It would’ve been much easier. It would’ve saved me so much time and energy if I had just run away, but your smile, your laugh, your presence captivated me and I had no kind of opportunity to actually leave.
Something told me that I wasn’t in the right hands, that I was never the one who was on your mind, but that feeling didn’t change the fact that I tried.
I never listen to what my gut was telling me. All I did was fall for you, but you didn’t catch me.
If I hadn’t met you I wouldn’t have had that urge to impress you, to make you love me, to show you how much I’m worth.
With all that effort invested into looking my best and being my best just to impress you, all I got were rejected hugs, broken promises and heartbreaks.
You made me feel like absolutely nothing.
But I still can’t get over the fact that you were so nice to me in the beginning.
You told me that I was different, that I was the one you were waiting for. Where are all those words and promises now?
I wonder if you ever stop and think to yourself: “Man, I miss her.” But you don’t, right?
I won’t romanticise heartbreak—for me it was more like death: crushing my lungs with its weight, taking my breath away.
It’s unbelievable how much destruction one person can cause. But I was forced to stay alive.
That was something I wasn’t prepared for. I was the one keeping myself alive.
If I think, just for a moment, about all those times I accepted the roses and ignored the thornes, all those times I could’ve saved myself from you, I see a little girl, who wants and needs to be loved, being crushed by the narcissism of a person she thought to be her saviour.
Now, I always run. Can’t you see what you’ve done? I run away, even from those people who truly love me. Care for me. Are there for me.
I just run.