STOP

1. …choosing the guy you know is unavailable

woman in black top hugging man outdoor

This is a self-sabotaging pattern many women follow.

No matter the reason for him being unavailable, don’t choose him. If you can see he’s emotionally distanced, stop pursuing a relationship with him.

If he’s one of the boys who are open about never wanting to get married or have a committed relationship – don’t let yourself fall for him.

If you’ve noticed that you constantly lose interest in guys who were unavailable and then become available – work on this issue.

2. …looking for romance and look for partnership instead

man hugging woman while sitting on concrete outdoor

There is a certain type of guy or a certain type of situation that will probably attract you if you’re looking for romance.

If your thoughts and ideas of love consist of incredibly romantic, passionate scenarios – you might be on the wrong track.

If you’re searching for love, you should stop equating love with romance and start seeing it as a partnership. This will change your perception and affect the way you choose your potential partners.

Once you know you’re looking for a person who will become your partner and be there for you for better or for worse, you’ll think twice when you’re choosing the one to be with.

3. …focusing on your phone so much

woman lying on bed and using smartphone

Seriously, adjust your focus elsewhere. While there’s a chance you’ll find love online, the old fashioned ways work better.

Also, if you’re constantly following different people’s lives, it might seem to you that their love lives are amazing.

It may seem to you like they’re continuously celebrating their love and enjoying every single moment of their romance and this can give you false expectations.

So, stop following other people’s lives and trying to recreate other people’s love stories. Instead, get up, go out, and try to create your own, unique story.

4. …thinking the perfect relationship won’t require work

woman wearing black top sitting on black surface

Talking about false expectations, movies and books might have given you the idea that true love requires no work. Well, that’s false.

While true love is simple and you can feel the connection with your soulmate, relationships always require work.

You spend so much time with someone and share so much it’s impossible for it to always go perfectly.

Also, people change with time and the relationship changes with them. Both partners need to be equally ready to compromise and get used to each other and each other’s needs.

Yup, this means that you should stop expecting everything to run smoothly all the time, and stop wasting good relationships just because a little problem occurs. 

START

1. …enjoying time on your own

woman sitting near plants and fence during daytime

You have to learn to love being on your own before finding the person to share your life with. Enjoy your time by yourself. 

If you don’t enjoy your own company, you can’t really expect anyone else to, either.

There are many benefits to being single and you should take advantage of all of them, because once you find your soulmate you’ll be taken forever.

2. …building up your confidence

woman in white shirt and black pants standing outdoor

Being confident is important for your well being and also attracts other people. Think about your best traits and remind yourself of them.

If there are things to be improved, do them. Do whatever makes you feel amazing about yourself.

You have to become aware of your own worth so others don’t make you think you’re worth less than you actually are.

3. …understanding your own needs

woman in white shirt sitting on bed touching her hair

Before you enter a relationship and while you’re still searching for love you should use that time to think about your actual wants and needs. 

What is it you’re looking for in a partner? What are some things he simply needs to be/do? What are some things he should never do?

What kind of person is able to suit your needs? 

Dig deep into your mind, think about your past relationships and where they went wrong and decide what way you need to be loved and what kind of person can give you the kind of love you deserve.

4. …going to places people with the same interests as you go to

woman in brown shirt standing in front of library books

Opposites do attract, but it strengthens a relationship to have some common interests too. It also makes it easier to start a relationship, because it gives you something to talk about and connect over.

If you have any particular interests (and everyone does), go to places where you’ll find people with those same interests. If you like books – visit libraries, if you like tennis – go play on a public court, you see where I’m going with this?

Going to places where you can find people that are similar to you in one way or another will give you an opportunity to form a relationship with someone who will be able to understand you.

4 Things To Stop & 4 Things To Start Doing If You’re Searching For Love