When it comes to human sexuality, we as a society have certainly come a long way, in terms of being able to finally recognize and accept that there is more than just the heterosexual type of love.
It is still a topic that demands more discussion and understanding but things are slowly but surely starting to look up.
Now, when it comes to people and their own recognition of their sexuality, it is still such a mystery and a thrill finding oneself and realizing that there is no such thing as being just ‘one’ thing.
We as human beings are still too misinformed about all the types of sexualities and what exactly they all represent.
It is completely understandable that one person does not want to be labeled as just this or that, because the spectrum of possibilities is so wide and it is unfair to limit ourself and our search for our true identity.
Greysexuality is one of those very common but not enough talked about types of sexualities.
It is a term that describes the type of person who is not as sexually open or eager as others and finds being sexually aroused a challenge that they are not particularly interested in.
It is not that these people can’t have sex or have any problem performing, it is the mere fact that they don’t find it as exciting or necessary as most people do.
Sex is not high on their priority list and they could very well go without it for large periods of time, feeling perfectly fine without it.
But it would be wrong to oversimplify greysexuality, as there are many more layers to it.
It is much more than just not wanting sex, so I’ll try and break it down so everybody has a full grasp on this once and for all.
If you have ever been confused by your sexuality and felt like you didn’t really fit in anywhere, know that you’re not alone.
There are millions of people out there who are dealing with the exact same problem.
The only thing is that nobody talks about it in public as it is overly stigmatized, so people are scared of being judged for simply being themselves.
Your sexuality is your God-given right and no matter what anybody says, it is okay to be who you are.
We all get to a point where we are so sure that we are one thing and then one day, we find ourself attracted to someone who is outside of what we believed our sexual orientation was and we don’t really know anything anymore.
Greysexuality is nothing to be embarrassed about.
It can be confusing when you feel like you are so different from all your peers and always stand out but being true to yourself is the only thing that’s going to make sense for you.
If you believe that you could be greysexual, here is where you’ll be able to find out for certain, without being judged or looked at differently.
Remember, there is genuinely nothing wrong with feeling a certain way about sex or sexuality in general, so don’t be too hard on yourself.
If you recognize yourself in any of the following 7 qualities, it means that you are indeed greysexual and you should proudly own it!
1. You’re definitely not asexual but you’re just not as interested in sex as everybody around you appears to be
You don’t like being labeled as straight or gay but you still aren’t quite sure what you are, since the spectrum of human sexuality is just too broad to limit yourself like that.
When it comes to sex, you’re a bit perplexed as to what your deal is.
You are not totally opposed to it but you don’t really feel the need for it like those around you do.
You’ve never been so aroused that you simply had to do it and if you didn’t have sex for the rest of the year, it wouldn’t faze you one bit. And that’s what scares you and confuses you.
Shouldn’t you be like everybody else?
Shouldn’t you feel that undying need to have a steamy romp under the sheets with your partner at a moment’s notice?
No, you shouldn’t. Greysexuality is a thing and if this is how you feel most of the time, it is simply a sign that you might belong in this spectrum and there is nothing wrong with that. Own it!
2. You have been sexually attracted to someone before, it is simply a very rare occurrence for you
There may have been a time when you felt the urge for sexual intimacy and wanted to act on it.
There was a guy or a girl you were deeply attracted to and you actually wanted to rip their clothes off right then and there but it simply hasn’t happened in a really long time.
You know what it feels like and you know it felt good but you don’t really miss it and don’t have a problem with that.
You know that this is something that is highly unlikely to happen again.
You just don’t feel the need for sex like other people do, so when it does happen, it is quite a unique feeling.
You are totally open for it to happen again but it is just not something that is likely going to happen for you and you simply have to learn to be okay with that, as it is a common thing and nothing to sweat too much.
3. A platonic relationship is something you care about much more than the sexual aspect of it
It’s not like you intentionally gravitate toward relationships that are void of sexual desire but it just happens more often than not that you enjoy the platonic aspect much more profoundly.
