More than anything in the world, we all want to be understood and accepted for who we are. We want to create a powerful connection with someone special. We all want to experience platonic intimacy.
It’s true that human beings spend half of their lives looking for all of this in romantic relationships without knowing that they can also experience the purest form of love in platonic relationships as well!
What Is Platonic Intimacy?
Platonic intimacy means having a close relationship with someone without the romantic feelings being attached. I like to call it a soulmate friendship.
It is a deep, unconditional love between two people of the same or of the opposite gender.
Sadly, platonic relationships between friends of the opposite gender are often misinterpreted. Just because two people hold hands, it doesn’t mean that they are in a romantic relationship.
A platonically intimate relationship can also involve holding hands, hugging, cuddling, and other things that people normally do when they create a strong bond with someone close to them.
Platonic intimacy is a beautiful thing.
Platonic intimacy is one of the most special and purest forms of love in the universe. Such intimacy encompasses both spiritual and emotional aspects.
It allows you to flourish, it helps you find emotional stability, and it improves your well-being and the quality of your life.
Unlike agape love (which is equally powerful, but more universal), platonic love is a type of relationship based on sharing common interests, worldviews, and a deep connection with your platonic friend. It is about helping each other grow.
Life is too short to waste your time on fake friends. Life is too short to be anything but happy, so here is how platonic intimacy changed my life and how it can change yours!
How Platonic Intimacy Improved My Life
If I told you that my childhood was perfect, I would be lying to you (and to myself).
It was far from perfect because my mother was suffering from an anxiety disorder while my father was always too busy to spend quality time with us (me and my brothers).
Because of that, most of the time, I felt alone and like they didn’t really understand me. But, I’ve never blamed them for that.
The only thing I could have blamed is our society and difficult life circumstances that were beyond our control.
I always felt like I was missing something. Could it be warmth, understanding, a close connection, or everything of the mentioned?
My high school days weren’t that exciting because I had difficulty fitting in.
Yes, I was like those introverted characters from the movies and series. I had a few close friends, but I couldn’t establish a deeper connection with them, so I felt alone the majority of the time.
When I went to college, everything changed! That is when I met my male best friend. I remember that he had issues with family members as well, so that was our favorite topic.
Besides that, we began spending more and more time together.
We would stay up all night studying for the upcoming exams, watching movies and series, talking about the meaning of life, and improving our cooking skills.
We created an intimate friendship with no elements of romantic attraction.
I remember when one of my “dear” colleagues mocked me for my weight (back then, I was too skinny). I felt horrible about it because
it was not something I could influence. I was too skinny due to dealing with anxiety (just like my mother).
Usually, when something like that happened, I would spend the whole day alone with my own thoughts.
But, this time, I felt like I finally had someone who would understand how I felt and to whom I could tell anything to.
I called my best friend and told him what happened. He hugged me and convinced me that there’s no reason for me to feel sad or like
I’m not good enough. He made me realize that anxiety made me a prisoner in my own mind.
He listened to my every word carefully, and that was so liberating. After that, we watched our favorite TV show (Breaking Bad) and went for a walk.
For the first time in my life, I didn’t give a damn about what others thought of me as long as I had him in my life – my true and best friend.
We’ve been platonic friends and kindred spirits ever since.
Interestingly, even today, some people think that he’s my significant other. I’ve repeated this one sentence one too many times: “No, we’re just friends“.
In a nutshell, I’ve realized that some people can be your best friend only for a season, but platonic friendships last for life!
RELATED: 15 Signs You’re In A Queerplatonic Relationship
7 Ways Platonic Intimacy Can Change Your Life
It encourages you to be more emotionally open.
You probably stumbled upon the concept of being emotionally unavailable. It is often related to emotionally unavailable men in relationships.
There are many reasons for that phenomenon, and it can reflect on all your relationships (friends, lovers, family members, etc.).
Having a platonic friend encourages you to be more emotionally open with others. This is because you feel like you can share anything with them no matter how stupid or weird your topic is.
Being more emotionally open helps you get rid of all your insecurities, helps you trust others, and makes you feel like you’re no longer alone in the world.
It’s when saying I love you to your platonic friend becomes your favorite sentence because you couldn’t imagine your life without them.
