Devo bloquear o meu ex? Estas 10 constatações vão ajudá-lo a decidir

Deve Bloqueio o meu ex nas redes sociais? Devo também bloquear o seu número? I can’t tell you how many times these annoying, pesky questions have rummaged through my mind pós-rutura. De facto, a aprendizagem como ultrapassar uma relação não é uma tarefa fácil.

And I can bet that I’m not the only one. We’ve all been through pretty much the same dilemmas when it comes to people who were such a huge part of our lives.

Será isto uma atitude desesperada? E se mais tarde me arrepender? Será que isso lhe vai mostrar que Ainda me preocupo?

Pensando bem, será esta a melhor coisa que posso fazer pela minha saúde mental e pela minha futura vida amorosa? Será que isto me vai trazer a tão desejada paz interior?

I bet these are all the questions going through your head. You’re putting the pros and the cons on a scale but you can’t seem to come up with the answer.

Well, you’ve come to the right person because I’m about to give you all the answers you need- or at least, I’ll help you get to them.

Here, I’m going to discuss what you should consider and ask yourself before blocking your ex and explain how your decision could be perceived by your ex-namorado.

Porque é que o deve fazer?

Existem várias razões para bloquear o seu ex, mas há uma que as supera a todas: se jogar bem as suas cartas, este pode ser o seu bilhete para um viagem de cura saudável. It’s not an easy decision but it definitely is the one that will help you move on with your life.

As long as you’re following all of your ex’s social network accounts and, even worse- expecting him to call or text you- you cannot make any significant progress.

Remember: if he’s a homem tóxico, he will probably never leave you alone- at least, not for good. As long as he has access to you, he’ll be using his privileges.

By not blocking him, you’re indirectly showing him that you’re perfectly okay with him marching in and out of your life.

You’re showing him that you don’t mind his presence.

RELACIONADO: Ele bloqueou-me: O que é que isso significa e o que fazer em relação a isso

Fora da vista, fora da mente

Ter um ex-namorado (ou ex-namorada) so virtually close at any given moment creates an uneasy and anxiety-ridden environment in which it’s difficult to thrive.

How does one handle being one click away from their ex’s life while expected to not sneak a peek?

Como é que se sobreviver ao desgosto e ultrapassar o processo de cura, sabendo ao mesmo tempo que estão desesperados para ver o que o seu ex está a fazer e estando tão perto de o descobrir?

Estou a perceber. Querer um ex voltar é uma coisa completamente natural.

You’ve spent such a huge chunk of life together and now he’s just cut out from your life as if he never made a dent in it.

Mas ter um ex nas suas contas das redes sociais é uma situação complicada e, por vezes, bloqueá-lo é a melhor maneira de o fazer.

But how do you know for sure? You’ve got so much history together.

You’ve gone through monumental changes with each other and he was the one by your side when you were scared of reaching out to anyone else.

And now, he’s just gone. The thought of not being with him is almost as gut-churning as seeing him happy on his contas nas redes sociais.

What if you see him with another girl? You couldn’t possibly handle it.

But at the same time, is not knowing what he’s up to even worse? Right now, this seems like a real nightmare.

The man who used to be your rock is now but a distant memory you’re desperately trying to rid yourself of.

Only you’re not sure if you should go through with it because the repercussions might be more than you can handle…

Provar um ponto de vista

Another argument on the blocking side is showing this guy that you’re serious about not getting back together with him.

You’re perfectly fine with the two of you breaking up. You can’t stand looking at him, let alone hearing from him. You see your past relationship as a chapter that has reached its end.

In fact, it’s even possible that you already have a new partner. So, you want your ex out of your life and out of your phone.

Let’s get one thing straight: putting the last nail in his coffin shouldn’t be your primary motive for blocking him. If you’re doing it, you’re doing it because of yourself.

Nevertheless, why wouldn’t you see this as some extra bonus? You finally threw him out of your life and additionally, he is very well aware that pode viver sem eles.

Basically, it’s a win-win situation.

Why You Shouldn’t Do It?

Let me tell you this- the worst thing you can do is be indecisive. You know exactly what I’m talking about- about blocking and unblocking this guy all the time.

