You’re finally in a new relationship and the guy you’re with is so dreamy that you feel like a kid in a candy store. All you want to do is spend every waking moment with him and just the thought of his smile makes you so giddy!
Every time your phone beeps, you crave seeing his name lighting up your screen and every time you’re with him, the world ceases to exist. Everything he does is so enchanting and in your mind, he can literally do no wrong.
You can’t get enough of him and you idealize what you have in your head to the point where you’re not even sure how someone so perfect can actually exist!
What you two have is all kinds of wonderful but I’m sorry to break it to you—that’s not love.
Love is a little more complex and a tad messier than that.
When you’re in love, you see all of your partner’s shortcomings, yet you still love him, flaws and all. When it’s real love, you don’t necessarily think he is the most faultless human being on earth, yet you still wish to spend your life with nobody else.
Love is that feeling you have when you’re with that person and it just feels like home. It’s no longer a place but rather a feeling. Wherever you are with him, it’s home and there’s nowhere else you’d rather be.
Love is a slow-burning, steady, flawed and overwhelming sensation and it’s what holds you firmly on the ground.
Love is not blindly romanticizing this person and choosing to turn a blind eye to their flaws. Love is not wanting to be with him 24/7 and forgetting about others close to you.
Love is commitment. Love is promises. Love is transparency and love is forgiveness.
When he messes up, you can swallow your ego, accept that he’s only human and push through it. When you do something you’re not proud of, he does the same for you. You accept each other for exactly who you are and in no way try to change one another.
Love does not mean running away when things start getting heavy. Love does not mean quitting on your partner because you can’t handle real life. Love is teaming up with this person and promising to be there when one of you falters.
And when you say ‘forever’, you mean it. It’s not just an excuse to have some temporary fling that feels pleasant and enjoyable, then disappearing when feelings get in the way.
Love is a promise of always being by this person’s side, no matter how hard the shit hits the fan. Love is tending to their needs when they are sick in bed, unable to offer you anything but their love.
Love takes over you unexpectedly and suddenly you realize there’s this other person whose needs you prioritize almost above your own. It’s that feeling that if something was to happen to this person, you literally couldn’t breathe.
There are so many changes you feel within yourself when you’re in love and it’s almost impossible to explain them until you’ve experienced it yourself.
If you’re unsure whether you feel true love for your partner or if it’s just a temporary infatuation, here are some clear signs that indicate that you are truly in love.
Am I in love? 11 clear signs that prove you totally are!
1. You are able to see all of their imperfections and you still love the shit out of them
In movies, love is often portrayed as two people who appear absolutely perfect for each other, who see one another as flawless human beings and are completely smitten and blinded by that feeling for them that they can’t see them for who they really are.
In real life, love is imperfect, love is flawless and love is complex.
Love is seeing your partner as an ordinary human being who has annoying habits, who can get on your nerves and who will make mistakes.
Love is not going to be a picnic every single day. It’s going to take hard work to preserve it and not every day is going to seem movie-like.
There will be days where you won’t be able to stand to look at this person but at the same time, loving him will never be in question.
You’ll both mess up at times but the commitment you share will never be compromised.
Love is being there through all of the remarkable, feel-good times but also through every single downfall and mistake. Through good times and bad ones—you’re always there.
2. You want to celebrate their success as well as support them through their hardships
People who are in love are always beyond happy to celebrate their partner’s accomplishments. And not because they are proud of themselves for bagging someone smart and capable but because they feel genuine joy for their success.
As you spend time with your person and share in all of their good times as well as the bad ones, you become so connected to them, that whatever they feel, you end up feeling.
If they are excited and happy that their hard work has finally paid off, you are just as happy, literally as if it is happening to you. And if they are disappointed and shattered when things take a turn for the worse, you share in their sorrow.
All of a sudden, their happiness becomes your happiness and their sadness becomes yours.
Another important thing is when you allow yourself to be supported when YOU are going through something tough. You aren’t scared of letting them see you break into pieces but rather seek their comfort, knowing they’ve got your back.
That’s what love is. Being there come hell or high water and feeling secure enough to let them see your vulnerable side. When you no longer have to wonder if they’ll still love you when you’re broken, you know you’re with the right person.