It helps you find emotional stability.
When one of my good friends met his platonic friend, both their mothers were diagnosed with breast cancer.
It was a tough period for both of them, and their bromance helped them find a silver lining during those hardships.
They found emotional stability in sharing feelings, worries, and consoling each other. This type of intimacy helps you target your emotional weaknesses and motivates you to work on them.
You no longer feel like you’re responsible only for your happiness, but their happiness becomes a reflection of your own.
Such a relationship teaches you to withstand different life situations and remain optimistic no matter what because you know that even if the whole world is against you, you still have each other.
Platonic intimacy offers you a safe space.
We all need a safe space in our lives. Some people find it in their hobbies, in their family members, or in their pet.
When something terrible happens to us, it’s comforting to know that we have a safe space where we will restore our energy and feel at peace.
Platonic intimacy offers you just that! If someone makes fun of you, you know that you can tell it to your best friend and that you will both make fun of that person.
If you’re feeling off, you know that they will cheer you up within seconds with their contagious laugh and brilliant ideas.
This type of relationship offers you a safe haven and a promise that they will always be there for you no matter what. Such a relationship is based on the principle of giving and receiving.
You will learn to selflessly give with an open heart as well as gratefully received. You will never need to worry about reciprocity because it will come naturally to both of you.
It helps you grow as a person.
A platonic relationship is not a type of perfect relationship where two people never fight or argue. Truth be told, perfect relationships don’t exist and a platonic one is not an exception.
If you do something wrong, your platonic friend will make sure to point it out to you. They will not pretend that everything is alright when it’s not, and that’s the biggest difference between a true friend and a fake one.
They will call you out on your toxic habits, they will help you face the truth, and sometimes, they will mock your choices.
They will do all that not because they “hate” you, but because they want to help you become the best version of yourself.
They will teach you that loving yourself is so much more than posting a perfect selfie on social networks.
It is about having the courage to forgive yourself, realizing your own beauty for what it is, and accepting the fact that you’re not perfect and that’s more than okay.
By praising your quirks and flaws and accepting you for who you are, your platonic relationship will both help you grow as a person and become in touch with your true self.
RELATED: Platonic Friendship: Pros & Cons And 10 Secrets To Making It Work
It improves your mental and physical health.
Our physical health is in close connection with our mental health and our mental health is closely connected with our thoughts.
The way we feel about ourselves and the way we perceive the world can greatly influence our well-being.
Having strong friendships can improve your immune system, the quality of your sleep, cardiovascular functioning, the way you deal with stress, and your overall mental health.
A strong connection like a platonic one has the power of improving the quality of your life. There is something truly soothing in knowing that you’re not alone.
You can have tons of friends, but if you can’t create a strong connection with any of them, then you won’t feel fulfilled. Quality over quantity!
In times of social media, people are more concerned with how many followers they have rather than with how many real friends they have in real life instead of a virtual one.
That is one of the main reasons why so many people suffer from depression and anxiety.
It teaches you how to develop more caring friendships.
Before I met my platonic best friend, I thought that the reason why I couldn’t create meaningful friendships was because of other people. But, the truth is that I wasn’t that much invested.
Luckily, my best friend taught me that in order to develop more caring friendships, we need to be open and honest.
We need to be invested to the core. We shouldn’t take the value of friendship for granted.
If you want someone to open up to you, then you need to be ready to do the same. If you want them to comfort you when you’re feeling off, then you need to be willing to do the same.
It took me a while to realize that it’s all about reciprocating. You cannot expect to receive if you don’t know how to give and vice versa.
Developing caring friendships is not only about going to the movies together or gossiping with others, it’s about sharing your fears, dreams, and motivating each other to do the best you can each day.
It’s about mutual respect and ultimate devotion.
It improves the quality of your life.
From physical to mental health, having a strong friendship improves the quality of your life.
My best friend still shapes my identity even after years of intense hanging out. I still share with them my deepest thoughts and issues.
I’m still learning how to develop more caring friendships, and finally, I see the world in different, more beautiful and inspiring colors.
My platonic friendship has also made me feel bolder and wiser.
Life is full of ups and downs, but once you know that you have that one person who is ready to accompany you through life’s challenges and who will always catch you when you fall, then you’re no longer afraid, but grateful for all that.