That way, you’re making yourself a fool. You’re showing him that you know that getting a second chance is the worst idea ever (that’s when you block him) but you miss him too much to really go cold turkey (that’s when you unblock him).

This type of behavior makes you look immature. It’s a clear indicator that you’re struggling with the breakup and that you’re not strong enough to really cut your ex off.

So if you think this is what you’ll be doing after you block him for the first time, don’t! It’s better to keep on giving him full access than doing things halfway.

Uma vez tomada esta grande decisão, ela deve ser definitiva e não pode voltar atrás.

Decisão final

Before I give you the answer to the question “Should I block my ex”, let me tell you that always carries a certain weight and it’s not something to do while angry or overly emotional. Just try to imagine how would you feel se o teu ex te bloqueia…

Quero que tenhas em atenção o efeito que esta mudança pode ter nele, em ti e no teu próprio crescimento pessoal.

Clicar em deixar de seguir é tão fácil, mas acordar no dia seguinte e não ver as suas histórias no Instagram e perceber que deixar de ser amigo dele vai afetar a sua vida de uma forma fantástica é um jogo completamente diferente.

If you think that blocking your ex on social media might be a bad idea and you’re having second thoughts, I’m here to offer some reasonable reasoning behind your actions to make the process easier.

If you think there might come a time when you’ll want o teu ex de volta, it’s all the more reason to educate yourself on all the possible scenarios and not rush this decision.

Reacting out of anger, fear or frustration is the best way to make a wrong decision that’s only going to make you feel good for about two seconds.

And after that, you’ll feel overwhelming sensations of regret, anger, and dissatisfaction with your decision that will haunt you for a long time.

Uma vez bloqueei o meu marido (há muito, muito tempo) quando estávamos temporariamente separados e eu estava com um novo parceiro.

Durante esse período de tempo, os meus olhos abriram-se verdadeiramente para algumas verdades maiores, e aqui estão algumas coisas úteis de que me apercebi e que me ajudaram a seguir em frente e a encontrar o meu encerramento.

Ver também: Como viver em paz e harmonia com a ajuda destes 5 passos

Through His Perspective…

Before getting to the part which will help you evaluate whether or not you should block your ex, here’s where we’ll start.

Eu quero acompanhá-lo seu cabeça and his thought process upon seeing he’s been blocked.

You obviously know what you’re doing and why you’re doing it (or you’re minutes away from finding out below) but he doesn’t.

He’ll see this act as something that it probably isn’t and will therefore arrive at certain conclusions which will make it improvável que recupere o seu ex.

Já se preparou para as possíveis consequências? Tem a mínima ideia do que pode acontecer se bloquear o seu ex?

Here are some of the things he’s likely to think after having been blocked.

Pode fazer com que pareça amargo e ressentido

Your ex doesn’t have firsthand knowledge of what’s happening inside your head so he isn’t privy to your reasoning for such actions.

Desta forma, ele pode entender isso como um sinal da sua amargura.

Querendo-o de volta

E se alguma vez quiser que o seu ex volte, ser amargo é a forma errada de o fazer.

In his eyes, after you unfollow (or block) him, you’re likely to appear resentful and hurt about how things played out and therefore still very much hooked on him.

Ele pode até exagerar na sua mente para aumentar o seu ego e fazer-se passar por uma influência tão forte nas suas decisões.

É esta a mensagem que lhe quer enviar? É assim que queres ser retratada aos olhos dele?

Social media platforms are a huge part of our lives these days and therefore, he’ll definitely have a strong opinion about this.

Deciding to unfollow him all the while knowing you’re likely to want o teu ex de volta um dia não é a decisão mais inteligente.

Tens a certeza de que pensaste bem nisto?

Acabou-se com ele

On the other hand, if you’re over with this guy for good, why would you care what he thinks? He might see it as your revenge or game at first but once he realizes that you have no intention of unblocking him, he’ll see the truth.

Sooner or later, he’ll understand that you blocked him just to get rid of him. And that’s when he’ll realize what he’s lost. Of course, it will be too late then to get back into your life since you’ll be all healed.

Estás a tentar esconder alguma coisa?

