In order to enter into a lasting relationship, you have to first understand your authentic self. Not the self that you project to the world – the public persona you want everyone to see you as. The self that is often front and center only when you’re alone with your thoughts. Connect with this person in order to understand what you truly want in a partnership.
Even if you believe there are certain aspects of your inner being that you project outwardly, your social self and that which you return to in quiet moments will never be hundred percent the same. This is because the social version values the input of others and interacts with others to self-validate. Your loved ones will always feel as if they know you best and have your best intentions in mind when trying to match you with your dream mate.
However, if you don’t know what kind of person will complete you on a soul level and you rush into a relationship with someone that’s not a great fit simply to appease others, there will be an unavoidable truth that something is amiss. Maybe you can easily put your finger on what this is; maybe not. But either way, you will feel it inside.
When others play matchmaker, they tend to set you up with someone that they’ve known for a while, who they believe is a good person and will make you happy. This is because they only see one version of this person, just as they see one version of you.
If you accept, there’s a chance that you might not feel the proverbial spark. Even if the person on the other end of the match-making game is indeed everything your family or friends said he was, this doesn’t mean he is right for you. And, it’s always tough having to put an end to something when it will be disappointing to those we care about.
This is why it is important to understand what will make you happy from the very beginning, before anyone gets hurt, including you! If you have a solid understanding of what makes you tick and what you need from a companion at the soul level, you are more apt to start connecting with someone who fills you up and matches your energy.
What does this mean?
It means you should take your time. It means taking the time to go inward and reflect on the person you are genuinely, maybe for the first time ever. It may seem foreign and uncomfortable at first because most of the time you’re rushing around, trying to meet the needs of everyone else, while ignoring those of your own. You may feel like you don’t even have five minutes to spare, but you do.
When your head hits the pillow at night or when you pull up at your next appointment, before getting out of the car, you’ll have a few precious moments to spare to go inward and ensure you’re on the right track. There is always time to check in, even if it is just briefly.
The bottom line is, no one else knows what’s best for you. Only you have all the answers. But you won’t be able to crack the code until you work on summoning your authentic self in quiet moments of self-reflection. When this becomes more natural, you may feel like a whole new person at first. That’s okay. It’s still you. It’s the authentic you that’s been waiting to be heard. Eventually, this person will become so familiar, she will shine through to the outside, too.
When you connect with yourself at the soul level, this will not only be noticeable to you, but to everyone else around you. There might be a bit more pep in your step, you may develop a more positive outlook. Then, and only then, will you be ready to extend this positivity to someone else in a new romantic connection. And, the right person will be attracted to you because you are presenting who you really are to the world.
When you find love as your authentic self, it tends to last a lifetime. So, give love a chance and give it a try!
