If he likes me, why is he still online dating? I don’t think there is a girl in the world of modern dating who hasn’t asked herself this question at least once before.
I know I have.
You know the drill: there is strong chemistry. You like him, and you know he likes you. You’ve been dating for a while, but all of his dating profiles are still active.
According to my experience, here are the most common reasons he behaves like this.
If He Likes Me, Why Is He Still Online Dating?
Check out these reasons and see if your man ticks any of these boxes:
1. Keeping his options open
I hate to burst your bubble right from the start: this man is keeping his online dating profiles open because he is keeping his options open.
I’m not saying he doesn’t like you, but the fact is that he isn’t sure about you.
Does this mean that he’s seeing other girls? Probably yes. I can’t claim this for sure, but he’s definitely texting them. Otherwise, why would he still have all of these dating websites installed?
The harsh truth is that he’s checking to see which girl he likes the most. You’re just one of his choices – not his priority.
If you’re doing the same thing, this shouldn’t bother you too much, especially if you’re in the initial stages of your relationship.
You also need to realize that online dating can be incredibly addicting. The top hookup apps out there are essentially designed to be a game that keeps you coming back for more.
If you don’t check the app for a few days you start getting notifications or emails telling you about all the other women you’re missing out on.
This can be really tough for anyone to ignore. If you’re trying to diet but are constantly bombarded by your Instagram feed full of delicious-looking food you might be tempted to look at a few posts!
However, if you’re not keeping your options open, the last thing you need is a guy who can’t make up his mind about you. By accepting this kind of treatment, you’re settling for less.
After all, what should you do? Patiently sit around and wait for him to pick you?
Compete with all these other girls on his dating apps and try to prove to him that you’re the best? No, not if you have any self-respect.
2. An ego-boost
If he likes me, why is he still online dating? Well, have you ever thought that he’s dealing with some major insecurities, and Bumble, Tinder, OkCupid, Match.com, and other online dating apps serve as an ego boost?
No, this is not me asking you to understand him. You’re a grown woman, and you shouldn’t have to deal with insecure men who have trouble healing their self-esteem in a healthy way.
Let me explain what exactly is going on here. You’re not enough for this guy.
But this doesn’t mean that you, as a person or as a woman, are not enough. Nothing you or anyone else ever does or gives this type of man will ever be enough.
The fact is that he craves attention from a bunch of girls. It doesn’t matter how these women look, behave, or treat him.
If some of them swipe right on Tinder, he’ll think of himself as man enough. He immediately starts feeling better and considers himself more attractive than he actually is.
Does this make him emotionally immature? Most definitely!
I have to warn you that this man has serious trouble with remaining faithful. Yes, that includes serious relationships and marriage as well.
The bottom line is that you don’t need a man like this by your side.
3. An old habit
Let’s not jump to conclusions before checking all options. I’m not here to justify this man, but it’s possible that he isn’t planning to date other women just because he is active on online dating sites.
Well, what you keep on forgetting is that old habits die hard. And for him, this is nothing but a habit.
Yes, the truth is that it’s a habit that affects you badly. But have you ever considered talking to him about it?
Maybe deleting his online dating profiles didn’t even cross his mind. That’s exactly why you should remind him to do so.
But there is something you should pay close attention before deciding whether he’s still on dating apps out of habit or if there is another hidden reason behind it.
Is he spending time on these online dating apps? Or does he just have them installed?
If he doesn’t receive notifications when you two are together, if he doesn’t post new pics, and if he’s always offline (even though he’s online on Messenger or WhatsApp), he’s probably forgotten he’s even got them installed.
4. He’s just bored
Let’s give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that he’s just doing it out of boredom. I know what you must be thinking right now: “How can he be bored if he has me?”
You know how you pointlessly scroll through Facebook, Instagram, and other social media? Truth be told, most of the time, you have no idea what you’re looking at because your mind is somewhere else.
Well, that’s exactly what he’s doing with all of these dating websites.
He’s checking whether he’ll find some of his friends, coworkers, or acquaintances there. No, he won’t ask them on a first date – he will maybe tease them a little. In fact, if he runs into his buddies, he’ll probably even make fun of them, and that’s it.
This is another scenario in which you should be open and tell him that you’re bothered that he is still online dating. If this guy likes you, he’ll delete all of his profiles immediately.
5. He doesn’t trust you
Newsflash: women aren’t the only ones who deal with serious trust issues.
Have you ever tried looking at things from a different perspective? Has it ever crossed your mind that your man is still on dating apps because he’s afraid you’ll hurt him?
LOL, that sounds insane, doesn’t it? Well, the truth is that it makes a lot of sense to him.
He’s actually a great guy, and he’s crazy about you. In fact, he’s so in love with you that it scares him.
So instead of opening up and taking your relationship to the next level, his trust issues are holding him back. The bottom line is that he expects the worst from you.
He is almost sure that you’re going around behind his back, and he is basically trying to beat you to it.
In this case, dating apps serve as a defense mechanism for him. The only way for you to make him delete them is to show him that you’re trustworthy.
6. You misinterpreted his signs
Okay, this one is a tough one, but I’m sorry, it simply has to be said. You’re asking yourself, “If he likes me, why is he still online dating?” But how are you even so sure that he likes you in the first place?
Is it possible that you misinterpreted his signs? You’re into this man – that’s clear. But does he really feel the same way about you?
Did he ever ask you out? If the answer is yes, did you ever make it to the second date?
If you’re not sure whether he’s into you or not, there is no shame in asking him directly. Tell him that he’s been sending you mixed signals and that you have no clue if he’s just being nice or if he likes you for real.
