Simply identifying your problematic relationship habits is a mighty task in itself, so don’t expect it to happen overnight.
Shaking off your toxic habits is going to take serious work because you won’t even notice they’re there until you’ve struggled with the same issues with multiple different partners or had the exact same problems with one partner over and over again.
Whichever one it is, it clearly implies that you’ve endured a troubling amount of heartbreak, and knowing how to unlearn those bad habits will help you save yourself and be a more considerate and empathetic partner.
Here are some helpful tips that will help you break out of your toxic rut and guide you to a healthier, happier and a more self-aware woman.
1. Stop being passive-aggressive and learn to ask for things that you want
You can’t expect your partner to read your mind and know what you want unless you learn to be vocal about it.
If you are guilty of often mumbling to yourself whenever your partner doesn’t do something you want, ask yourself if you have actually asked it of them in the first place? If not, learn to speak up, and don’t resent things you haven’t even asked for.
It’s totally normal to expect your partner to do his part around the house, go to the store or make more effort into spending quality time together, but it is NOT okay to expect him to know that you want these things without ever saying them out loud.
2. Recognize that your partner is entitled to his needs as well
Sometimes, we can get so wrapped up in our own world and our own needs that we forget that there is another person there who is equally entitled to have their way as well.
Next time your partner is seemingly upset with you or is asking something of you, stop yourself from retaliating, and instead, ask them what is wrong and how you can make it better.
See, you’re not the only one with needs to be met. Your partner is too. So be considerate of that, and learn to meet him halfway. You should both be happy, so work on compromising as much as possible and listen to hear, not to reply.
3. Don’t make your partner the center of your universe
We’re all guilty of sometimes ignoring our friends and family due to our love life and wanting to be with our partner 24/7.
But remember that you had a life before him. You’ve got people around you that you love and need to check in with in order to not get too lost in your relationship and hurt yourself in the long run.
Remind yourself to text your bestie, call your mom and go for a hike with your family. Those will clear your mind and help you see your relationship from a healthy perspective.
Spend quality time with those close to you, and you will appreciate having your partner to come home to that much more.
4. Don’t let your jealousy spiral out of control
If you’re a jealous person by nature or have the tiniest jealous streak in you, it’s best you air it all out before it gets the best of you.
If you want to know where your man is, openly ask, if you want to know about his new female coworker, just ask him, but do not resort to snooping and checking his private texts when he’s not around.
That is a toxic pattern of behavior that can easily spiral out of control.
Speak up when the smallest things occupy your mind, and help your relationship to last. Honesty and transparency are always the best choices of action.
5. Learn to let go of temporary anger and apologize when necessary
You’re not always going to be right, and it’s immature to sulk for too long. When your partner apologizes after messing up, learn to accept it, and move on!
Don’t hold onto negative feelings. They will only eat away at you and make you miserable. Knowing when to apologize and admit when you are wrong is one of the most mature things a person can do in a relationship.
You will both make mistakes. What matters is that you both own up to them, apologize and move forward with clear minds and no grudges.
Find your way out of a funk together, and learn to acknowledge a problem when you notice it. That is the first step towards bettering yourself and your relationship.
When you recognize a toxic habit within you, it is important to admit to yourself that it’s there, firmly decide to work on getting rid of it, and discuss it with your partner.
When you are willing to work on yourself, you are giving your relationship the best chance it has to survive.