Even though cheating has sadly become common in modern dating, being cheated on by your loved one is still one of the most devastating things anyone could experience.

I should know because I felt it on my skin.

When you, whom I thought was the love of my life , cheated on me, I felt betrayed, humiliated, and disappointed besides being heartbroken.

I felt like the person I trusted the most backstabbed me in the most awful way. Also, I couldn’t help but wonder how come I didn’t see it before.

How come I was so foolish to allow something like this to keep on happening right in front of my eyes, without me noticing a single thing?

Just like that, my sense of self-worth disappeared overnight.

sad woman sitting on the bed

I asked myself what you missed in our relationship that you had to search for in someone else. What did this girl have that I didn’t?

Every single one of these thoughts and questions ran through my head the moment I found out that you weren’t faithful.

Even though staying by your side was never an option, leaving you didn’t ease my pain.

I felt like I wanted to die and as if nothing and nobody could help me feel better. Like it was the end of the world and as if I would never recover from everything you did to me.

I asked myself how I could have wasted so many years of my life on living in a lie.

Obviously, you never loved nor respected me the way you should have because you don’t do a thing like this to someone you love.

woman crying while man sitting on bed

I would understand if you were honest enough to tell me that you fell out of love with me.

But what I could never understand and forgive you for was violating my trust and keeping me as your back up plan while having an affair and while convincing me that you loved me more than anything.

After some time spent grieving, I’ve decided it is time to put myself back together one way or another.

After all, you were somewhere out there living your life, as if nothing had happened, and here I was, holding on to this pain and allowing my heartbreak to define me.

I’ve decided that I wasn’t to blame for everything that went on and that you are the only one responsible for your cheating .

sad woman looking through rainy window

I knew I did my best to make our relationship work, and if there was something that bothered you, you should have come clean about it instead of fooling around behind my back.

I’ve decided that hating the girl you had an affair with was pointless, as well.

Yes, my first instinct was to blame her for everything, but then it hit me—she wasn’t the one who promised commitment to me.

She wasn’t the one who would lay in bed next to me every night as if everything was alright, the one who continued to make future plans with me, knowing what was happening, and the one who kept on swearing that she loved me, even though the truth was completely different.

sad woman sitting on bed while man sleeping

Nevertheless, despite all of this, I learned that I shouldn’t be hating you either. I’ve realized that holding grudges and being bitter was only impacting me negatively.

My desire for revenge was only making me a prisoner of my own pain, and it didn’t affect you in any way whatsoever.

So, this is not me cursing you or wishing you all the worst. This is not me resenting you or swearing that I’ll never forgive you for everything you’ve done.

No, this is me thanking you. Yes, you’ve heard it right: I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for cheating on me.

Because if you hadn’t done it, I wouldn’t be the person I am today. I wouldn’t know how strong of a woman I am, and I wouldn’t know how much I could take.

calm woman relaxing outdoor

I wouldn’t know that a simple heartbreak can’t break me completely. That time really does heal all wounds and that every pain is temporary, no matter how devastating it might feel.

I wouldn’t know that I could make it without you or without anyone else to hold my hand. If you hadn’t cheated on me, I wouldn’t have become my own hero and savior.

I wouldn’t understand some eye-opening truths about love and people in general.

I wouldn’t know that there are some insensitive and toxic people, such as yourself, who don’t give a damn about hurting others and that my love can’t change those people, as much as I would like it to.

Most importantly, if you hadn’t cheated on me, I wouldn’t have loved and respected myself the way I do now.

woman with closed eyes in sunlight standing

I wouldn’t know how much I deserve, what love isn’t or what to expect from a healthy relationship.

I wouldn’t be this proud of my strength and my capacity to overcome all miseries.

I wouldn’t have known better than not to let people who don’t deserve me into my life, and I would continue thinking that there is nothing wrong with settling for less.

So, thank you for cheating on me because if you hadn’t done it, I would have never learned a valuable life lesson.

An Open Letter To My Ex Thank You For Cheating On Me