions, while you can definitely see he regrets nothing.
He states that there’s nothing more he can do but give you those two pathetic words, because he wants you to know he isn’t planning on making you feel better or making things right.
4. “You made me cheat.”
Projecting blame. A narcissist’s favorite tool of drowning you in pain and making you his victim.
If you’re dating a narcissist, you’re used to him doing this all the time, but it may come as a surprise that he’d still do it even when he does something as despicable as cheating. Unbelievable, but true.
He will twist absolutely any situation to make you look bad.
5. “You’re the only person in this world who thinks like that.”
He will use whatever they can to back up his lies and manipulate you further. When there’s no one around for him to use to be on his side, he will lie or imagine situations.
He wants to make you feel like everybody else agrees with him, while you’re the only person on the other side of the ring. He’s fighting dirty, using whatever it takes to demean you and your opinions.
6. “Why can’t you just forget the past?”
He makes a point that you’re the one dwelling on the past, memorizing everything bad he’s ever done and using it against him.
The most outrageous part about all this is that he still doesn’t change his behavior. Even this is something he blames you for: not being able to forgive and forget all his mistakes.
He speaks to your sensitivity too, hoping you might feel sorry for him, even though he doesn’t deserve your empathy.
7. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
This is his way of discrediting the facts. Even if you already agreed on something after talking for quite some time about it, he still pretends he doesn’t know what you’re talking about.
He’s an expert at using passive-aggressive behavior to hurt you, and this is one such way. He will also say awful things and then deny saying them afterward as if it were all in your head.
8. “What about your issues?”
He fails to take responsibility for his unacceptable behavior. He uses guilt trips to control you – yet another manipulation tactic.
In any given situation, he would minimize your issues so he doesn’t have to be there for you, but when it comes to getting himself out of the gutter, he’s happy to drown you to save himself.