Do you have the feeling that you’ve started hating everything your girlfriend does? You have that sense of hatred that overwhelms you every time you look at her or talk to her?
Hate is a strong word, and if you’re going through it, there’s must be a valid reason behind it. You see, not every relationship is meant to last.
Some people capture your heart the moment you see them, and it never changes. But, there are also people who capture your heart in the beginning, and when you learn more about them, you realize that they are not the type of a person you would want to be with. And that is when the hatred occurs.
Also, you sometimes might have high expectations of your potential partners, and when you realize that they will never be able to fulfill them, you starting hating the whole idea of being with someone like them.
Do not waste your time on being in a toxic relationship!
Whatever the reason be, if you find yourself in a relationship with a girlfriend whom you thought you could love and now you’ve realized is the exact opposite, do not waste your time or nerves on this type of toxic relationship. Summarized, if the sentence “I hate my girlfriend” has occupied your brain lately, you should end things.
I know, I know…Now you’re probably thinking: But, what if this is just in my head, and she is not that bad after all? What if I am going through some weird phase where I have started hating everyone around me? What if I regret dumping her?
Well, there’s a solution for that, too. To be a hundred percent sure that you shouldn’t doubt for a second leaving her, there are some things you should pay attention to. If any of these 15 things applies to you, know that it’s time to let her go.
I hate my girlfriend: 15 reasons you should consider moving on
1. You hate her
I know that this one is pretty much self-explanatory, but sometimes it takes some reminding. If you hate your girlfriend with every inch of your body, you should get out of such a relationship. Hate is the total opposite of love, and if you find yourself being on that other side, know that it is time to move on.
How will you know that you hate your girlfriend? You will know that you hate your girlfriend when you’re not happy about seeing her. You’re not enjoying spending time with her. You’re constantly imagining how it would be to be with someone else. You’re frustrated.
Remember that it is always better to end things than make them worse than they are. Cheating on her is the last thing you would want to do, and that is why your best bet is to accept the truth that you hate her and leave in time.
2. You no longer enjoy sex
Sex is an important aspect of every happy and healthy relationship. If you’ve noticed that you no longer enjoy having sex with her, it’s time to cut her loose. You see, when you start hating someone you used to love, everything changes as well as your sex life. You can never enjoy being intimate with someone you hate. It’s as simple as that.
And when that happens, you know that the time has come. Think about how your sex was at the beginning of your relationship. Has it changed? Do you think you would be happier having sex with someone else? Do you often think about having sex with someone else? If yes, chances are that your sex life will never improve, not until you decide to move on (before it’s too late).
3. You’ve got nothing to talk about
Another important aspect of every healthy relationship is communication. If you feel like you’ve got nothing to talk about with your girlfriend, you know the situation is alarming. It’s normal for people when they just start dating to have flawed conversation patterns because they are still exploring each other.
But, if this doesn’t change even after your beginning phase, you have a communication problem, and I’m sorry to tell you, but you will start hating her more and more if you don’t quit things. By now, you should have already learned a lot about each other, and the conversation should have flourished. And if it is not, you should do a favor to the both of you and initiate going separate ways.
4. She is controlling you
Do you feel she has entrapped you? Do you feel like she is depriving you of your freedom and making choices for you by herself? If yes, she might have become a “control freak”. Controlling behavior is a serious disorder which is known as Obsessive – Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD), and such people are really hard to get along with. And that might be the reason why you started hating her in the first place.
Other signs of controlling behavior are constant questioning about everything you do and imposing her opinions on every matter. Making ultimatums and conditions followed by consequences (if not fulfilled) and so on. But, the biggest sign of being controlled is the entrapment feeling, making you go crazy.
5. You hate who you are with her
A relationship requires reciprocity. If you hate who you are when being with her, this is a huge sign of hatred. You probably hate her for hating yourself. It is a vicious, never-ending cycle that you need to destroy ASAP. We all change when we enter a relationship, but if you hate those changes, then you know you’re not with the right person.
If you’ve been constantly changing because of her, and you don’t like these changes (you feel like you’ve lost yourself), it’s a huge red flag that something’s utterly wrong, and it’s time to move on. The best thing you can do is to talk to her about it, and let her know your opinions and feelings regarding it.
Chances are that she might feel the same way, but she was reluctant to tell you (just like you). And voila! The best thing you can do is to end it by mutual agreement so no one gets hurt.
6. She is not the same person you met
You expected a reasonable and caring girlfriend, and she turned out to be the complete opposite. Don’t worry. It happens to everyone. It is normal to be “blind” when you just start dating someone because you tend to create a picture of that person in your head which is the main reason of disappointments in future. It is hard to be 100% sure that the person is exactly who we think she is.
And when you realize that all this time you’ve been fooling yourself, you start hating her (and yourself as well). You realize that she is no longer the same person you met perhaps because she has never been, but you were simply blind to see it (like the rest of us out there).
