We all express emotions in different ways and have different reactions to the circumstances around us. Some of us are more sensitive and some express their feelings with more difficulty and that is all natural.
But there are people who can’t keep their emotions in balance and who have a hard time controlling them. This can be caused by different things, such as a childhood trauma, or it can be a sign of depression, anxiety disorder or some other mental illness.
Either way, although these signs vary from one person to another, there are some behavior patterns common to most emotionally unstable people. Emotional instability can be best seen when it comes to romantic relationships and that is when it usually comes to the surface.
Therefore, if you have doubts about if the man you are dealing with is emotionally unstable, here are 8 warning signs you should pay attention to.
1. His mood changes frequently
One of the traits of an emotionally unstable person is their moodiness. Although mood changes are a natural part of everyone’s personality from time to time, when it comes to emotionally unstable people these changes are more intense and happen across short periods of time.
If you are dealing with an emotionally unstable man, his mood will change frequently without any apparent reason. One day, this guy will be the happiest man ever and the very next day, he’ll act like everything is bothering him. All of a sudden, he will act nervously and it will make you wonder what it was that you did wrong.
These mood changes involve intense emotions, such as sadness, panic attacks, despair, depression and anxiety, that seem to be without any cause. Besides, these mood swings are extreme and rapid. They can be minor daily mood changes or significant changes, associated with different mood disorders.
Although at first you probably won’t think of this as a big deal, these changes in mood are often disruptive and can be one of the signs of a borderline personality disorder.
2. He is too needy
Emotionally unstable people are often insecure and have serious abandonment issues, which results in their neediness. When you first meet a guy, you’ll be more than happy to see that he likes you very much and that he doesn’t have a problem expressing his feelings. But actually, this guy sees you as a savior and someone who will resolve all of his emotional problems.
He will rarely let the relationship go its own course. Instead, he’ll consider the moment you two meet to be the most important thing in his life.
As soon as he falls in love with you, this guy will start living in fear that he is not good enough for you and that you’ll walk away from him sooner or later. That increases his stress levels and makes him cling even harder to you and to your relationship. Even though you are just at the start of the relationship, this man will show you that he is overly emotionally needy, extremely clingy and demanding, which will start to annoy you in no time.
He simply needs your approval and your emotional guidance and assistance through life, due to his emotional instability, together with an anxiety disorder he probably fights with as well. Before you know it, this guy will get overly attached to you because he sees your relationship as an opportunity to fill his emotional gaps. Of course, this kind of situation will overwhelm you in no time and you’ll find yourself in a dead-end street, not knowing what to do.
3. He can’t control his emotions
It is common for all of us to sometimes be controlled by our emotions but when it comes to emotionally unstable people, their emotions are always what rules their entire life.
One of the most obvious signs that you are dating an emotionally unstable guy is the fact that he can’t control his emotions and that he is prone to having impulsive actions. Everything he feels is intense and extreme and it consumes him completely.
In the beginning, you may think that this is a good thing and this guy is just highly sensitive and overly emotional and you think he is definitely different from everyone else. But as time goes by, you see that this is not such a good thing. It’s simple—this guy doesn’t have control over himself and it doesn’t matter if what he is feeling is sadness, anger, love, jealousy or any other kind of emotion, the point is that his feelings are the only things that lead him through life.
His emotions are usually the only things that affect his ability to make decisions, which often causes him to make poor and unrealistic judgments.
4. He plays the victim
Reality is something that emotionally unstable people find hard to handle. They often don’t have enough emotional strength to face the consequences of their actions nor to take responsibility for something they’ve done. Therefore, they usually play the victim, because it is easier for them to handle life this way.
They usually blame some higher force, the universe or fate for everything wrong that is going on in their life. They think that everyone around them is treating them unfairly and that their problems are the biggest. If you are dating an emotionally unstable person, nothing will ever be his fault. This man will probably try to blame you for everything bad in your relationship. And even if he admits that he did or said something wrong, he’ll make you believe you caused him to do so.
He enjoys being the victim and subconsciously he wants you to feel sorry for him. By doing this, he also emotionally manipulates and blackmails you to stay by his side. Of course, in the beginning, you know that he is wrong and that not everything can be your fault but as time goes by, you also start perceiving him as a victim and start questioning your actions and whether you are the one who is mistaken.
5. He is prone to lying
Emotionally unstable people have a hard time seeing and accepting reality. Therefore, they are prone to perceiving things as they wish them to be. That usually leads them to lying and presenting the truth differently, without even being aware of it. It is perfectly normal to tell a casual white lie from time to time but if you’ve noticed that your partner is frequently lying and twisting the truth, without even feeling guilty about it, it is probable that he has a problem.
A borderline personality disorder, which includes emotional instability, is usually connected with compulsive lying. When you are dating a compulsive liar, this guy is not only lying to you and everyone around him, he is also lying to himself and that is the biggest problem.
6. His reactions are extreme
An emotionally unstable man will rarely be realistic toward anything that is going on in his life. Like all other emotionally unstable people, he will usually overreact to everything that is going on with him or around him. When the slightest inconvenience happens to him, this guy will see it as the end of the world.
All of his emotions are intense and he has extreme reactions to everything, without even being aware of it and without being able to control it. These extreme reactions can be a sign of some emotional or impulse control disorder and that is something that needs to be taken very seriously.
This man probably has some underlying emotions that he finds difficult to handle, so he expresses them whenever he has the chance to. Most emotionally unstable people have trouble expressing their anger and this guy is probably no exception. This means that when he has some anger issues, for example, which he hasn’t dealt with in good time, it becomes easy for him to use anger as a surface negative reaction for some other deeper emotions.
Whenever this guy finds himself in a situation that he considers to be unacceptable or hard to handle, he doesn’t know how to express his emotions the right way, so consequently he has an extreme, inappropriate reaction to that situation.
7. He has a hard time keeping a stable relationship
A guy who has a problem keeping his emotions balanced will also have a hard time keeping his relationship stable. This is not just the case with his romantic relationships but with all other relationships in his life as well.
If this guy frequently changes friends and can’t maintain firm relations with anyone, it is a sure sign of his emotional instability. When you first meet a guy with commitment issues and who has never had a serious relationship in his life, you may think that he is just a player or that he hasn’t had the chance to meet the right girl just yet. But it is likely that he has some deeper issues that need to be worked on.
This man obviously has a hard time maintaining a stable relationship with himself and that reflects on everyone around him. When you find yourself in a relationship with him, you feel like you need to walk on eggshells because you never know what type of behavior to expect.
8. He isn’t predictable
Although being with someone who doesn’t live his life by a schedule is never boring and can be a huge turn-on in the beginning, it can also be a sign of their emotional instability.
At first, this guy puts you through a roller coaster of emotions and you find this exciting but as time goes by, you start to feel like you are dating more than one person. When you are involved with an emotionally unstable man, you never know what to expect from him and it becomes exhausting with time.
You never know where you two stand and in the beginning, you’ll probably think that he is playing mind games with you. Although that is possible, it is likely that this man has some deeper emotional issues that cause him to behave like this. His emotional instability causes him to lose balance in all other areas of life, including his romantic relationships.