Esta pergunta também vai surgir na cabeça dele. Está a tentar esconder-lhe uma nova relação?

What’s next… Changing your phone number and never texting him again, just like that?

Have you told your mutual friends not to share any of your personal info with him? If not, it’s likely that he’ll do whatever he can to get a hold of your social network profiles.

He’ll want to see what you’re posting at all costs. Suddenly, this guy will become more interesting in your whereabouts than he’s ever been before.

In that case, it’s better to unfriend his friends as well- or at least, to hide your stories from them.

Last week you were his best friend and so close to him becoming your fiance and today, you’re realizing you were in a broken relationship and last week was the last time you would call him o amor da minha vida…

Is this how it’s going to be now? Hiding from each other and him not even being able to see your profile picture anymore?

Who knows what’s going on and he sure as hell will picture the worst possible scenario. How is he supposed to know any better?

Se quiser ter o seu ex de volta (em algum momento no futuro), talvez deva reconsiderar a hipótese de o bloquear nas redes sociais.

It’s a strong message and it’ll hurt your chances of reconciliation.

Ver também: 7 sinais de uma esposa emocionalmente distante e por que ela se tornou assim

You’re not handling the break-up well

You probably have your own reasons why you should block your ex but he’ll see what he wants to see.

In his head, it’ll seem as if you’re struggling with coping with the break-up.

You’re not doing well and the thought of seeing him on social media every day gives you anxiety.

Isto dá-lhe todo o poder. Na sua mente, ele ganha a separação.

He’ll feel sorry for you and that way, you’re highly unlikely to be seen as hot and attractive to him again.

He’ll pity you and see you like this rapariga quebrada but he’ll never want to take you back.

This way, he won’t see clearly what he’s losing and whatever you thought you had going for you will be amiss.

O desgosto não é embaraçoso

But please, have one thing in mind: your reaction is completely normal. You’ve loved this guy and he was the center of your world for a long period of time.

It would be weird if you are utterly indifferent about losing him. You’re not a robot- you’re a human being. Therefore, it’s natural that you’re not okay with looking at photos with him with some other girl.

What I’m trying to tell you is not to be discouraged by his thoughts. Don’t keep on hurting yourself and don’t choose not to block him just because it would give him proof that you’re hurt.

Estar de coração partido is nothing to be ashamed of. Let him “win”. Actually, the point is that you’re done competing.

Quer seguir em frente com a vossa vida sem se preocuparem com quem fez o quê primeiro e quem fez o corte final. E esta é a maneira de o fazer.

You’re playing mind games

And he’s simply not having it. This makes you seem completely fake and desperate. Who resorts to this type of thing? Only the weak and defeated.

At least, this is what he thinks. But hey, you know the truth very well and that’s all that matters.

The fact is that he’s probably comforting himself by acting like you’re the bad guy of the story.

It’s easier for him to put all the blame on you and to think that you’re into some toxic games than to rethink his actions and understand why you blocked him in the first place.

Por isso, deixa-o pensar o que quiser. A última coisa que deves fazer é explicar-te a este tipo.

You don’t owe him anything anymore- remember that.

Ver também: É assim que se deixa de sentir inveja de uma rapariga mais bonita

You’re being childish

If you appear childish and immature, he’s unlikely to get back in touch with you because seeing you like this will push him away.

Ele quer ver um rapariga forte que se sabe recompor e preservar a sua dignidade durante todo o processo, e não uma criança imatura que recorre a golpes baixos e tenta vingar-se do seu ex das formas mais doentias.

This may not be the case but he’ll see it this way.

And if you’re also ignorar as suas mensagens de texto e telefonemas, tendo deixado de o seguir nas redes sociais, que mais é suposto ele pensar?

You’re off-limits to him and if he wanted to talk to you about this, he literally has no platform to do so.

This is why blocking people shouldn’t be a rash decision. You should think it through and weigh up the pros and cons.

Only after being at peace with this decision, knowing you’re doing it for a higher purpose, should you actually go through with it.

O seu crescimento pessoal e os seus cuidados pessoais são as suas principais prioridades.