Even if he gives you an answer you don’t want to hear, at least you’ll know where you stand. It’s much better than leading yourself on.
7. He perceives your relationship differently
You’re craving a committed relationship. But does the guy you like feel the same way?
You enrich his sex life, but he’s not ready to take your relationship to the next level. Yes, he should have been clearer about it, but if you look at his signals close enough, you’ll see that his actions speak louder than words.
This man isn’t interested in an exclusive relationship. When you come to think about it, he never promised you anything – you jumped to conclusions by yourself.
He never talked about labeling your relationship, and even when you try tackling that topic, he avoids it at all costs.
Whenever you two meet up, he only cares about one thing: physical pleasure. I hate to break it to you, but you’re probably nothing but a booty call.
And there would be nothing wrong with that – if you wanted the same. But the problem is that you two clearly have different aspirations.
He’s obviously a player and not the type of man you’re looking for.
If he likes me, why is he still online dating? Another possibility is that, sadly, you’re dealing with a commitment-phobe.
This man is quite different from a player. He doesn’t have any intention of jumping from one hook-up to another. Keeping his sex life spicy is not his number one priority.
However, he is not boyfriend material either. This guy is scared of serious relationships.
He was probably hurt in the past, or he just values his independence. He’s emotionally unavailable.
The moment he starts falling in love, he tries to run away.
And that’s exactly what happened with you. He’s fallen head over heels for you.
But he is not ready to admit that to himself just yet.
So, he is still active on dating apps just to prove a point to himself. He won’t ask any of these girls on a first date, let alone initiate something more with them.
Online dating sites keep him convinced that he is a single man and that you haven’t succeeded in caging him!
9. He prefers online life over real life
Modern dating wouldn’t exist without social media, dating sites, and platforms. And yes, looking from one point of view, they really do make dating a lot easier.
However, some people get so wrapped up in an online world that they lose the ability to function in real life. If your guy is one of these men, I hate to break it to you, but he will never delete his dating apps.
He’s addicted to online dating, and he won’t heal from it overnight. He’s not interested in going out or hanging out with his friends to meet new people.
He’s replaced clubs, restaurants, hobbies, and his entire social life with the online world. You don’t have to worry about him cheating when he goes out, but you definitely should be worried about the girls on his phone!
What To Do About It?
Now that you got the answer to the question, “If he likes me, why is he still online dating?” it’s time to do something about your problem!
1. Figure out what you want
Before you act on this issue, you have to know what it is that you want. Why are you actually bothered by your man’s online activities?
Are you scared that he’ll date other women? Are you jealous because you care about him or because his behavior hurts your ego?
Do you want a committed relationship, or are you okay with hookups?
Maybe you want to keep your options open as well. Maybe you’re not sure whether he’s the one you should settle with. In that case, you’re both on the same page, and there is absolutely no problem.
Nevertheless, if you want something more, you should follow the next steps.
2. Do you have the right to complain?
You won’t like this, but you have to ask yourself if you have the right to complain before actually complaining. But please, forget about your desires here and look at your relationship as realistically as possible.
As much as you’d like to, you can’t sleep with a guy once and call him the next day demanding exclusivity and asking him to delete Tinder or any other dating website he is on.
I’m not saying that you should wait ages before you do so, but you have to ask yourself if he’s given you any reason to think that he likes you for real.
3. Talk to him directly
Once you’ve established this, it’s time to talk to him straightforwardly. Look, your man is not a mind reader.
I know you’d want him to delete these apps by himself, but honey, most men don’t work like that. Sometimes, they need to be explicitly told what is expected of them.
That is why you have to tell him how you feel. Tell him that his apps make you feel insecure and that you feel like he doesn’t respect you enough.
Be honest and don’t play any mind games because that approach might backfire on you.
The “what are we?” talk
Nevertheless, you have to be ready for this conversation to be followed by the infamous “what are we?” talk. It’s natural that you’ll tackle the issue of your relationship and finally decide where you stand.
Don’t avoid this talk, and don’t be afraid that it will make you look desperate. You’re a woman who knows what she wants, and it’s finally time he realizes this as well.
4. Catfish him
What if you agree to start a committed relationship, but he remains active on online dating sites?
Okay, so this is not the healthiest advice possible. And I know I told you not to play games, but sometimes, desperate times call for desperate measures.
If you don’t know what your guy is doing on all those dating sites, make a fake profile. Or just ask a close friend to get in touch with your guy.
I bet he’ll act as if he were single. This way, you’ll have proof that he’s lying to you.
Just a heads up: this is only a good idea if you are really leaving him! You can’t show up with a bunch of screenshots just to end up forgiving him.
How Do You Know If A Guy Online Genuinely Likes You?
Here are some of the most common signs that a guy online is really into you:
1. He texts you all the time.
2. He initiates conversation.
3. You don’t have to wait for his reply.
4. He asks you out on a first date.
When Should He Delete His Dating Profile?
A man should delete his dating profiles the moment he starts a serious relationship. Ideally, he shouldn’t wait for his girlfriend to nag about it, but he should do it himself.
To Wrap Up:
Instead of asking yourself, “If he likes me, why is he still online dating?” why don’t you ask yourself, What am I still doing with this man? Don’t ever give more than you receive, and don’t settle for less than you deserve!
I know you’re tired of looking for the one, but trust me, it’s way better to be single than be with someone who only treats you like one of his options.
I’m not telling you to leave right away. But if he continues spending time on online dating sites even though you specifically ask him not to, it’s more than clear that he doesn’t care about you enough!