You will be looking for me in every other woman. You will try to mirror all we had in our relationship with her. You will fail. You will fail so badly and it will hurt like hell. Because the thing we had doesn’t come twice in a lifetime.
We had a connection so rare that everybody around us would feel it. They would all consider us so lucky that we found each other. That we understood each other, sometimes even without using words. Too bad you didn’t share their opinion.
Even though I thought you did. I felt like there was no one more perfect for you in this world but me. You used to look at me with those dreamy eyes of yours like I was the most beautiful girl on the planet even when I didn’t feel like that at all.
We both knew how to listen, how to pay attention to each other’s needs. I felt like I could come to you with anything and that you would understand. That you’d know how to make me feel better.
We had our differences, but who doesn’t. We would be pretty rational even then, which surprised me because my earlier relationships would usually end up with shattered glass all around. They would end up with words that would punch me deeper than any punch and they would always stick with me.
We didn’t have those kinds of problems. We knew where we were different and where we were alike. After all, we are a man and a woman and that’s enough difference to cause problems. No matter the connection we had, we weren’t the same.
I did my best and I gave my best to you. I was always there for you. I would go out of my way just to make sure you were OK. I thought I understood you. When you were in a good mood I was happy for you. We never lacked smiles or affection. When you were low, I remained quiet and I would let you be till you wanted to tell me what the problem was. Even if you wouldn’t tell me I wouldn’t insist; I knew that there wasn’t the necessity to say everything.
All the love, respect and understanding I had in me I gave to you. What hurts the most is that I gave so much of myself to you and you made me feel like I wasn’t enough.
I know I was, and you will know it too someday. Maybe you already do because you keep reaching out, even though you started your life with her. I don’t get why you did that. You chose otherwise. You thought that life with her was going to be better than the one you had with me. There’s no need for you to be anywhere near me, there’s no going back. You lost me for good.
I told you that a long time ago. Once you leave, you leave for good. I won’t give you any opportunities to come back into my life again. I made that kind of mistake before. I learned that my heart is not hooked on a switch so I can’t turn my emotions off and on. So, there are no more second chances. Not even for you. Especially not for you, because I loved you more than anybody else. You leaving hurt more than anything else.
I don’t wish you harm but I know you’ll be searching for me in every other woman you ever meet. Not because I am perfect, not because I am the most beautiful woman you’ve ever been with, but because I loved and cared for you so much. Because we had a connection you only have once in a lifetime. You’ll be looking for me in every other woman you meet because I am ‘me’ and nobody else can compete with that, no one else can replace me.