3. You feel completely included in their life and vice versa
Check this scenario. You’re in a seemingly compatible relationship, you feel like there’s genuine love but you both keep parts of your life to yourself (or just one of you does). You still haven’t met the important people in his life and you don’t feel like he wants you to.
There are certain things you don’t talk about because you know they’re off limits. You feel connected but not one hundred percent, because there is still a part of him you feel he’s keeping from you.
If this rings a bell, it’s not really love, it’s an emotionally unavailable type of relationship.
But when you feel like your partner is making an effort to introduce you to all the key people in his life and you don’t have to pressure him to do so, that’s real love.
When you both want the other one to meet your family and friends, that means you are completely willing to include them in your life, as it doesn’t get any more serious than meeting the parents and then the rest of the gang.
You want your partner to know and see where you come from, how you were raised and to meet the people who have shaped you into the person you are today.
You want him to know you for exactly who you are, not hiding any parts of yourself. That is long-lasting love. The thing is, it has to be equal on both parts.
Both partners have to be interested in the other one’s life, otherwise it’s one-sided and it’s not genuine. When you’re just as excited to meet his people as you are to introduce him to your own, your love is real.
4. You are perfectly comfortable disagreeing with them
When you are extremely likely to agree on whatever they have to say, just for the sake of staying together, that’s a clear sign of infatuation.
When they say something you completely disagree with but fear that it might be a deal-breaker, you’ll just go along with it, because that way you secretly hope it means you must be in love.
When in fact, love is the complete opposite. Love means being able to disagree with them without worrying it would push you over the edge. It means being confident in yourself and in what you have that you are perfectly okay with stating your point of view, knowing it totally clashes with theirs.
This goes for both the little things, like what music you’ll listen to on your four-hour road trip or which coffee to get, to those big ones, such as which part of the city to find a place in and how you’d raise your future kids.
When you’re both able to openly and freely state your opinions on any matter and then try to work out the best possible solution and compromise that would work for both of you, there’s a real chance you two are truly in love.
Feeling secure and confident in both yourself and in the commitment you share are key aspects in any real, solid relationship.
5. You don’t depend on your partner to make you happy on the inside
Before you are able to love another human being, you must first know how to love yourself. I know, this sounds like such a cliché but it’s true.
If you expect your partner, and therefore the relationship you share, to fill that gaping hole you feel within yourself, you’re going to end up disappointed. Before engaging in any romantic relationship, you must first know how to make yourself happy.
You have to take responsibility for your own happiness, because you are the only one who knows how to make yourself happy on the inside.
You partner should definitely be someone who inspires the best in you but he shouldn’t be in your life solely because you need him to make you happy—that is in your hands.
When you are at peace with yourself and you know how to make yourself happy without needing your partner, you’re doing it right.
Being able to be vulnerable in front of your partner but still not expect him to pick up the broken pieces is a good sign you’re in a healthy relationship. When you share the good times as well as the bad ones but still are able to be an individual, you have found true love.
6. You really want your nearest and dearest to like him as much as you do
Naturally, the most important thing is that you are perfectly happy and satisfied with the person you’ve chosen to spend your time and life with.
Nobody can tell you who is good for you and who isn’t, as you are the one in the relationship, not them. And when you are finally in a good place and you feel like the person you’re with is the one for you, it comes naturally to want your family and friends to approve of him as well.
All it means is that your feelings are all-encompassing and this person has managed to fully capture your heart and there’s only one thing left to do before you truly know that this is it…
Meeting your people for the final seal of approval. This is an important thing as it represents the commitment, love and appreciation you feel for this person.
When you can mesh your two worlds into one, with everyone on the same page, there is nothing more pleasing for a person in love!
You are attached to your partner and it’s only fair that your nearest and dearest should get a chance to see the person who makes you feel like you’re on cloud nine.
And when they finally meet and things go to plan, you feel an enormous amount of relief. When the people who know you best approve of the one you wish to spend your life with, there is nothing more to question there.
7. You feel like this one’s unlike any other guy you’ve ever dated
You’ve been with a decent number of guys. A few of those were real relationships and some of them you even felt love for. But now, with this one, it’s a whole other dimension of love.
If you thought you were in love before, now, you’re as certain as it gets. You just know that he’s special. Being with him is completely different to any of your previous relationships and you feel like you’re thriving since you met him.
Now, you can’t imagine being with anyone else! The thought of another person holding you in his arms and wishing you goodnight is beyond impossible.
