The dating world is full of surprises, ups and downs, happy and those less happy moments and whether you’ve just started dating or have been dating for years, I’m sure you know all of this very well.
And you also know that even though dating might seem complicated at first, there is one thing that simply overshadows all of negative, and that is the moment when you finally find your true love. And how do you do it?
You won’t find true love when you decide it’s the time for finding it. You won’t find it when you decide to keep searching and weighing the pros and cons in the hope this person is the love of your life.
You will find your true love when you stop looking for it. When you focus on loving yourself, appreciating everything you have in life, and appreciating your becoming the person you are today. That is when you’ll find your true love – your soulmate.
But, how will you know that you’ve found the right one?
That’s where the five stages of dating enter the scene. Through these stages, you will know whether the person you’re dating is right for you or you are just wasting your time and you should stay away from them.
Recognizing your true partner is not an easy task. It is a long journey made of these five stages that will help you open your eyes and see how things really are. When you really like someone, it is easy to mistake them for being your soulmate.
Just because you’ve fallen for them, can’t stop thinking of them, and find them extremely attractive, this doesn’t mean they have the same feelings for you. This is hard to recognize when you’re head over heels for them.
But, lucky you, the five dating stages will be your true guide, and they will help you open your eyes and see the truth as to whether the person you’re dating is right for you. These are the stages that every couple goes through in order to grow into a more serious relationship.
THE 5 STAGES OF DATING
The Attraction Stage is about partners showing their true selves, staying positive, and enjoying. Many of us don’t pay that much attention to our body language and gestures which are of great importance when it comes to leaving a good impression, and that’s the thing you should pay special attention to.
Tips for women
She should talk freely about herself, her hobbies, activities, the things she likes in general. If she just nods, letting him do all the talking, there’s a chance that he’ll ignore when she starts talking because he will get too excited about making himself appear great in her eyes.
So, the best bet is for her to let him talk a little bit, then add something about herself, and so on. The key is making sure not to overdo any of it. She needs to find the balance between talking and listening to him.
Also, she should avoid mentioning anything negative about her life (even if she’s not that happy about how things are at the moment). That way, he’ll see that she’s an easy going person, and he will not see her as someone who is constantly complaining about things.
She should avoid showing any negative emotions or her negative sides because she needs to create an inviting environment for him in which he will be dying to know her better and be part of her life.
Tips for men
If he wants to win her interest, he’ll need to make her feel special. He’ll achieve this by simple gestures like noticing her outfit, hair, complimenting her external and internal appearance, looking her deeply in the eye, and similar.
When she sees that he’s genuinely interested in her, she will feel special, and she will be attracted to him as well. The things he does and how they make her feel are what makes her interested in him.
He should pay attention to asking her questions about her job, family, leisure time, and similar which will let her know that he’s trying hard to know her better and understand what type of person she is. She will acknowledge his efforts and show her satisfaction, so giving her his attention is the best he could do at this stage.
Also, he needs to make sure not to make her feel bombarded with questions because it will have a counter effect. He should be relaxed, ask her a question or two, and then wait for her to reciprocate.
After getting to know each other, stage two is about focusing and directing all of their energy on each other and making a foundation for the relationship to start growing. At this stage, women and men experience uncertainty differently.
While women mostly tend to question where the relationship is going, men question whether they are ready or whether they want to enter a relationship at all.
Uncertainty for her
Let’s say that stage one was successful for both of the partners, and now they’re at stage two where they start questioning where the relationship is going. To a woman, this question comes naturally because when she is really into someone, her mind is telling her that she’s ready to enter a relationship and be with the guy she really likes.
And that sounds pretty logical. But, unfortunately guys are not wired that way. So, at this stage, she will probably demand from him any sign or signal about the direction in which he sees that things are going. She will constantly expect reassurance that the two of them are thinking alike and that they both want the same thing.
And that is why she will decide to push things a little bit with questions or she’ll start chasing him because she thinks the problem lies in her and that he needs more reassurance to finally realize that she’s the one for him.
With this kind of approach, chances are that she’ll push him away from her, so the best thing she can do is to leave him be for the time being or seek advice from her friends and family because that way, she will have better insight as to how things really are.
Uncertainty for him
Uncertainty for him means being unable to decide whether he wants to enter a relationship with that specific person or he should look further. At this stage, he’ll question things like whether his potential partner will make him happy and give him what he wants.
Unfortunately, he cannot know this until he enters a relationship and reassure himself because it is hard to evaluate the situation without even giving it a chance. Unlike women, at this stage men are extremely cautious about starting a relationship with someone because in most of the cases, they see it as abandoning their freedom and pursuit of other women.
So, if a man is not ready to “abandon his freedom and tendency to pursue other women”, he is not ready to enter a relationship. If he does, the chances are that he will make the other person miserable and regret his decision.
The best thing he can do is ask himself whether he’ll be able to make her happy and content once he decides to commit. When he focuses his thoughts on other people’s happiness, he will be happy himself, and his efforts will be reciprocated (if that’s something he really wants).
