Should I block my ex on social media? Should I block his number as well? I can’t tell you how many times these annoying, pesky questions have rummaged through my mind post-break-up. Indeed, learning how to move on from a relationship is not an easy task.
And I can bet that I’m not the only one. We’ve all been through pretty much the same dilemmas when it comes to people who were such a huge part of our lives.
Is this a desperate move? What if I regret it later on? Will it show him that I still care?
On the second thought, is this the best thing I can do for my mental health and future love life? Will this bring my long wanted inner peace?
I bet these are all the questions going through your head. You’re putting the pros and the cons on a scale but you can’t seem to come up with the answer.
Well, you’ve come to the right person because I’m about to give you all the answers you need- or at least, I’ll help you get to them.
Here, I’m going to discuss what you should consider and ask yourself before blocking your ex and explain how your decision could be perceived by your ex-boyfriend.
Why You Should Do It?
There are multiple reasons in favor of blocking your ex but one beats them all: if you play your cards right, this can be your ticket to a healthy healing journey. It’s not an easy decision but it definitely is the one that will help you move on with your life.
As long as you’re following all of your ex’s social network accounts and, even worse- expecting him to call or text you- you cannot make any significant progress.
Remember: if he’s a toxic man, he will probably never leave you alone- at least, not for good. As long as he has access to you, he’ll be using his privileges.
By not blocking him, you’re indirectly showing him that you’re perfectly okay with him marching in and out of your life.
You’re showing him that you don’t mind his presence.
RELATED: He Blocked Me: What Does It Mean And What To Do About It
Out of sight, out of mind
Having an ex-boyfriend (or ex-girlfriend) so virtually close at any given moment creates an uneasy and anxiety-ridden environment in which it’s difficult to thrive.
How does one handle being one click away from their ex’s life while expected to not sneak a peek?
How does one survive heartbreak and get through the healing process all the while knowing they are desperate to see what their ex is doing and being so close to finding out?
I get it. Wanting an ex back is a completely natural thing.
You’ve spent such a huge chunk of life together and now he’s just cut out from your life as if he never made a dent in it.
But having an ex on your social media accounts presents such a tricky situation and sometimes, blocking them on is the best way to go.
But how do you know for sure? You’ve got so much history together.
You’ve gone through monumental changes with each other and he was the one by your side when you were scared of reaching out to anyone else.
And now, he’s just gone. The thought of not being with him is almost as gut-churning as seeing him happy on his social media accounts.
What if you see him with another girl? You couldn’t possibly handle it.
But at the same time, is not knowing what he’s up to even worse? Right now, this seems like a real nightmare.
The man who used to be your rock is now but a distant memory you’re desperately trying to rid yourself of.
Only you’re not sure if you should go through with it because the repercussions might be more than you can handle…
Proving a point
Another argument on the blocking side is showing this guy that you’re serious about not getting back together with him.
You’re perfectly fine with the two of you breaking up. You can’t stand looking at him, let alone hearing from him. You see your past relationship as a chapter that has reached its end.
In fact, it’s even possible that you already have a new partner. So, you want your ex out of your life and out of your phone.
Let’s get one thing straight: putting the last nail in his coffin shouldn’t be your primary motive for blocking him. If you’re doing it, you’re doing it because of yourself.
Nevertheless, why wouldn’t you see this as some extra bonus? You finally threw him out of your life and additionally, he is very well aware that you can live without them.
Basically, it’s a win-win situation.
Why You Shouldn’t Do It?
Let me tell you this- the worst thing you can do is be indecisive. You know exactly what I’m talking about- about blocking and unblocking this guy all the time.
That way, you’re making yourself a fool. You’re showing him that you know that getting a second chance is the worst idea ever (that’s when you block him) but you miss him too much to really go cold turkey (that’s when you unblock him).
This type of behavior makes you look immature. It’s a clear indicator that you’re struggling with the breakup and that you’re not strong enough to really cut your ex off.
So if you think this is what you’ll be doing after you block him for the first time, don’t! It’s better to keep on giving him full access than doing things halfway.
Once you make this huge decision, it should be final and there is no going back.
Before I give you the answer to the question “Should I block my ex”, let me tell you that always carries a certain weight and it’s not something to do while angry or overly emotional. Just try to imagine how would you feel if your ex blocks you…
I want you to be mindful of the effect this move might have on him, on yourself, and your own personal growth.