The thought of spending a whole day in bed with someone else, cuddling, watching TV, talking about the universe… repulses you. There’s only him.
With him, you don’t care about perfection. You don’t care about the material stuff. And you don’t care about what anyone will think.
All you want is to spend your eternity with this person, loving the shit out of him and sticking by his side, through all of the rough days.
There’s no one else in this world for you. Not anymore.
8. The most random things remind you of him and you can’t wait to tell him
You’ll be walking down the street, on your way to work, minding your own business, when suddenly, you’ll see a sign on a building that will instantly make you laugh, because it’s part of a private joke you two share and you’ll immediately have to text him.
A song will come on the radio as you’re driving to your mom’s and it’ll be a song that was playing when you saw him for the first time and feelings of happiness and joy will wash over your entire body.
It’s those little things that some wouldn’t even pay attention to but to you, they mean the world, because they are all part of a big puzzle that has shaped your relationship into what it is today!
You are reminded of him on a daily basis and you just love having him pop into your head out of the blue. The feeling is just priceless.
Sometimes, when we truly love a person, it doesn’t take a lot to be reminded of them. They are already firmly engraved in our mind and it’s only a matter of time when you’ll be reminded of them by some, cute, random, little thing that only you two understand the meaning of.
9. You have slight separation anxiety
Sometimes, when you’re in love, it’s not uncommon to show signs of emotional dependency, jealousy and fear of being separated from that person. It’s nothing overly alarming, as long as you don’t let it completely rule your world.
People who are extremely attached to their partner tend to get a little uneasy knowing they’ll be separated for a certain amount of time (no matter how long or short) and it can turn into feelings of anxiety and uneasiness.
It’s important that you can control this. Allow yourself to feel what you’re feeling but deep down, you know that it’s all good and that it’s only in your head. You are powerfully connected and naturally, you don’t like being separated from them.
When you’re without this person, it may feel like you’re not whole and the fear of them leaving you will foolishly make you go a little stir crazy but as long as you know that it’s not as serious as you make it out to be, you’re good.
Love can do crazy things to a person. Sometimes, all you need to do is reel it in and you’ll be totally fine. Nobody can damage your relationship and your partner is coming home to you, safe and sound.
A little dose of jealousy and dependency is nothing if not a sign that you care and that your relationship is the real deal.
10. You feel (positively) changed since being with him
Ever since you started dating him, you have felt an enormous amount of self-growth. You feel like a different person, a better person, and your priorities are so clear.
You keep noticing the little things about yourself that are different, or maybe even those close to you have noticed positive changes as well!
Things that would normally bother you are completely irrelevant now; you no longer let yourself get wound up about things that you can’t change and you no longer feel like chasing some elusive sense of accomplishment.
You feel complete. You feel like you’re finally yourself and things are perfectly aligned, for the first time in your life. The person you were before meeting your partner and the person you are now are completely different people.
This is not to say that your partner is the one in charge of who you are but rather that he has positively influenced your thoughts and actions in a way that doesn’t disrupt your life but makes it easy for you to live in it.
Now that you have this amazing love in your life, everything is so clear. You have your health, your family, your friends and your guy and anything other than that is not relevant to your sense of self-worth.
For as long as those close to you are happy and healthy, you feel happy too. By knowing your partner, you finally know the meaning of true, inner happiness and you’ve never felt more alive.
11. You have started planning your future around him
Previously, whenever you found yourself daydreaming about what your future looked like, the face of the person you were with was always questionable, as you were never really sure if he was the one you’d be sharing your mornings with.
But now, you don’t see a future without him. Whenever you look ahead, whatever you see, both good and bad, he’s there.
Whatever your dreams are, he is a part of them and even if you tried, you couldn’t picture it any other way. You want him to someday be the father of your children. You want to get a little house in the suburbs with him and make friends with your new neighbors.
You want to start a family, settle down and do all the grown-up stuff with no one but him.
Even if you’re nowhere near making your dreams a reality. Even if things are tough right now, he’s still the one you want to find your future with.
With anyone else, it just wouldn’t be worth it. This person is the one you see yourself growing old with and making stupid jokes with. This is the person you’re not afraid to get in some trouble with, because he is the only one who makes it all worthwhile.
He is your future. And no matter what happens, you want nobody else to spend it with.