Harmless Flirting: How Far Is Too Far?

Men and women have separate opinions about what is considered to be cheating and what is not.

There are liberal people who are okay if their partner flirts with others, and they don’t see anything bad about it. But, on the other hand, there are people who see flirting as cheating, and if their partner did that, they probably wouldn’t be okay with it.

There are people who believe that harmless flirting could never do severe damage to a relationship and destroy their significant other with that emotional affair, but that would be a huge blow to their partner’s self-esteem.

Cheaters are extremely resourceful when it comes to finding excuses for their questionable behavior that is covered with red flags (if you open your eyes to them). They may say it’s just silly banter, but in reality, it is an emotional connection that is going to result in an eventual break up.

Harmless fun is rarely just that. There is no such thing as the kind of flirting  where there is zero sexual interest. In a healthy relationship, you work on your sex life if it needs to be worked on, and you don’t just flirt around, hoping to catch that high with another person.

A romantic relationship is a committed relationship.  This person is your best friend, and even if it’s just ‘harmless’ texting with a colleague of the opposite sex, think hard on how it may be perceived by your partner. 

At the end of the day, like I always say in my own relationship: never do things to your partner that you wouldn’t be okay with them doing to you. It’s as simple as that.

It’s time to take responsibility for your actions and realize once and for all that just because you feel a certain vibe with an attractive woman who isn’t your partner, it doesn’t make it okay to engage in any kind of flirting.

If you are in a monogamous relationship, you should respect the sanctity of it. The first time you decide to flirt around may only be the beginning of something more severe. It’s in human nature to be curious, but it’s also important to control your illicit impulses.

Many people find their partner flirting to be extremely worrying, but they would never say anything. I’ve contacted many relationship experts in hopes of finding out where that line really is and help people not to cross it ever again.

That’s why I decided to make a list of the most common ways people actually cheat without even knowing it. And now I’ve made it, you can check it and see for yourself how thin the line really is and if you’re about to cross it.

1. Messages on different social media

Is Flirting Cheating? 7 Ways To Be Unfaithful Without Even Knowing It

We all use different social media sites to stay in touch with our friends and acquaintances these days, and there is nothing wrong with that. Text messages and Snapchat have become our second nature.

But the problem is that some unfamiliar people can show up in your contacts list. Maybe there is a guy who really likes you, and he messages you on a social media site.

And you want to be polite, so you message him back and in the blink of an eye he asks you what you are wearing and says that he would love to be with you right now. And then you realize what just happened, and you delete all his messages and block him.

2. Being close to a co-worker

Is Flirting Cheating? 7 Ways To Be Unfaithful Without Even Knowing It

We all have that one co-worker who can make us feel better and show us that not everything is so black and white. But the issue is how far you go in a relationship with them.

Do you just do your work professionally or do you talk about some deeply private things with your co-worker? Is he someone who will come to you at the end of a working day to massage your stiff neck and drive you home?

Or do you two have a strictly professional relationship, and you just work together? These relationships with co-workers can be very tricky because something serious can happen all of a sudden.

Maybe you think that the guy you are sitting with in the office doesn’t find you attractive, but maybe he fantasizes about you all day long. So, be careful how you act in the office, and don’t forget it is a place where a job needs to be done.

But not the one you are thinking about right now.

3. Regular texts with your ex

Is Flirting Cheating? 7 Ways To Be Unfaithful Without Even Knowing It

I really don’t understand people who still have contact with their ex. He cheated on you and hurt you, but you still text him every day to check up on him.

Yeah, right. I mean, there are people who decided to separate in a nice way because they realized they didn’t have anything in common.

And reaching out to their ex from time to time is quite okay if their new partner doesn’t have any problem with that. But if you are talking to your ex on a daily basis and then deleting your texts because you don’t want your partner to see them, you have a problem. 

You are aware of the fact that your partner would feel hurt if they saw those texts, but you are still doing it. And even if you think it is not a big deal, it is actually cheating.

4. Sharing your intimacy with someone

Is Flirting Cheating? 7 Ways To Be Unfaithful Without Even Knowing It

I know that physical cheating is quite bad, but you can just imagine how emotional cheating feels for someone you have been dating for a long time.

If your heart is divided into two parts, wherein one part there is your current partner and in the other half there is a person you clicked with, I am afraid you are cheating.

You are not giving all of yourself to your partner but sharing your intimacy with someone else, and you feel good about it. And even if you think it is okay to do that, just imagine how you would feel if your partner did that to you.

It wouldn’t feel good, right? I know people like to make bonds with other people as well as their partner, but there are things that should be kept just for them.

5. Sharing your sexual fantasies with someone who is not your partner

Is Flirting Cheating? 7 Ways To Be Unfaithful Without Even Knowing It

It is often said that cheating doesn’t happen when we want it but when the situation is right.

Maybe you really love your partner, but a couple of glasses of wine more and you catch yourself talking about your sexual fantasies with a stranger you met that night. If you are imagining how you would like to sleep with someone other than your partner and if you are enjoying thinking about it, it is considered to be cheating.

If you already have some sexual fantasies, then you should try them with your partner and not with a random person you met at a bar that night.

So, don’t find excuses for being a bit drunk or for going through a rough period in your relationship; if you really love someone, you would never do something like this to them.

6. You spend a lot of time talking to someone

Is Flirting Cheating? 7 Ways To Be Unfaithful Without Even Knowing It

It can be sitting in a café and talking or it can be messaging on social media sites, but if you spend more time with someone who is not your partner than with them, it means you are on a slippery slope.

You don’t even have to exchange some flirty texts with someone. The fact that you are spending more time with them than with your man says enough. You are actually putting that person first, and you want to be there every time they need to talk to you.

Just think about how your partner would feel if you admitted to them that you are enjoying spending time with someone else more than with them.

7. You do it with the wrong intentions

Is Flirting Cheating? 7 Ways To Be Unfaithful Without Even Knowing It

If you are flirting with everyone you meet just because the situation at home is not so great, you are already cheating. It is only a matter of time when cheating will happen or when it will become physical.

If you are not happy with your marriage or your relationship, you can try to fix that and not make it even worse. Nobody deserves to be cheated on and if you are doing it on purpose, then you really don’t deserve someone who will love you unconditionally.

The purpose of a relationship is not to vanish when the going gets tough. When things are not as perfect as at the beginning of your relationship, do something about it. 

Don’t give up just because of one problem. Remember why you chose that person in the first place, and don’t do anything that could hurt them.

That is the least they deserve after accepting to share their life with you.

Is Flirting Cheating? 7 Ways To Be Unfaithful Without Even Knowing It