At some point in our lives, every one of us has met a commitment-phobe and we have all probably heard some of his excuses. Some of us called bullshit and left, while some of us were already too deep in it that we hoped that he would change and we stayed. Calling bullshit and leaving isn’t always easy, but if you heard your man say any of these, watch out, as your man could be a true commitment-phobe.
1. I really want to focus on my career
His job and career ambitions are so consuming that he can’t afford to have a distraction such as a relationship, but he’s okay with having you around for some casual rolling in the sheets. He just values his career more than a relationship.
2. Let’s just enjoy what we have
And what exactly do you have? You give yourself completely, but he takes only what he wants and what’s there not to enjoy? He gets to vent to someone, he has someone who will be there for him, but he’s not there for you? I call bullshit on this; if he enjoys more than you do, leave.
3. I don’t deserve you
He could be saying this because he truly knows your worth and he knows he’s not good enough for you. Or this could be something like the good ol’, “It’s not you, it’s me,” type of excuse. Either way, he really doesn’t deserve you.
4. I don’t want to ruin our friendship
Every great love story begins with a friendship and there’s nothing better than dating your best friend. But if he insists on staying friends, he really doesn’t see you as anything more.
5. I don’t do labels
Labels come with boundaries, and that’s something he wants to avoid at all costs. It’s not labels that he hates, he just doesn’t do girlfriends.
6. I like things just the way they are
You may both be comfortable with the way you are with your situationship, but if you want something more and he doesn’t, then he has no plans on growing with you or evolving your relationship to something more. Why wait for him if there’s someone out there who is ready to go ‘all in’ with you?
7. I want to take things slowly
If he wants to take your relationship slowly, but is eager to take some other things more quickly (you know what I mean), he’s only after one thing. Is he really worth it?
8. My ex really hurt me
In some cases, an emotionally damaged man could be using this excuse because he doesn’t want to heal, or he’s not ready to move on; he simply needs time that you don’t have to give him. But in other cases, he could be using this excuse just to get into your pants and get away from the emotional parts of the relationship.
9. It’s the wrong timing
There’s no wrong time, there are only wrong people. Men who can recognize that you are worth it will make the time. He just doesn’t know how to make room for you in his ‘busy’ life, so don’t bother making room for him in yours.