Falling in love means spending a huge amount of time with this new person.
And spending a lot of time with someone makes us unknowingly mimic their behaviour and habits, even in the littlest ways.
This change is not something you should worry about.
As human beings, we are constantly learning and exploring ourselves as individuals and figuring this whole love thing out.
It is perfectly normal to start speaking similarly to your partner after a while because after all, he’s the one you spend the majority of your time with.
And it’s totally fine if some of his habits rub off on you. It’s something you don’t have a lot of power over.
And for as long as it’s not something that’s causing you any unhappiness or unpleasantness, you’re in the clear.
But if your man is subtly asking you to change in a way that isn’t something you’re okay with, you should definitely feel free to say no.
If he wants you to change things about yourself that you are perfectly happy with, you should definitely speak out.
You are amazing exactly the way you are. And if your man cannot accept you in all of your adorable messiness, maybe he’s not the one for you after all?
Because a person who loves you unconditionally and irrevocably embraces all of you – flaws and all. A person who loves you, only pushes you to become an even better version of yourself.
They will never purposely ask you to change for their own selfish ulterior motives.
A real man appreciates and accepts a woman for who she is, not who he wants her to be!
So if you’re thinking about changing for a man, don’t do it unless these 5 things start happening:
1. Never change for a man unless you feel like it’s making you grow as a person
Everybody has a different idea of what growing and maturing means.
So you’re the only one who can decide whether being with him is making you grow or not.
You are the only one who knows the effect he has on you and your inner thoughts.
There is no point in lying to yourself.
If you’re feeling yourself become more compassionate, open-minded and kind, that’s a good sign that his presence is helping you improve as a person.
If you feel more liberated and more secure in yourself, you’re with the right person.
If him being near you makes you feel like you no longer care about the BS that used to bother you, it means you’ve hit the boyfriend jackpot!
Anyone whose mere presence has such a soothing and empowering effect on you is a great person to stay close to.
2. Never change for a man unless you’re learning about new and amazing things
There is something extraordinary about people who are able to expand our horizons and help us learn so many amazing new things in a fun and kind way—not in that conceding ‘’told you so’’ way that makes you feel dumb.
But rather in a way that helps you see how interested and curious you are about the world around you.
And when this person is able to help you discover this new side of you that has a profound zest for knowledge, you should stick by them no matter what.
Life is all about learning and discovering. Whether it’s about yourself or about the world around you, it makes no difference.
If your mind is open and your soul yearns for new experiences, you are with a good person indeed.
3. Never change for your man unless it means losing your bad (unhealthy) habits
If you’re a smoker, your partner might ask you to reconsider it. If you like to drink a lot, your partner might ask to cut down just a little bit.
And he would be totally within his rights to do that. Why? Because it’s for your own good.
If your man wants you to lose toxic habits that are in no way improving your life but rather diminishing the quality of it, you should strongly consider listening to him.
He means well. He wants you to live a long and happy life.
And if you smoke 2 packs of cigarettes a day and drink no matter what day of the week it is, you should listen to him and simply cut back.
You’ll be thankful later, I promise.
4. Never change for a man unless it makes you approach conflict in a healthy way
You are who you are. And the way you’ve always done things is the way you’re probably always going to do them.
But when it comes to quarrelling with your partner, there is always something to learn on that front.
If your partner has taught you a new and possibly healthier way to approach conflict, that’s actually a great thing.
If he has helped you understand that there are two people in this relationship, both of whom are equally entitled to their opinions, you should stick by him.
Not a lot of people are going to help you fight with them more productively! But all kidding aside.
It would be so easy just proving you wrong and diminishing you. But if instead he helps you see other points of view, maybe he’s one of the good ones after all?
5. Never change for a man unless your friends tell you how much happier you seem since you’ve been with him
There are some changes that are perfectly okay to implement if this person truly makes your world brighter.
After all – compromise is key to any good relationship.
And if you’ve had friends tell you multiple times how much happier and healthier you seem ever since you started seeing him, trust them!
They will always tell you how it is! So if he asks you to spend a little extra time with him before going out with your girls, maybe you can budge.
If it’s a tiny little thing that does no harm to anyone (on the contrary!) don’t even think about it. Trust your gut and trust your friends. That way – you can do no wrong.