Through Your Perspective…

Now you’ve seen how this whole thing is likely to play out in his eyes, as you’ve probably noticed, it’s not pretty. 

He’ll see it how he chooses to see it and unless you have a conversation about it with him beforehand, things could go off the rails and you’ll never get your ex back- if that is something you want to do.

But now, it’s time to bring the focus back onto tu. Agora tens de fazer a ti próprio algumas perguntas difíceis e procurar dentro da tua alma.

Now is the time where you finally realize what you’re about to do and why you’ve chosen this route.

Está a fazer isto para criar um muro entre si e o seu ex-namorado ou há uma parte de si que ainda tem esperança de recuperar o seu ex?

If so, it’s really crucial to ask yourself the following questions before choosing to block him on social media for good.

Ver também: Sexo com amigos? Os 10 maiores segredos que ninguém lhe vai contar

Qual é o seu principal objetivo?

This is the first thing you should ask yourself and here’s why. During break-ups and heartbreaks, one often forgets to nourish oneself and take care of what they need at this time.

And I assume this might be the case with you too. In all of this conundrum, you’re likely to have forgotten about yourself, your needs, and your wants.

O que é que o seu coração deseja neste momento? O que é que a sua cabeça lhe está a tentar dizer?

Ouça-o e dê-se ao luxo de o fazer, seja ele qual for. Neste momento, deveria estar a sua primeira escolha.

This part of your journey should never be about him. It’s all about you and being your own best friend.

A sua intenção é excluir o seu ex da sua vida e concentrar-se num novo futuro em que ele não a influencie? Este é o primeiro passo na sua jornada para seguir em frente?

Quer cortar todos os laços com o seu passado para poder desfrutar do seu presente e dar um salto para o seu futuro? É você que está a virar uma nova página?

Or do you want to seek reconciliation at some point and by blocking him, you’re merely trying to get his attention (in the worst way imaginable) and make him see what he’s losing?

É esta a sua técnica de manipulação? Está a ignorando-o para chamar a sua atenção? Estão a jogar jogos?

What is your main focus right now? Your ex or finding yourself again? Look- I’m no Judge Judy- I just want you to be dead honest towards yourself so you’re able to make the right call.

Será que bloquear o seu ex pode aproximá-lo de uma conclusão?

O que é que pretende alcançar ao bloqueá-lo nas redes sociais?

Procura compreender o que se passou entre os dois e precisa de espaço para perceber tudo?

Deseja criar uma separação muito necessária dessa parte da sua vida para se concentrar em encerrar este capítulo?

Those should be your main goals—what you need, as opposed to what his reaction will be.

Deixar de o seguir deve trazer-lhe paz e calma, em vez de a fazer enlouquecer por não ver as plataformas das redes sociais dele.

Será que isto lhe vai dar uma conclusão? Será capaz de encontrar consolo depois de o ter bloqueado e de seguir em frente para bem do seu próprio bem-estar?

Será que vai conseguir entrar em contacto com a rapariga que já foi mas que já não vê ao espelho?

Se bloqueá-lo vos faz ganhar mais do que perder, então, por favor, façam-no.

But if the distance and the not knowing what he’s up to will keep nagging at you, perhaps this is not the best solution.

Ver também: 8 problemas de relacionamentos à distância (e como fazê-los funcionar)

Está a tentar enviar-lhe uma mensagem bloqueando-o?

Está a tentar ser preventiva, bloqueando-o porque acha que ele pode fazê-lo primeiro?

Está a guardar rancor porque he still hasn’t answered your text message so you hope that by blocking him you’ll let him know how pissed you are?

Are you indirectly (and not-so-subtly) sending him some kind of message? If so, that’s the worst reason to do this.

Never act out of anger or desperation. You’re guaranteed to regret it in the future.

Your best solution here is to be honest and direct with your ex. If you want to let him know about how you’re feeling right now, pick up the phone and call him.

If you’re too sensitive and don’t want to hear his voice, send him a text message. Directness is always the best choice.

Don’t let him come to his own conclusion simply because your ego is telling you to act this way.

Sê forte e encara isto de frente. Se precisas que ele ouça alguma coisa, diz-lhe!

Será esta apenas uma solução a curto prazo?

