I had what I always wanted, a person next to me who loved me as I was and for which I was ready to give it all. I had literally everything and I was the happiest person in the world. When he was sad, my heart was fading, and when he was happy, I was happier to see his smile, the most beautiful I’ve ever seen in my life. My fairy tale lasted for almost three years, the three most happy years of my life.
He was the best person I knew, the person I loved in the true sense of the word. He was the person I was ready to do anything for and for which I had no single ugly word. I still have nothing bad to say about him. Suddenly everything is over and with the words I heard that day, the words that hurt me more than anything, I felt like my dream was over, my fairy tale had ended, nothing else in life made sense.
I still don’t understand why you were jealous of my best friend. You knew that he had been my best friend from childhood. We shared everything together for ten years but you were my love. I was never in love with him, you are the only person who ever thought that we had something in the past. It was all in your head. I believe you tried to ignore that but your jealousy was eating you up from the inside out.
Even today, the tears do not stop, my sorrow is immense, my heart is broken. I was hoping that you would call me. I was ready to end my friendship with him, just to get you back. I do not want someone else to kiss me ever. No one has kissed me since you. I can’t imagine that.
I really thought that you would call or write. I started texting you, every day. I wrote to you about everything, how I felt, how hurt I was. I told you that I had stopped seeing him because I knew that he was the reason you left me, so I thought it would help. But it didn’t. I was alone after that, really alone.
I wrote you those texts every single day for 365 days. How do you think I felt? After six months, I realized that you would not respond to me but I could not stop. I could not give up, as you were the love of my life, I needed to show you that you were the only one. How could you ignore me? I begged you. I never did the things that I did for you for anyone else but you were my whole world.
Maybe you never read those texts, I don`t know. But I know you received them. I saw that in your eyes every time we said, “Hi,” to each other. I wanted to ask you but you told me that day that you didn’t want us to talk ever again because it would be too painful for both of us. You never said anything about writing, only talking. While I was writing you the last text, it was like going through that goodbye again but I knew I had to do it. I was tired, tired of hoping, of writing and even of loving. I needed to stop if I wanted to get my life back. I did everything I could to get you back but my everything wasn’t enough.
I will always love you, and I will never let anybody say a wrong word about you. For me, you were that, the right one, but apparently I was not right for you.
I do not blame you for anything and I do not regret any moment spent with you, or any word I wrote to you because those were the most beautiful three years. I hope you will never forget, because I won’t. Today, all I have are just memories.
You will always be my silent suffering. I wish you all the happiness in the world because you deserve it. You deserve to be happy my love and I hope you will be.
I am letting you go now because I can’t fight this fight alone anymore.