Clicking unfollow is so easy but waking up the next day and not seeing his Instagram stories and realizing that unfriending him will affect your life in a great way is a whole other ball game.
If you think that blocking your ex on social media might be a bad idea and you’re having second thoughts, I’m here to offer some reasonable reasoning behind your actions to make the process easier.
If you think there might come a time when you’ll want your ex back, it’s all the more reason to educate yourself on all the possible scenarios and not rush this decision.
Reacting out of anger, fear or frustration is the best way to make a wrong decision that’s only going to make you feel good for about two seconds.
And after that, you’ll feel overwhelming sensations of regret, anger, and dissatisfaction with your decision that will haunt you for a long time.
I once blocked my husband (a long, long time ago) when we were temporarily broken up and I was with a new partner.
During that period of time, my eyes were truly opened to some bigger truths, and here are some helpful things I realized that helped me move forward and find my closure.
See also: How To Live In Peace And Harmony With The Help Of These 5 Steps
Through His Perspective…
Before getting to the part which will help you evaluate whether or not you should block your ex, here’s where we’ll start.
I want to walk you through his head and his thought process upon seeing he’s been blocked.
You obviously know what you’re doing and why you’re doing it (or you’re minutes away from finding out below) but he doesn’t.
He’ll see this act as something that it probably isn’t and will therefore arrive at certain conclusions which will make it unlikely to get your ex back.
Have you prepared yourself for the possible consequences? Do you have the slightest idea what might go down if you block your ex?
Here are some of the things he’s likely to think after having been blocked.
It might make you seem bitter and resentful
Your ex doesn’t have firsthand knowledge of what’s happening inside your head so he isn’t privy to your reasoning for such actions.
This way, he might perceive it as a sign of your bitterness.
Wanting him back
And if you ever want your ex back, being bitter is the wrong way to go.
In his eyes, after you unfollow (or block) him, you’re likely to appear resentful and hurt about how things played out and therefore still very much hooked on him.
He might even exaggerate it in his mind to boost his ego and make himself appear as such a strong influence over your decisions.
Is this the message you wish to send him? Is this how you want to be portrayed in his eyes?
Social media platforms are a huge part of our lives these days and therefore, he’ll definitely have a strong opinion about this.
Deciding to unfollow him all the while knowing you’re likely to want your ex back someday is not the smartest decision.
Are you sure you have thought this through?
Done with him
On the other hand, if you’re over with this guy for good, why would you care what he thinks? He might see it as your revenge or game at first but once he realizes that you have no intention of unblocking him, he’ll see the truth.
Sooner or later, he’ll understand that you blocked him just to get rid of him. And that’s when he’ll realize what he’s lost. Of course, it will be too late then to get back into your life since you’ll be all healed.
Are you trying to hide something?
This question will pop up in his head as well. Are you trying to hide a new relationship from him?
What’s next… Changing your phone number and never texting him again, just like that?
Have you told your mutual friends not to share any of your personal info with him? If not, it’s likely that he’ll do whatever he can to get a hold of your social network profiles.
He’ll want to see what you’re posting at all costs. Suddenly, this guy will become more interesting in your whereabouts than he’s ever been before.
In that case, it’s better to unfriend his friends as well- or at least, to hide your stories from them.
Last week you were his best friend and so close to him becoming your fiance and today, you’re realizing you were in a broken relationship and last week was the last time you would call him the love of my life…
Is this how it’s going to be now? Hiding from each other and him not even being able to see your profile picture anymore?
Who knows what’s going on and he sure as hell will picture the worst possible scenario. How is he supposed to know any better?
If you want to get your ex back (at some point in the future) you might want to reconsider blocking him on social media.
It’s a strong message and it’ll hurt your chances of reconciliation.
See also: 7 Signs Of An Emotionally Distant Wife And Why She Became That Way
You’re not handling the break-up well
You probably have your own reasons why you should block your ex but he’ll see what he wants to see.
In his head, it’ll seem as if you’re struggling with coping with the break-up.
You’re not doing well and the thought of seeing him on social media every day gives you anxiety.
This gives him all the power. In his mind, he wins the break-up.
He’ll feel sorry for you and that way, you’re highly unlikely to be seen as hot and attractive to him again.
He’ll pity you and see you like this broken girl but he’ll never want to take you back.