Sometimes, we put up barriers that stand in the way of our happiness and we’re totally oblivious to it.

This could be the cause of your emotional downfall. You’re trying to fix this by making a rash decision that you know isn’t going to provide you with long-term happiness.

You’re likely to wake up the next day and feel resentful about blocking him on all his social media accounts instead of being honest about what you really need.

Queres mesmo bater nessa deixar de seguir botão ou está apenas a tentar colocar um penso rápido numa ferida profunda?

Don’t you think you’ll start wondering what he’s doing and if he’s in a new relationship and this way, you’ll never be able to know?

It will be eating you alive and you’ll have nobody to blame but yourself.

At some point, you’re going to wish to be a part of his life again (not necessarily as his girlfriend) and this will make it extremely difficult.

How do you think you’ll feel afterwards?

Imagine that you’ve actually gone through with it and you’ve finally blocked him.

Right now, you can’t see his feed, not even his profile picture. He’s vanished from your online reality and the damage is done.

Como é que isto o faz sentir? Sente-se em paz e satisfeito?

Consegue ver-se a acordar no dia seguinte e a sentir-se satisfeita com esta decisão? Sente vontade de ver o Instagram dele?

Do you need to check his Twitter to see what he’s been posting about lately?

Estas são todas as perguntas que lhe vão passar pela cabeça depois de o bloquear.

Está preparado para correr o risco de não se sentir realizado com esta decisão?

O rescaldo desta situação será algo de extraordinário. E deves estar preparado para a montanha-russa emocional que poderás atravessar.

This is what it’s all about. Blocking your ex might give you the perspective you’re lacking right now and even if you learn to regret it, at least you’ll know for sure.

There’s no right or wrong answer here. Just you and your gut feeling.

Ver também: Como acabar com um caso com integridade e ajudá-lo a sair para sempre

Devo bloquear o meu ex durante a ausência de contacto?

If you know that you won’t resist the urge to call or text your ex, the best choice is to block them. I mean, what’s the point of the período sem contacto if you’ll spend it stalking their accounts or even worse- talking to them every now and then.

But before you make this decision, please be honest about why you’re going no contact.

Será esta uma forma de recuperar o seu ex-parceiro? Queres que ele começar a sentir a tua falta and see what they’ve lost?

In that case, it would be best to ignore them without actually blocking them. Yes, I know what you must be thinking right now: if they want to revive your past relationship, they’ll find a way to reach out to you.

And you’re not wrong. Nevertheless, is your ex the kind of person who will send love letters to your home address or contact your friends just to get a hold of you?

Or is it more possible that they will see you blocking them as a big sign that you two are really over? Will they just accept your “no” as a final decision without pursuing you any further?

On the other hand, the situation is quite different if you’re cutting all possible ties because you really want to move on. In that case, unfriend or block them the moment your relationship ends.

É imaturo bloquear o seu ex?

Blocking your ex as a way of getting even or as a part of your mind games is, without doubt, childish and unnecessary. Nevertheless, if you’re thinking about blocking your ex’s number to save yourself and your mental health- there is nothing immature about that.

In the first case, you’re being toxic. Whether you admit it or not, you’re just doing it to break their heart and to play with them a bit longer.

But in the other case, you’re just putting your sanity in the first place. If you have a hard time telling them “no” (but you know they’ll try to pull your heartstrings), see blocking them as a programa de auto-cuidado.

It’s just a way to heal your coração partido mais depressa e isso é, de facto, a coisa mais madura que se pode fazer.

É melhor bloquear ou ignorar um ex?

This question doesn’t have a universal answer because it all depends on your specific situation. If you can deal with looking at your ex’s posts and photos all over your social networks- then it’s always better to ignore them.

The same goes for the ex who won’t disturb you in any way- there is no need to block them on WhatsApp or on any social media.

On the other hand, if you’re dealing with an ex who keeps showing up in your life or even worse, with an ex abusivo quem está sempre a incomodar - bloquear essa pessoa é a melhor opção.

Of course, you always have to be 100% honest with yourself to make the right decision. If you’re secretly hoping to get a second chance with your ex, ignoring them beats blocking them.

