Leaving a narcissistic relationship is extremely hard. The lying bastard wipes out your self-esteem and your self-respect. After you’re done with him, you don’t have the strength to move on. Trusting people is the last thing you’ll do.
Only after you survive the long and painful healing process and after you realize that it wasn’t your fault things didn’t work out and that he made you believe in things that are not true, you are able to look at life from a different perspective.
Narcissistic relationships are addictive. You get used to their mistreatment and it becomes your life. He becomes like a fix that you need to take every day otherwise you’ll be in crisis. His insults and manipulations become the air that you breathe and you don’t want to suffocate. That’s why you stay.
Narcissistic relationships are challenging. Some women stay in that relationship although they are unhappy because they keep hoping things will change. They cling on to the idea they will change him and make him a better person. And actually, narcissists are such good actors that they know just the right moment to pretend they have changed—the moment when the woman has had enough and once again, they manipulate her into staying.
Narcissistic relationships are humiliating. These people take away everything positive about you. They take your will for life. They shove you and corner you with no hope of getting out. You just keep going round in circles hoping you’ll find the way out but it never happens.
He turns you into a shadow of the woman you once were. He takes away everything you had and creates a woman of his taste—the one he could control and finally destroy.
But a person can take just enough abuse. All women put a stop to this behavior eventually. Narcissists get them to the point they don’t really care what is going to happen to them. They are not scared anymore and their consciousness kicks in. That tiny bit of strength left in them screams its way out and they finally discard the sneaky bastard.
But the struggle doesn’t end there. That is just the beginning of the journey. That was just the first step they were brave enough to take.
Now comes the hard part. All women who had the strength to break free from a narcissistic relationship are faced with rediscovering a love for themselves. They are faced with the challenge of finding their self-respect and forgiving themselves for believing all the narcissistic lies and manipulations so far.
Women have to deal with healing and fighting his tries to get them back. You see, narcissists can’t live without their victims. They have to have someone to leech off of. They have to have someone who will be their punching bag, someone who will make them feel better, and someone to lash out at. And they will try with everything they’ve got to get you back.
This is what you can expect when you finally discard a narcissist:
1. He will stalk and harass you
Every normal person would understand, if not right away, then after some time, that you had to leave a relationship that was causing you more suffering than happiness. But, unlike normal people, a narcissist will see your leaving as you beating him and he cannot admit defeat.
He can’t get that you were afraid for your safety and he will see you leaving him as abandonment, but no one abandons a narcissist because, in his own eyes, he is perfect. He sees your relationship as a competition and you won.
Since he can’t accept the fact you discarded him first, he will stalk and harass you for months and maybe even years after you break up. He will stalk you on social media, come to your home, send you texts, call you or even use someone else to try to manipulate you into coming back to him. He is ready to do literally anything, from hacking into your computer to messing with your head and threatening you.
2. He will blame you for everything
At the beginning, he was acting like he was lucky to have you and that you are such a blessing. He acts like he is super lucky to score someone as good as you. But as the relationship is taking its course and he starts to show his real face, things deteriorate. Because of that, he will put the blame on you.
He will make up a stupid excuse to put the fault of your broken relationship on you. The reason is completely irrelevant—what’s important is that everything is your fault.
That is so shocking and hurtful and narcissists do it only because they see there is no way the two of you will ever get back together, so they make sure to clear their names and fool themselves into thinking they did nothing wrong.
3. Post-breakup triangulation
He will try to deliberately create a love triangle to diminish you and set your mind back to the time when you were with him. In these situations, you have to be careful on social media, avoid it and try not to go to the places you could meet him.
This is really important because you are still in the healing process and any sight of him or even a failed try of making you jealous can bring back your doubt and lack of respect. You have to make sure to have no contact whatsoever with your narcissist, so you deny him the chance of sucking you back into the hell you’ve lived in.
4. He will guilt trip you into staying
After you finally discard a narcissist, he will try to guilt trip you into coming back to him. He will remind you of all the wonderful things he has done for you while you were together, and there were a lot of them, but unfortunately, every one of those actions had an ulterior motive.
Every time he did something nice for you, he wanted something in return. He will shove these things into your face, hoping you’ll remember only the good things and give him another chance.
5. He will make you look bad
You can’t dodge this bullet. You can’t hide the fact that you broke up because the narcissist wants to make sure everyone knows you broke up and now it’s time for those people to choose sides. Your narcissist wants you to experience total abandonment from your friends.
He will bad mouth you on social media and gossip about you whenever he gets the chance. He will try to convince people you did all the things he actually did to you. He wants to gather as much sympathy as possible and make you into the bad guy.