FAQs
Can platonic friends fall in love?
Is it possible for platonic friends to develop a romantic attraction for each other? Yes, it is possible (okay, unless you’re on the aromantic spectrum).
The reason why it is possible to fall in love with your best friend is that you have so many things in common; you basically finish each other’s sentences, and you understand each other on a deeper level.
Some even experience telepathy in love.
All those things help create a powerful connection that can sometimes evolve into something more, and that is when you start seeing your best friend as a potential romantic partner.
I’ve witnessed many people shifting from close friends to lovers, so it is possible, but only if both of you are on the same page. And, that is the tricky part.
Catching feelings for your best friend can be extremely overwhelming because you have no idea about what to do with your romantic feelings for them.
If you tell them how you feel, then you might start feeling anxious about (potentially) ruining your friendship in case they don’t feel the same way about you.
All of these concerns are legit and valid. If you happen to feel this way, then I suggest confiding in someone close to you about it.
And, yes, I suggest telling your platonic friend about how you feel.
Here’s why: “IN THE END… We only regret the chances we didn’t take, the relationships we were afraid to have, and the decisions we waited too long to make.” – Lewis Carroll
And, in case you want to keep that from happening, here’s a helpful remedy: How to not catch feelings for someone.
Can platonic friends kiss and cuddle?
Yes, platonic friends can express physical intimacy like cuddling (holding hands, hugging), and kissing (on the cheek, forehead, hand, etc.).
Platonic intimacy can be combined with other types of intimacy as well.
Physical intimacy can help strengthen your friendship bond (of course, if this is something you both enjoy and prefer).
Some people are not that comfortable with physical contact, so it all depends on the type of person.
Some friends prefer emotional intimacy over physical intimacy because they feel more comfortable sharing their deepest thoughts with you than perhaps cuddling.
Every person has their own unique love language, so pay attention to that the next time you initiate physical contact or similar.
As always, the best bet is to ask them if they’re comfortable with certain things, and that’s how you’ll know for sure.
What is platonic flirting?
Yes, that actually exists! Many of you probably imagine platonic flirting as a part of romantic attraction because flirting is flirting, right? Well, not really.
Platonic flirting basically means harmless flirting between two friends. Now, you’re probably wondering: But, how is it possible to harmlessly flirt with someone?
It is. You do it by complimenting each other, teasing, and doing all those flirty gestures that don’t imply anything romantic.
My best friend can be really flirty at times, but I got used to it, so I don’t see it as a “threat” to our platonic friendship.
Indeed, some people are innately more flirty than others, and because of that, they might find it difficult to draw the line between platonic relationships and romantic ones.
As always, an open and honest conversation is the key to every healthy relationship (be it platonic or not).
What are the three types of friendship?
There are different types of friendship and different levels of friendship.
If you’ve stumbled upon this concept, “three types of friendship”, know that it’s not something random, but it is the list of friendships coined by Aristotle:
• Friendships of utility: This type of friendship exists between two people who can be, let’s say, useful to each other.
For example, two high school students may become friendly because they help each other with homework or they have lockers next to each other.
Another example is neighbors asking each other to help take care of something while they’re at work.
• Friendships of pleasure: (No, it’s not about romantic pleasure). This type of friendship exists between individuals who enjoy spending time together.
They also share similar interests or engage in different activities together. Teasing and joking around is also a part of the equation.
• Friendships of the good: This type of friendship is based on utmost admiration and respect between two people. Two friends can share a similar mindset and perspectives on certain things (like fighting illnesses).
Such friendships take more time to build up, and they stand as some of the most powerful connections in the world.