Bloquear o meu ex vai ajudar-me a seguir em frente?

“Out of sight, out of mind”. Not seeing your ex’s phone number on your display, not stumbling upon their photos all over social networks, and not knowing what they’ve been up to certainly will help you get over them.

You can’t expect to move on with your life, as long as you’re stalking their online status, their followers, and their stories. Even though you two broke up, you’re still involved in their life and that won’t bring you any good.

Por conseguinte, o facto de se deixar de lado com eles ajudá-lo-á a compreender que it’s really over. Sim, no início, será doloroso.

It will deprive you of a false sense of security. Your ex might not be physically present in your life. But they’re present on your phone and that’s better than anything, right?

What you need is a fresh start. You need to start a new life and it’s about time to leave the past in the past.

É indelicado ignorar o seu ex?

If your ex wishes you a happy birthday and you know that a simple reply won’t affect your emotional health- I don’t see a point in ignoring them.

But if they act like you’re still together, negatively impact your progress or a new relationship- there is nothing rude about paying no attention to their attempts to reach out.

Look, you have to make a difference between an ex who says “hi” when you run into them and the one who blows your phone up all the time.

Isto também depende da forma como vocês se separaram. Se não aconteceu nada de muito horrível, não há necessidade de virar a cabeça quando os vir.

This person was a huge part of your life and you should observe them as an old friend you haven’t seen in a while. Chit chat with them, have some small talk and continue with your day as nothing happened.

Mas o que dizer de um ex que continua implorando por uma segunda oportunidade? What about that ex who tries to come back into your life the moment you think you’re over them?

What about the ex who abuses you mentally and emotionally? What about the one who continues sending you good night and good morning texts and wants to talk to you every day, as if you’re still together?

Well, since you’re a polite person with excellent manners, try explaining your point to them. Tell them honestly that you don’t think keeping in touch is a good idea.

Nevertheless, if they continue harassing you this way or another, just ignore them. Sooner or later, they’ll get the message and they’ll give up on you.

O que é que aprendeu?

Esperamos que este artigo o tenha ajudado a tomar uma decisão informada sobre esta questão complicada e que o tenha ajudado a avançar com uma visão clara de todos os cenários possíveis.

Tu vens primeiro

A lição mais importante que espero que retirem daqui é a importância de tu.

Depois de sofrer um desgostoMuitas vezes, passamos ao lado das coisas e, no meio de toda a tristeza, amargura e arrependimento, esquecemo-nos de como cuidar de nós próprios.

Concentramo-nos demasiado no nosso ex e esquecemo-nos de cuidar do nosso próprio bem-estar.

This is your wake-up call. Your reality check is here to let you know that the right decision is the one you can make today and be sure you won’t regret the next day.

Decidir enquanto se debate e está à beira de um esgotamento mental é prejudicial para a sua própria saúde mental.

When feeling so overwhelmed and anxious, it’s best to take a step back and focus on yourself. Not on your ex, not on his social media and not on getting even.

Solução temporária - solução temporária

Fazê-lo. Ajude-se a ser melhor. Depois de o ter feito e de ter chegado a um lugar mais feliz, tome uma decisão que vá de encontro ao seu novo eu.

Don’t bring yourself down just to show your ex something he won’t even see.

Se quiser bloqueá-lo para que ele tenha uma vida limpa e vire uma nova página, faça-o.

Mas se o seu único objetivo é enviar-lhe uma mensagem, talvez esta não seja uma decisão sensata.

Ouça o seu instinto e pense no seu objetivo final. Uma solução temporária trar-lhe-á uma felicidade temporária.

Mas uma decisão bem pensada abrirá caminho para um futuro mais feliz que provavelmente durará muito tempo.

Para terminar

I don’t know if I managed to give you a specific answer to your question “Should I block my ex?”. But that’s the point- nobody can make that decision for you.

I gave you some directions that, I’m sure, helped you a lot. Nevertheless, at the end of the day, you have to be a big girl and hit that button by yourself. Or live with the fact that your ex can reach out whenever he feels like it- it’s up to you.

Think things through, sleep it over and I promise you that you’ll make the right call. I’m rooting for you!