Sexuality is not the driving force in your life, therefore you are much more naturally attracted to people with whom you have deep, meaningful, platonic relationships.
Sex is not a thing upon which you rule out possible partners, so it really doesn’t matter to you if you’re not sexually compatible as long as there is an emotional connection.
You are much more interested in having lots of things in common with your partner and being able to share your deepest thoughts and dreams with them, so when you find someone like that, you feel fulfilled.
Your relationships are often devoid of sex and it hasn’t been easy finding somebody who is as okay with that as you are.
It makes you feel wrong but it is actually a frequent occurrence for many people.
Just because you don’t hear about it doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen to other people. Trust me, it does.
4. You have a really low sex drive and can’t find anyone who relates to that
Since it’s so rare for you to actually be turned on and want sex, your sex drive is really low as well.
You can’t seem to find anyone who can relate to this or who makes you feel okay about it.
You don’t even pleasure yourself that much, it just doesn’t seem to be something you are ever in the mood for.
Your sex drive is really mellow and it is borderline worrisome.
Even if you do have a partner, getting it on with them is not something that is appealing to you.
You simply don’t want to get laid and no matter the person, it’s just not your thing.
Don’t feel discouraged if you feel this way and you can’t find a person who relates to this.
It is hard to understand something that you are not personally going through.
Be true to who you are and don’t make yourself do things you don’t want to do just to please someone else.
You’ll find a way to feel okay about this, just give it time and who knows, you might find somebody else just like you.
5. You enjoy making out a lot more than having sex
You enjoy all those romantic aspects of a relationship. You love going on date nights, holding hands and being gentle with one another.
You enjoy their company and the closeness you share and it truly makes you feel fulfilled.
You love making out and you could enjoy it literally for hours. There is just not a big chance for it to end up in bed.
You know that it’s totally expected and normal to feel romantically attracted to your partner and you are—you just don’t have the need to end the night with sex.
For you, making out is often as far as it will go.
It makes you feel good, connected and happy and the desire to end it all with all of your clothes on the floor is equal to zero.
A kiss is a very intimate display of affection for you and you cherish it more than others do.
You know it’s highly unlikely it will lead anywhere else, so you take your time and really enjoy it.
6. You will choose to have your emotional needs met over your sexual needs anytime
You are much more into the emotional and intellectual side of things.
If you end up not having sex for the rest of your life, you’re cool with that. But not having your emotional needs met? Not cool.
Your mind and your emotions always come first.
Your body and its needs aren’t as emphasized with you, so it’s totally fine not being sexually pleased, as long as you’re happy and fulfilled in all the other aspects.
If you were ever put in a situation where you had to choose between having your sexual needs or your emotional needs met, you would always go for the latter. You wouldn’t even have to think about it.
As long as you and your partner click on all those fundamental things that are so important to you, you don’t even think about anything else.
An emotional connection is all you seek in a partner and when you find it, you don’t really need to look any further. This is it for you.
7. You are completely okay with not being sexually defined or limited
You may be greysexual, demisexual or homosexual but even if you can’t really find yourself specifically in one of these, you’re okay with that.
You know that human sexuality is something that’s not supposed to be a thing that limits you and your proclivities, so you allow yourself to be curious and experiment if you wish to.
It is nobody’s business but your own how you choose to define yourself in terms of your sexuality.
If you don’t feel like defining yourself at all, embrace it and be proud of it.
This is who you are and how the world sees you, so be true to it.
Having the need to define what you are and therefore limit your options can be daunting, so you never wish to do that to yourself.
You simply want everybody to let go of the labels and be free and do whatever they want with their bodies.
You feel empowered and carefree with accepting yourself exactly how you are; sexually open or not, it’s all the same to you!
It takes a brave, bold person to take a stand that is a little different from what society imposes on us, so never fail yourself by conforming to it.
You are fantastic exactly how you are and whoever has a problem with that does not belong in your life.