40 Inspiring Quotes About Platonic Love
1. “In everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.” – Albert Schweitzer
2. “True friendship comes when the silence between two people is comfortable.” – David Tyson Gentry
3. “It is the true season of love when we know that we alone can love, that no one could ever have loved before us and that no one will ever love in the same way after us.” – Goethe
4. “Platonic love is love from the neck up.” – Thyra Samter Winslow
5. “A platonic friendship is perhaps only possible when one or the other of the Platonists is in love with a third person.” – Evelyn Beatrice Hall
6. “The difficulty is not so great to die for a friend, as to find a friend worth dying for.” – Homer
7. “A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.” – Walter Winchell
8. “Sometimes, you can’t explain what you see in a person. It’s just the way they take you to a place where no one else can.” – Unknown
9. “I’ve been wondering if, in fact, ideal platonic love isn’t just an intensely concentrated form of what inspires the best teachers.” – Edmund Marlowe
10. “Immature love says ‘I love you because I need you.’ Mature love says ‘I need you because I love you.’” – Eric Fromm
11. “Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘What! You, too? I thought I was the only one.” – C.S. Lewis
12. “I loved you like a man loves a woman he never touches, only writes to, keeps little photographs of.” – Charles Bukowski
13. “Just because you know someone doesn’t mean you love them, and just because you don’t know people doesn’t mean you can’t love them. You can fall in love with a complete stranger in a heartbeat if God planned that route for you. So, open your heart to strangers more often. You never know when God will throw that pass at you.” – Heather Grove
14. “No love, no friendship can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever.” – Francois Mauriac
15. “Don’t make friends who are comfortable to be with. Make friends who will force you to lever yourself up.” – Thomas J. Watson
16. “Best relations are where you can lay with each other and just talk about anything and everything.” – Unknown
17. “When someone else’s happiness is your happiness, that is love.” – Lana Del Rey
18. “Truly loving another means letting go of all expectations. It means full acceptance, even celebration of another’s personhood.” – Karen Casey
19. “Platonic love is like an inactive volcano.” – Andre Pevost
20. “A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are.” – Unknown
21. “Show me a genuine case of platonic friendship and I shall show you two old or homely faces.” – Austin O’Malley
22. “Platonic or Divine Love: The boy is so handsome! God has created him so beautifully! Vulgar or Earthly Love: The girl is so hot! I wish I could kiss her!” – Md. Ziaul Haque
23. “The reward for love is the experience of loving.” – John LeCarre
24. “One measure of friendship consists not in the number of things friends can discuss, but in the number of things they need no longer mention.” – Clifton Fadiman
25. “I’m pretty intense when it comes to relationships, platonic ones as well. If I feel a connection with someone, I’m willing to go there.” – Alexander Skarsgard
26. “If I can see my own recollections like many adolescents, I was a Platonic realist. I believed in the reality of ideas, of the big nouns, and believed that one’s life was determined by the ideas of the true, the good, and the beautiful which one held.” – Lawrence Kohlberg
27. “If you go looking for a friend, you’re going to find they’re very scarce. If you go out to be a friend, you’ll find them everywhere.” – Zig Ziglar
28. “The madness of love is the greatest of heaven’s blessings.” – Plato
29. “But, I think it is a serious issue to wonder about the other platonic absolutes of, say, beauty and morality.” – Roger Penrose
30. “Friendship is the only cement that will ever hold the world together.” – Woodrow T. Wilson
31. “We care for each other. We’re more than friends. But, we’re not a couple either. Well, I guess we’re just somewhere in between.” – Unknown
32. “I love you not because you’re beautiful, but it’s through you that I discover more of myself.” – Ramana Pemmaraju
33. “There’s something so great about platonic intimacy.” – Noah Centineo
34. “Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something: they’re trying to find someone who’s going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take.” – Anthony Robbins
35. “There are different kinds of love, and I’d never experienced that kind of totally platonic love. All the love I’ve experienced has always been a kind of deal, and now, as I get older, I realise that there’s this other love out there.” – Tracey Emin
36. “I do believe men and women can share healthy, long-lasting platonic relationships.” – Raveena Tandon
37. “The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart.” – Elisabeth Foley
38. “Surrender the vert platonic bond tying your soul to mine craft, the sky fades a pink shadow cast.” – Bradley Chicho
39. “I have a great pack of female friends, but I also have a lot of guy friends. I believe that a platonic relationship is entirely possible.” – Olivia Wilde
40. “Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.” – Anais Nin
Final Thoughts
Platonic intimacy (platonic love) is one of the most powerful connections in the world.
It’s impossible to experience platonic love if you’re not willing to give selflessly without asking for anything in return.
In a world of fake ideals, fake friends, complex romances, and artificial happiness, platonic love seems to be the only way to experience ultimate love in its purest form.