Nenhuma resposta é uma resposta (e é uma resposta poderosa)

Se alguém me tivesse dito antes que nenhuma resposta é uma resposta, a minha vida seria dez vezes mais fácil e sem dramas, mas acho que aprender com os nossos erros é o melhor método de ensino.

Agora, quero que sejas honesto comigo.

• Quantas vezes já consultou o seu telemóvel enquanto esperava que aquela pessoa respondesse?
• Quantas vezes falaste com alguém cara a cara e esperou pela sua resposta, apenas para se aperceber que não passava de uma perda de tempo?
• Quantos mensagens de texto já enviou uma mensagem na esperança de que desta vez eles respondam? Um texto, dois textos, muitos acompanhamento questions … still sem resposta.
• Quantas vezes voltou a fazer as mesmas perguntas sem obter uma única palavra, letra ou explicação? Aposto que demasiadas vezes.

Too many times have you thought that not getting a response meant you’ve done something wrong, right? That you perhaps haven’t been clear enough, that you asked too much, or that you haven’t thought about how they really feel about the matter.

Já se culpou demasiadas vezes por não saber fazer as perguntas certas para obter as respostas certas.

But, the truth is that it wasn’t your fault. You were asking the right questions, and all you got in return was no response.

Or was it so? Perhaps they were answering you all this time, but you simply didn’t listen or couldn’t see it.

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Perhaps they were giving you clues that told you how they really feel, but you didn’t want to believe it. You didn’t want to ouvir o seu instinto dizendo-te que durante todo este tempo tinhas todas as respostas à tua frente.

A ausência de resposta é uma rejeição?

No response doesn’t mean rejection. The absence of a reply is not the same thing as rejection but it still carries a powerful message.

Só porque haven’t received a text or heard a word from them, this doesn’t mean that you haven’t been sent the message (especially if bloquearam-no). 

Lack of response is a powerful response that tells you a lot about a person’s life, their perspective on things, and their intention.

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Every time a person refuses to utter a single word or write a single letter, they send you a message that they’re not willing to make you a part of their life, not willing to reciprocate, and don’t give a damn how you feel about it.

Sempre que uma pessoa se recusa a pronunciar uma palavra ou a escrever uma carta, decide deliberadamente deixar-te esperar in case they change their mind and realize that they should’ve answered you while they could.

Sempre que uma pessoa se recusa a responder, decide guardar para si todas as palavras não ditas.

It’s obvious that they’re not willing to share their thoughts with you.

E não estar disposto a partilhar os seus pensamentos com alguém significa não estar disposto a torná-lo parte da sua vida. Esta é a lição mais valiosa que aprendi no ano passado.

But, you couldn’t know that when you were looking the person in the eye, or when you were holding your phone filled with hope and excitement that you’ll get a response.

When you thought that you should wait just a little longer or give them another chance because there must be a reason why they haven’t responded yet.

Quando algo assim acontece, um milhão e um de perguntas começam imediatamente a passar pela nossa cabeça. Uma delas é a seguinte:

Deve voltar a enviar mensagens depois de não ter recebido resposta?

The answer is simple here. If you’ve texted them twice or more than that in the past few days and still haven’t received a response, do yourself a favor and put the phone down. Don’t text again until they text you back.

I understand that no matter how many times you repeat the above sentence, it still doesn’t make sense to you because the irrational part of your brain prevails.

When you really care about receiving someone’s reply, you unquestionably inventar desculpas for their lack of response because back then you didn’t know that by saying nothing, they are actually saying a lot.

All you could hear was that little voice in your head reminding you of that one sentence: “Tenho saudades tuas.”

All you could do was hope that they’d realize their mistake and finally open their eyes to see what you were trying to tell them all this time. But, they didn’t. Instead, they said and wrote nothing.

E nenhuma resposta é uma resposta. Não responder significa, antes de mais, falta de interesse e falta de vontade. De facto, o silêncio é a melhor resposta.

Porque o silêncio diz mil palavras!

Silence tells us what words cannot. Just like a picture, silence speaks a thousand words – all we need to do is listen to it.

Em vez de procurar respostas visíveis, é preciso aprender a ouvir o som do silêncio!

Porque nenhuma resposta é uma resposta!

Silence means that they’re cowards who didn’t want to hurt your feelings by saying what they really wanted to say!

If there’s one thing I’ve learned during my humble life, it’s this: A honestidade é um presente caro que não se pode esperar de pessoas baratas.

Being honest means sharing important things with the person you care (or don’t care) about. It means having the dignity to say what you really mean and spare the person of unnecessary overthinking and drama.

Them deciding to stay silent instead of being a responder tells you that they don’t have the guts to say what they really want to stay. They don’t have the guts to deal with hurtful things and emotions because you are not on their priority list.

The reason why they choose to do so is that they don’t want to hurt your feelings, but in reality, they are hurting you ten times more by not saying anything.

E, ao mesmo tempo, estão a dizer-nos dez vezes mais ao não dizerem nada.

Em vez de continuar a telefonar e a enviar mensagens de texto, a esperar mensagens de voz, ou a persegui-los nas redes sociais e nas suas publicações recentes, basta apreciar o som do silêncio e, garanto-lhe, aprenderá muito com isso.

Silêncio significa ignorar!

Whenever someone decides not to respond, they deliberately decide to ignore. While you might feel like they’re ignoring you, in reality they’re ignoring the truth that they are cowards.

In reality, they’re telling you that you’re not worthy of their time and that’s why they don’t bother responding.

O silêncio significa ignorar e ignorar significa playing with someone else’s mental healthsaúde física e felicidade. E ninguém no mundo merece sentir-se assim.

No one deserves for their well-being to be influenced by another’s decision to respond.