This way, he won’t see clearly what he’s losing and whatever you thought you had going for you will be amiss.
Heartbreak is not embarrassing
But please, have one thing in mind: your reaction is completely normal. You’ve loved this guy and he was the center of your world for a long period of time.
It would be weird if you are utterly indifferent about losing him. You’re not a robot- you’re a human being. Therefore, it’s natural that you’re not okay with looking at photos with him with some other girl.
What I’m trying to tell you is not to be discouraged by his thoughts. Don’t keep on hurting yourself and don’t choose not to block him just because it would give him proof that you’re hurt.
Being heartbroken is nothing to be ashamed of. Let him “win”. Actually, the point is that you’re done competing.
You want to move on with your life without worrying about who did what first and who made the final cut. And this is the way to do it.
You’re playing mind games
And he’s simply not having it. This makes you seem completely fake and desperate. Who resorts to this type of thing? Only the weak and defeated.
At least, this is what he thinks. But hey, you know the truth very well and that’s all that matters.
The fact is that he’s probably comforting himself by acting like you’re the bad guy of the story.
It’s easier for him to put all the blame on you and to think that you’re into some toxic games than to rethink his actions and understand why you blocked him in the first place.
So, just let him think whatever he wants. The last thing you should do is to explain yourself to this guy.
You don’t owe him anything anymore- remember that.
See also: This Is How You Stop Feeling Jealous Of A Prettier Girl
You’re being childish
If you appear childish and immature, he’s unlikely to get back in touch with you because seeing you like this will push him away.
He wants to see a strong girl who can pick herself up and preserve her dignity throughout the ordeal, not an immature kid who resorts to low blows and tries to get back at her ex in the most unhealthy ways.
This may not be the case but he’ll see it this way.
And if you’re also ignoring his text messages and phone calls while having unfollowed him on social media, what else is he supposed to think?
You’re off-limits to him and if he wanted to talk to you about this, he literally has no platform to do so.
This is why blocking people shouldn’t be a rash decision. You should think it through and weigh up the pros and cons.
Only after being at peace with this decision, knowing you’re doing it for a higher purpose, should you actually go through with it.
Your personal growth and self-care are your top priorities.
Through Your Perspective…
Now you’ve seen how this whole thing is likely to play out in his eyes, as you’ve probably noticed, it’s not pretty.
He’ll see it how he chooses to see it and unless you have a conversation about it with him beforehand, things could go off the rails and you’ll never get your ex back- if that is something you want to do.
But now, it’s time to bring the focus back onto you. Now you have to ask yourself some tough questions and search within your soul.
Now is the time where you finally realize what you’re about to do and why you’ve chosen this route.
Are you doing this to create a wall between you and your ex-boyfriend or is there a part of you that still hopes you can get your ex back?
If so, it’s really crucial to ask yourself the following questions before choosing to block him on social media for good.
See also: Sex With Friends? The 10 Biggest Secrets No One Will Tell You
What is your main focus?
This is the first thing you should ask yourself and here’s why. During break-ups and heartbreaks, one often forgets to nourish oneself and take care of what they need at this time.
And I assume this might be the case with you too. In all of this conundrum, you’re likely to have forgotten about yourself, your needs, and your wants.
What does your heart yearn for right now? What is your head trying to tell you?
Listen to it and indulge yourself no matter what it is. Right now, you should be your own first choice.
This part of your journey should never be about him. It’s all about you and being your own best friend.
Is your intention to cut your ex out of your life and focus on a new future where he does not influence you? Is this the first step on your journey of moving on?
Do you want to cut all ties with your past so you could enjoy your present and take a jump into your future? Is this you turning over a new leaf?
Or do you want to seek reconciliation at some point and by blocking him, you’re merely trying to get his attention (in the worst way imaginable) and make him see what he’s losing?
Is this your manipulation technique? Are you ignoring him to get his attention? Are you playing games?
What is your main focus right now? Your ex or finding yourself again? Look- I’m no Judge Judy- I just want you to be dead honest towards yourself so you’re able to make the right call.
Will blocking your ex bring you closer to closure?
What is it that you aspire to achieve by blocking him on social media?
Do you seek an understanding of what transpired between you two and you need space to figure it all out?
Do you wish to create a much-needed separation from that part of your life to focus on closing that chapter?
Those should be your main goals—what you need, as opposed to what his reaction will be.