The third stage is about expressing a desire to date each other exclusively and to stop seeing others. It’s a stage of commitment that starts from the moment the two of you come to an agreement to commit to each other, keep investing in your relationship, and spend time together (and not when you start having sex).
Exclusivity for her
At this stage, she expects that her partner knows her, the things she likes, and how to make her happy. They’ve gone through two stages before this one in which he had enough time to meet her personality, habits, and other little things that describe her being. He had enough time to realize do’s and don’ts when it comes to making her feel special.
So, now she expects him to keep showering her with his cute and romantic gestures as he did from stage one. If he succeeds in meeting her expectations, she will appear more attractive in his eyes, and she will be genuinely happy and proud of her partner.
Problems may arise if he fails to recognize her needs and wishes. This might make her start thinking that something’s wrong. This assumption forces her to believe that she needs to change herself and give more—which is wrong. She should just keep receiving and showing gratitude as she did so far, so that he keeps winning her.
Exclusivity for him
When a man enters an exclusivity stage, to him it means that his job here is done. He thinks that he worked hard all this time to win her, and now he deserves to rest and enjoy his accomplishments. This can trigger him to stop winning her and making her feel special as he did from stage one.
But, the exclusivity etage is definitely not a time to be a couch potato and do nothing. This is the stage where he needs to keep chasing her, and showering her with sweet gestures and things that make her happy.
If he gives up now, she will be disappointed because he will not succeed in meeting her expectations. He needs to continue finding out the things she likes and what are the triggers for making her happy.
Now is the time for him to double his efforts and prove to her that she deserves to be chased because she is special to him. Now is the time for him to prove to her that he is worthy of being with her, and he will do anything for her because he appreciates her and cares about her feelings.
The fourth stage is about true love that needs to be watered and nourished. Once two people have created a firm bond with each other on different levels (physical, emotional…), now they are ready to experience the essence of true love.
The intimacy stage is not only about the physical intimacy. It includes a whole journey where two people will work hard on discovering each other’s fears, strengths, weaknesses, etc. It is the time of an ultimate acceptance, giving and receiving, and finding the balance that will lead them to the ultimate blessing and happiness in a relationship.
Intimacy for her
The more she expresses her emotions, the more he’ll be confused about them because he will be unsure of how to react in certain situations. But, this shouldn’t prevent her from opening up to him and showing her true self to him because it is the only way to create the indestructible intimacy which is the biggest foundation of a healthy relationship.
Also, if he starts pulling away, she shouldn’t take it as a red flag because this type of behavior is completely normal at this stage. He will pull away because he needs some time to digest his feelings for her, and during that time, he will start creating a strong intimate connection with her.
His absence is a prerequisite for him because he needs to feel the emotion of missing her which will work as a trigger to deepen his feelings for her and with that, their intimacy. That is why she shouldn’t blame him when he goes off from time to time because it means he’s just going through the process of bonding.
Read also: Why Men Pull Away at Early Stages
Intimacy for him
Stage four is the time where he will be challenged to experience her going through different feelings and emotions that will sometimes look like mini roller coasters. And now is the time for him to shine and show off the skills he’s acquired so far.
He shouldn’t try to find a solution for her problems because that’s now what she’s asking of him. He should just be there for her, show his compassionate side and reassure her that everything will be fine.
Now is the time for him to show his strength and understanding for her complex mind. He should avoid judging her or finding solutions at any cost because it will only make things worse. The only thing that he’s supposed to do at this stage is to show her that he’s a real man who will keep being there for her no matter what.
This is the final stage in which the couple decides to bring commitment to another level and get married. They decide to give their souls and bodies to their significant other forever, and they decide to work together on improving their together life and devising plans for their future.
Now is the time to become the best versions of themselves, shape and deepen their intimacy even more. Now is the time to summarize everything done so far and look forward to new challenges and happy days that are about to come.
Engagement is the perfect time for the couple to practice apologizing and forgiving.
Apologizing and forgiving will be their biggest friends in marriage because that is the only way to maintain true love. Both partners need to learn to apologize when they do something wrong to their partner or hurt their feelings one way or another.
Both partners need to learn to open their hearts and forgive because marriage consists of all of the beautiful and less beautiful. Marriage is every happy moment spent with them laughing and every sad moment spent in tears together.
It is a beautiful harmony that will keep forcing both partners to master the art of unconditional love, and to keep giving selflessly and receiving with an open heart and mind.
The five stages are the preparation for greatness
These five stages are the preparation for greatness, and it is important for both partners to go through all of them, never give up, and keep fighting for each other. Women should leave men enough space for chasing them, and men should be those who will never give up chasing them even when they have them.
Women should act as real gems that should be appreciated and taken care of, while men should be those who will remind them of their true beauty. Mutual respect, efforts, and finding of balance are a prerequisite to reaching true greatness, blessings, and the unconditional love that will withstand all conditions.