7. She doesn’t care about her looks around you
While it is not fair to expect her to look like a Victoria Secret angel every day, it is also not fair of her to not care about her looks at all. You remember the times when she would try hard to impress you on each date with perfect makeup and a perfect outfit? And now those days are gone.
Do you know why?
There are two reasons actually. Reason number one is because you’ve been together for some time, and she’s got totally relaxed about how she looks, so that she’s become too lazy to care about her appearance. Reason number two is because she is no longer interested in impressing you, but she’s interested in impressing others. (E.g. when she goes out she spends a lot of time on her appearance).
And this is a huge problem. You deserve to be with a girlfriend who will always make an effort to look decent and pretty for you and for herself as well. So, if she no longer gives a damn about her looks when being around you, it’s time to stop giving a damn about it, and let her go.
8. She doesn’t give you space
She never allows you to have some time for yourself even though you are spending lots of time together. Sometimes you have to beg her to leave you alone, so that you can collect your thoughts. Whatever you do or say, she simply doesn’t understand. You feel frustrated about it, but you simply don’t have any proper solution for it.
She sees having time alone as you being mad at her or ignoring her. She doesn’t understand that giving space to each other is necessary, and it is a normal process in every single (healthy) relationship. So, if she’s depriving you of your freedom, you know what you’re supposed to do.
9. She is making you jealous
Jealousy is a serious issue, and if you’re experiencing it with your girlfriend, you should never doubt for a second whether or not to give up on her. She might be making you jealous because she herself is insecure and wants your constant validation of your affection.
Or she might be making you jealous because she genuinely doesn’t care how you will feel about it. However, none of these reasons is valid. You shouldn’t be with a girlfriend who makes you jealous for no apparent reason.
You deserve to be in a healthy, reciprocal relationship in which you will not question anything. You deserve to be happy. So, screw jealousy! If she is deliberately flirting with others only to annoy you or for some other unhealthy reasons, you have every right to hate her and abandon her.
10. Your friends and family hate her (too)
It’s one thing if you (who are in a relationship with her) hate her, but it’s completely another if your friends and family hate her, too. When it comes to this, your friends are ten times more reliable than you yourself. It is because you might still be emotionally attached to her, and you see your relationship differently from others.
So, if your friends tell her that they don’t approve of her, believe them. They are saying this to you because they are sick of listening you complaining to them about her, and they have realized that she is simply not good for you. They would never say this if they think you’re happy with her. Also, if your family hates her too, then you can be sure that they just want the best for you.
11. She is annoying
If you no longer find it inviting to come home from your work because you know that she will be there, you hate her. If you no longer feel the excitement of spending time together, you hate her. Or to be exact, you hate her because she is annoying. When you’re in a healthy relationship, you’re supposed to be willing to spend as much as time together as possible.
But, when you become annoyed by your girlfriend, the situation changes. You no longer see her as someone you would want to be sitting on the couch with, watching movies or having dinner together. And you might also have considered cheating on her because you feel miserable, but you don’t know how to end things. Now is the time for you to shine, and do what’s best for you and that is – ending it.
12. You genuinely don’t care about what she’s doing
You used to text her frequently because you were interested in what she was doing and what was going on in her life generally. You cared about what she was doing because you cared about her. And now you simply couldn’t give less of a fuck about it. She could tell you that she is going on a drink with her ex, and you will stay indifferent to it because you don’t care.
And not caring is a serious red flag that you should do something about. It is an indicator that you should either fix things, or give up (if you see that there is no point). Here’s a little help: If you don’t care what she’s doing now, you certainly won’t care in the future as well.
13. You met someone new
You met someone new, and you have no idea what to do next. But, you know for a fact that you would want to be with that new person you’ve just met. If there’s any type of doubting your current relationship and longing to be with another person, you should end it immediately.
There’s no point in hurting your girlfriend just because you were too weak to end it in time. If you’ve met someone new, you hate your girlfriend, and you’re suspicious of the direction in which your relationship will go, it’s time to move on.
14. You can’t imagine the future with her in it
Another strong indication that you should get out of your relationship is if you cannot imagine the future with her in it. Just think about it for a second. Imagine your future and think about whether you see her in it. If she’s not in it, it means she’s standing in your way to happiness.
It means you’re not happy with what you have, and you will neither be happy in future with her because you don’t enjoy spending time with her (as you might used to do). It means it’s time to stop wasting your time on thinking about it, and let her know how you feel.
15. She cheated on you
This one is non-negotiable. If she cheated on you, you have every right to call her now and end it with her no matter how many times she tries to say she’s sorry. If all this time you were treating her with respect and admiration and in return you get her cheating on you, she doesn’t deserve you, and she’s not the kind of a girlfriend you should to be with. You deserve reciprocity, and I’m sure you’ll find it once you decide to let her go.