Unfollowing him should be all about bringing you peace and calm, instead of making you go mad from not seeing his social media platforms.
Is this going to bring you closure? Will you be able to find solace after blocking him and move on for the sake of your own well-being?
Will you be able to get in touch with the girl you once were but no longer see in the mirror?
If blocking him is going to make you gain more than you lose, then, by all means, do it.
But if the distance and the not knowing what he’s up to will keep nagging at you, perhaps this is not the best solution.
See also: 8 Long-Distance Relationship Problems (And How To Make It Work)
Are you trying to send him a message by blocking him?
Are you trying to be preemptive by blocking him because you feel he might do it first?
Are you holding a grudge because he still hasn’t answered your text message so you hope that by blocking him you’ll let him know how pissed you are?
Are you indirectly (and not-so-subtly) sending him some kind of message? If so, that’s the worst reason to do this.
Never act out of anger or desperation. You’re guaranteed to regret it in the future.
Your best solution here is to be honest and direct with your ex. If you want to let him know about how you’re feeling right now, pick up the phone and call him.
If you’re too sensitive and don’t want to hear his voice, send him a text message. Directness is always the best choice.
Don’t let him come to his own conclusion simply because your ego is telling you to act this way.
Be strong and face this head-on. If you need him to hear something, tell him!
Is this only a short-term fix?
Sometimes, we put up barriers that stand in the way of our happiness and we’re totally oblivious to it.
This could be the cause of your emotional downfall. You’re trying to fix this by making a rash decision that you know isn’t going to provide you with long-term happiness.
You’re likely to wake up the next day and feel resentful about blocking him on all his social media accounts instead of being honest about what you really need.
Do you really want to hit that unfollow button or are you just trying to put a Band-Aid on a deep wound?
Don’t you think you’ll start wondering what he’s doing and if he’s in a new relationship and this way, you’ll never be able to know?
It will be eating you alive and you’ll have nobody to blame but yourself.
At some point, you’re going to wish to be a part of his life again (not necessarily as his girlfriend) and this will make it extremely difficult.
How do you think you’ll feel afterwards?
Imagine that you’ve actually gone through with it and you’ve finally blocked him.
Right now, you can’t see his feed, not even his profile picture. He’s vanished from your online reality and the damage is done.
How does this make you feel? Are you at peace and content?
Can you see yourself waking up the next day and feeling satisfied with this decision? Do you feel the urge to check his Instagram?
Do you need to check his Twitter to see what he’s been posting about lately?
These are all questions that will be running through your mind after blocking him.
Are you prepared to take the risk of possibly not ending up fulfilled by this decision?
The aftermath of this will be something to behold. And you should be prepared for the emotional roller coaster you might go through.
This is what it’s all about. Blocking your ex might give you the perspective you’re lacking right now and even if you learn to regret it, at least you’ll know for sure.
There’s no right or wrong answer here. Just you and your gut feeling.
See also: How To End An Affair With Integrity And Help You Leave For Good
Should I Block My Ex During No Contact?
If you know that you won’t resist the urge to call or text your ex, the best choice is to block them. I mean, what’s the point of the no contact period if you’ll spend it stalking their accounts or even worse- talking to them every now and then.
But before you make this decision, please be honest about why you’re going no contact.
Is this a way to get your ex-partner back? Do you want them to start missing you and see what they’ve lost?
In that case, it would be best to ignore them without actually blocking them. Yes, I know what you must be thinking right now: if they want to revive your past relationship, they’ll find a way to reach out to you.
And you’re not wrong. Nevertheless, is your ex the kind of person who will send love letters to your home address or contact your friends just to get a hold of you?
Or is it more possible that they will see you blocking them as a big sign that you two are really over? Will they just accept your “no” as a final decision without pursuing you any further?
On the other hand, the situation is quite different if you’re cutting all possible ties because you really want to move on. In that case, unfriend or block them the moment your relationship ends.
Is It Immature To Block Your Ex?
Blocking your ex as a way of getting even or as a part of your mind games is, without doubt, childish and unnecessary. Nevertheless, if you’re thinking about blocking your ex’s number to save yourself and your mental health- there is nothing immature about that.
In the first case, you’re being toxic. Whether you admit it or not, you’re just doing it to break their heart and to play with them a bit longer.
But in the other case, you’re just putting your sanity in the first place. If you have a hard time telling them “no” (but you know they’ll try to pull your heartstrings), see blocking them as a self-care program.
