All those text messages, all those video and phone calls, they mean a great deal to me. They do, it’s just they mean nothing if they’re a game to you.
You keep telling me how special, amazing and smart I am. I really want to believe that, but you have yet to prove to me that I am.
You have yet to earn my trust that you will not leave like every other guy. I have to be sure that you are worth my love.
I don’t need you to be a stop along the way, I don’t need another short affair. I’m ready to reach my destination and I’m ready for you to be it.
But I don’t think I can handle another playful game with my heart and my feelings. I don’t think I’ll survive another disappointment.
And I deserve someone who will cherish me and love me. I deserve someone who will catch me.
So, please, stop making me fall in love. Stop promising me fairy tales and happy endings, stop making me believe that we have something, if we have nothing. I’m just a human being.
I have hopes, I have dreams and I have feelings. Feelings that are not yours to play with. I have been broken many times and I don’t need you to drop me as well and break what’s left of me.
I need you to hold me tight, to help me glue all these pieces back together.
You see, I’ve been through a lot; I’ve been bended to breaking point, I have been manipulated, cheated on and intoxicated by people I believed were all the right one.
I have plenty of baggage with me, broken dreams and hopes, broken bones and a scarred heart. And I realize that this is terrifying to you.
So please, understand me when I ask you to leave, because I don’t know if you’re ready for all of this.
I understand that sometimes, no matter how much you love someone, they just can’t love you back in the same way. Being in a such relationship is way lonelier than being alone.
Please, don’t turn out to be another cup of loneliness in my life. I wish you would leave now, before I fall for you completely. Before I give in to you all the way. I’d understand if you did.
But you keep chasing me. You keep promising me years of love, only to leave the next week and come back in a month. You promise me all of your support, only to leave me hanging when I need you the most.
I can’t do this anymore. So, please, stop chasing me unless you’re ready to catch me. I can’t keep fighting for us, when it feels like I’m the only one fighting.
I can’t keep walking in circles around all those damn walls you built in the hope that you’d let me in.
At some point, you have to make a decision, because walls don’t keep other people out, they fence you in. I let you in, because it felt right. When will you do the same?