I know he hurt you really bad. You probably still replay everything in your mind to see if you missed anything and why it ended the way it did. I know you still get choked up every time that song comes on and you hear the first few chords played before you rush to change the station. You’ve been doing so good lately with moving on. You really have. But I know there are times when you sit in silence and pray God takes away the pain that seems to still linger just a little. It doesn’t mean you aren’t strong, and it doesn’t mean you aren’t healing. It’s a process and you’re doing just fine.

You’ve been through hell, girl. No one blames you for being scared to step back out there, but you can’t let him keep a hold over you. He is not every guy, and every guy is not like him. I promise. I know it’s hard to trust again, but you will in due time. For now, just keep focusing on putting those pieces of your heart back together on your own. You have to learn to be your own hero right now. But the day will come when someone walks into your life when you least expect it, and you’re going to want to run. Don’t. Do not push him away. Do not run for cover. I’m not saying let your wall down. In fact, if I know you well enough, you’ve built it pretty high by now, probably with gators in a moat surrounding it and armed guards standing by. I’m just saying, give the dude a chance until he gives you a reason not to.

Life is always going to be about taking risks. There is no way around this. You can protect your heart as best you can, but at some point, you’re going to have to let someone in because if you don’t… you’ll be just like the douchebag that broke it in the first place… cold and bitter. You’re going to go through several different emotions. You’re going to feel numb like you have no feelings at all, the tears won’t come as easily, and you’ll even have some bitterness toward love and relationships too, but this will pass as long as you continue to keep moving forward like I’m telling you to. Listen to me, chick, I have been where you are. I know you can’t see it now, but you will look back at this moment one day and thank God that he pulled you out of the darkness you’re in and you’ll see why you had to go through it.

I know it’s still too new for you to see yourself with anyone else right now, but let me just say this. There will be others who will come to waste your time, but you will be able to spot them so much better now that you have this under your belt. They are going to make you feel like you jumped the gun on this, and that maybe you aren’t ready just yet. That’s just the devil talking. Don’t let him win because right after that, right when you’re just about to give up again…God is going to put someone in your life… someone you do not expect. If you’ve prayed and put your trust in God, then you need to continue to trust Him on this one. He knows what He’s doing, and He knows what you need.

When the right one comes along, he is going to put all these fears to rest. He is going to be patient with you because he will know your heart is fragile and that he has to prove he is trustworthy. He won’t mind, so stop apologizing for everything. Stop turning down the help he offers when he tries to do something nice for you. I know you aren’t used to that. You’ve become this independent woman who doesn’t need to rely on anyone, but damn it, let him try! Stop telling him that he’s full of shit when he tells you how beautiful you are. We know you don’t NEED him, but he’s trying to show you he wants to be there in case you ever do.

You’ve been fed so many lies and let down so many times, so it’s hard to believe anyone who tells you they want you, that they love to be around you, that you make them happy, or that they aren’t going anywhere because every guy before him has said these things but left. But if he is backing this up with actions and hasn’t given you a reason to think otherwise, just go with it. Take the compliments he’s giving you, say thank you and smile back. And when you start to feel like you’re falling…. Fall. Don’t try to fight it. Be brave and just let go.

There are still going to be times when you ask yourself if you’re really ready for this: what if he breaks your heart; what if he ends up being like the rest of them, but you can’t go into this anticipating him to fail you like the others did. You are stronger and wiser now, regardless whether you believe this or not. Should things not work out, you will be okay once again. Hell, you’ll probably even bounce back more quickly because you have already seen what you can overcome. Just like you shouldn’t dwell in the past, you can’t curse the future with all the “what if’s” that cross your mind. Live in the here and now, and continue to take it one day at a time. Before you know it, months and years will pass and you will still be happy. You will realize you are at a place in life that you never thought you would ever be.

When this unexpected guy walks into your life, you’re going to wonder why you ever thought about giving up on love. You’ll catch yourself smiling randomly throughout the day and realize it’s because he’s on your mind… followed by a sinking feeling like “oh shit, here we go” because you’re going to realize you’re feeling something. Don’t start second guessing it now, you’re already mid-fall. I know the doubts and fears will start to overwhelm you at times because you’re thinking something is bound to go wrong when things seem like they’re going suspiciously too good. It’s ok! The wounds you’ve suffered may be healing but the cuts were so deep, you’re going to feel the remnants of them from time to time. The anxiety in these moments is perfectly normal, but don’t let it hinder the process of moving on.

I know it’s scary as hell. You’re going to question yourself, wondering if you’re worth it, wondering if he’s worth it, but you are… and so is he. No one said this was going to be easy, in fact, it’s going to be really fucking hard… but you have to give it a shot. You can either let your wounds make you weary or make you into a warrior. Be brave, beautiful. You were meant to be the warrior. Fight in all the right ways for everything you deserve because you deserve nothing short of an amazing, unconditional, fire blazing kind of love. This is why you have to take risks, this is why you have to continue loving as hard as you always have, like you’ve never had your heart broken. This is why you cannot hide your heart… wear it on your sleeve as you always have and wear it proudly… bruised, scarred, with all the rips and tears you’ve put back together piece by piece. It shows the battle you’ve won and that you’re not scared to continue to fight for what you deserve. And THAT my dear, is why you have to keep going.

by Ashley Richard