It’s just a way to heal your broken heart faster and that is actually the most mature thing you can ever do.
Is It Better To Block Or Ignore An Ex?
This question doesn’t have a universal answer because it all depends on your specific situation. If you can deal with looking at your ex’s posts and photos all over your social networks- then it’s always better to ignore them.
The same goes for the ex who won’t disturb you in any way- there is no need to block them on WhatsApp or on any social media.
On the other hand, if you’re dealing with an ex who keeps showing up in your life or even worse, with an abusive ex who is bothering you all the time- blocking them is the way to go.
Of course, you always have to be 100% honest with yourself to make the right decision. If you’re secretly hoping to get a second chance with your ex, ignoring them beats blocking them.
Will Blocking My Ex Help Me Move On?
“Out of sight, out of mind”. Not seeing your ex’s phone number on your display, not stumbling upon their photos all over social networks, and not knowing what they’ve been up to certainly will help you get over them.
You can’t expect to move on with your life, as long as you’re stalking their online status, their followers, and their stories. Even though you two broke up, you’re still involved in their life and that won’t bring you any good.
Therefore, going cold turkey with them will help you understand that it’s really over. Yes, at first, it will be painful.
It will deprive you of a false sense of security. Your ex might not be physically present in your life. But they’re present on your phone and that’s better than anything, right?
What you need is a fresh start. You need to start a new life and it’s about time to leave the past in the past.
Is It Rude To Ignore Your Ex?
If your ex wishes you a happy birthday and you know that a simple reply won’t affect your emotional health- I don’t see a point in ignoring them.
But if they act like you’re still together, negatively impact your progress or a new relationship- there is nothing rude about paying no attention to their attempts to reach out.
Look, you have to make a difference between an ex who says “hi” when you run into them and the one who blows your phone up all the time.
This also depends on the way you two broke up. If nothing too horrible happened, there is no need to turn your head when you see them.
This person was a huge part of your life and you should observe them as an old friend you haven’t seen in a while. Chit chat with them, have some small talk and continue with your day as nothing happened.
But what about an ex who keeps on begging for a second chance? What about that ex who tries to come back into your life the moment you think you’re over them?
What about the ex who abuses you mentally and emotionally? What about the one who continues sending you good night and good morning texts and wants to talk to you every day, as if you’re still together?
Well, since you’re a polite person with excellent manners, try explaining your point to them. Tell them honestly that you don’t think keeping in touch is a good idea.
Nevertheless, if they continue harassing you this way or another, just ignore them. Sooner or later, they’ll get the message and they’ll give up on you.
What Have You Learned?
Hopefully, this article helped you make an educated decision on this tricky matter and helped you move forward with a clear vision of all the possible scenarios.
You come first
The most important takeaway I personally hope you have from this is the importance of you.
After suffering heartbreak, we often go through the motions and amidst all the sadness, bitterness, and regret, we forget about how to take care of ourself.
We get too focused on our ex and forget to nurture our own well-being.
This is your wake-up call. Your reality check is here to let you know that the right decision is the one you can make today and be sure you won’t regret the next day.
Deciding while struggling and on the verge of a mental breakdown is detrimental to your own mental health.
When feeling so overwhelmed and anxious, it’s best to take a step back and focus on yourself. Not on your ex, not on his social media and not on getting even.
Temporary solution- temporary fix
Do you. Help yourself be better. After having done that and gotten to a happier place, make a decision that is going to go hand in hand with the new you.
Don’t bring yourself down just to show your ex something he won’t even see.
If you want to block him to have a clean slate and turn a new page, by all means, go ahead and do it.
But if your only goal is to send him a message, perhaps this is not a wise decision after all.
Listen to your gut feeling and think about your end goal. A temporary solution will bring you temporary happiness.
But a well-thought-out decision will pave a path toward a happier future that is likely to last a long time.
To Wrap Up
I don’t know if I managed to give you a specific answer to your question “Should I block my ex?”. But that’s the point- nobody can make that decision for you.
I gave you some directions that, I’m sure, helped you a lot. Nevertheless, at the end of the day, you have to be a big girl and hit that button by yourself. Or live with the fact that your ex can reach out whenever he feels like it- it’s up to you.
Think things through, sleep it over and I promise you that you’ll make the right call. I’m rooting for you!