“I promise I will never let you go!” – You told me that while we were lying in your bed, naked and tired of making love.
I felt like the safest person in your arms, and I thought to myself how happy I was. Actually, I could never understand how God sent me such a good man. You were everything I had ever dreamed about.
You were handsome, successful, passionate, kind, and supportive. Every woman would fall in love with you in the blink of an eye. And I wasn’t an exception. Our love was passionate and without limitations. We were fighting with passion and afterward making love with passion.
I loved you to the moon and back, and I was willing to spend the rest of my life with you.
But being blindly in love with you, I couldn’t see other things. Things that scarred my life. Things I will never be able to forget. Nor forgive.
While I was dreaming about our future and having kids together, you had another plan.
You were a hedonist—a man who lives his life to the fullest. Unfortunately, your plan didn’t include me.
You were going out with different women while I was waiting for you to come home. Maybe some of them were better than me, so you decided to sleep with them. I was just a cover for your family and friends. I was the good one, the pure and honest one, the one you will have kids with. The one who will pretend that everything is okay while her world is falling apart. You wanted to make me look like I was someone else.
You wanted me to be the main actress in the movie of your life. You did it all because I had all the predispositions to be an ideal wife and dedicated mother. You were cheating on me whenever you had a chance.
Without remorse, without even thinking of me.
You swore that you loved me while you were buying jewelry for one of your mistresses. And the worst part was that I didn’t know anything about it. I was living in ignorance, and I was thanking God for making me such a lucky woman.
But a lie has no legs. Eventually, I found out what you had been doing to me all those years. You were constantly cheating on me while I thought everything was okay. I must admit, you were a damn good actor. I definitely didn’t see this one coming. And when I found out what you did to me, it felt like a cold shower. I couldn’t say even a word. I just stood there, trying to move my body, but I couldn’t. Everything was too perfect to end up like this. But unfortunately, it ended.
And the main reason for that was you!
When I saw you coming to apologize, I pretended that I didn’t care while really, I was falling apart inside. You said that you were sorry and that it was only one night, your moment of weakness. You said that you loved me and that it wasn’t your intention to hurt me.
You said so much crap and halfway through your story, I just stopped listening to you. I couldn’t stand that anymore. I couldn’t stand that shit can happen to a good girl like me. I couldn’t stand that we always lose the ones we love. I couldn’t stand that someone cheated on me. And most of all I couldn’t stand that it was you.
The day when I let you go I was born again. I burned all the bridges between you and me. I didn’t want to see you or hear from you anymore. Because you had your chance, and you blew it.
I wanted to move on and moving on doesn’t mean not loving someone anymore. It is about having the strength to say: “I still love you, but you are not worth this pain!”
One day, you are gonna remember me and how much I loved you, and you will hate yourself for letting me go.
Since you decided to let me go, now is the time for me to do the same!