No response is a response. No response lets you know that they’re not willing to make you their priority or tell you what’s really going on in their life.

E em vez de procurar cegamente desculpas que justifiquem o seu comportamento, basta criar uma pasta de spam e dar-lhe um nome: Pessoas que não merecem estar na minha vida.

They aren’t interested in fazer de si a sua prioridade!

A lot of times, I witnessed people believing that if they try harder, they might catch the other person’s attention and somehow magically win their heart and make them respond – make them reciprocate.

Eles pensam: “They don’t text me back because I’m não é suficientemente bom. I need to try harder.”

Mas isso não é de todo verdade. O facto de não responderem significa apenas uma coisa: que não estão interessados em fazer de si a sua prioridade.

Their silence doesn’t imply that there’s something wrong with you. It indicates that it’s not the right time, they don’t feel attraction toward you, or they simply aren’t interested for some reason.

And this reason is not you. No response doesn’t mean that you don’t deserve attention and you’re not worthy of loved one’s and other people’s time.

No response means that they don’t deserve your attention because they’re not appreciating it enough.

What do you say when someone doesn’t reply?

You don’t texto duplo them. You don’t send them a sarcastic text only to make them laugh and motivate them to text you back. You don’t go out of your way to win their attention. Instead, you focus on yourself.

You don’t say anything to them but you say to yourself the following things:

• I’m worthy.
• I’m superior to negative thoughts and low actions.
• Perdoo as pessoas tóxicas e separo-me delas pacificamente.
• Sou corajoso e defendo-me a mim próprio.
• I don’t waste my time on those who are not worthy of being in my life.
• Estou em paz com tudo o que aconteceu, está a acontecer e vai acontecer.
• I’m the creator of my own happiness.

So, instead of waiting or blaming yourself, listen to the sound of silence telling you that it’s time to move on and give up on fighting for something that simply wasn’t meant to be.

Instead of thinking there’s something wrong with you, you need to gather courage and think about what you really deserve.

Achas que mereces uma pessoa que não está pronta ou que não está disposta a ligar-te ou a responder-te a uma mensagem?

Do you think you deserve to suffer because you don’t deserve better? Think again. And listen to the sound of silence again.

Porque mereces ser grande e muito mais. Esperar que eles respondam é o sinal máximo da sua paciência, generosidade e grande coração. E de certeza que merece o mesmo em troca.

Merece alguém que seja capaz de reparar em todas estas coisas e que esteja pronto para fazer um esforço to respond. To remind you that they’re thinking of you even when they’re in the middle of a hurricane.

Mereces alguém que aprecie a tua paciência, o teu sacrifício e todas as pequenas coisas que fazes porque te preocupas. Muito. E mereces que cuidem de ti em troca.

O silêncio é a ausência de investimento e de reciprocidade!

O silêncio é um dos potenciais assassinos de qualquer relação and friendship. It’s when you look your partner in the eyes and tell them how you feel, expecting the same thing in return, but all you get is no response.

Tudo o que se obtém é aquele silêncio torturante que nos recorda todos os momentos de alegria que tivemos ou poderíamos ter. O silêncio é a ausência de investimento e de reciprocidade.

It takes only a few seconds to tell the other person how you really feel and what’s really going on, so when you can’t find time to do it, you’re clearly taking them for granted.

You’re deliberately deciding to invest your time in other things that mean more to you than this person’s feelings.

Nenhuma resposta é uma resposta, uma resposta poderosa.

By not responding, they are sending you a message that they’re not willing to invest in your relationship.

Their silence is sending you a message that you shouldn’t wait for them to change. Instead, you should run for your life and never look back!

It’s hard to maintain a relationship when you’re the only one trying, talking, and texting. It’s hard to be there for someone who isn’t even trying to be there for you.

And that’s why you shouldn’t do it either.

Em vez de esperar que algo mude, deve ser você a mudar. A opção de ignorar não está disponível apenas no mundo virtual, mas também na vida real.

You should initiate the change by deciding to open your eyes and realizing that you don’t deserve a “No response” treatment.

Aprender a proteger-se from narcissists and other negative people by practicing self-love. Don’t expect their phone calls, texts, or voicemails because time is the greatest resource you have, and also one of the most limited.

O silêncio significa colocar outra pessoa em espera até uma altura mais conveniente!

Decidir não responder traduz-se em decidir colocar a outra pessoa em espera até chegar uma altura mais conveniente! As razões que levam alguém a querer colocá-lo em espera variam.

Perhaps they’re married, perhaps they’re in a relationship, perhaps they want to widen their horizons (if you catch my drift) and that’s why they’re putting you on hold.

They’re putting you on hold because they don’t want or need you at the moment, but they’re não estou pronto para te perder ou.

They want to make sure that you’ll be there waiting on them when they decide to come back, that you’ll be there when they decide to finally respond.

But, you shouldn’t. If you care about your happiness at all, you should rely on what they’re telling you with their silence instead of their potential words.

What they’re telling you with their silence is that they don’t really care about how you feel. They let you wait just because they know you will.

Põem-no em espera just because they know you will be there when it’s convenient for them.

And the worst thing you could do in that situation is to wait and hope that something will change. Because it won’t!

The longer you’re letting them play with your feelings and tomá-lo por garantido, the longer you’ll feel miserable and unhappy!

Quanto mais tempo esperar pela resposta deles, mais prolonga a sua dor!

The longer you accept their toxic treatment, the more they’ll be hurting you.

So, open your eyes and see the message that’s been right in front of you all this time, but for some reason, you avoided it, didn’t want to accept it, didn’t want to seguir em frente.

Open your eyes for the first time in your life and see that no response is a response, and it’s a powerful one!

Ver também: 7 razões chocantes para perseguirmos aqueles que não podemos ter