Stop Lying To Yourself: If He Doesn’t Treat You Well Now, He Never Will
You are someone who believes in the good in people. A girl who has faith that her love is this omnipotent force which can change and fix the ones who need saving.
You are an optimistic girl who believes in a better tomorrow, even if it’s against all odds. A girl who believes that things always find a way of sorting themselves out, one way or another.
This is especially the case when it comes to your romantic relationship. Even though everyone keeps telling you that your boyfriend isn’t good enough for you, you choose to ignore them. Not only that—you also choose to ignore your intuition and that little voice in the back of your head, telling you that he never deserved you and never will.
So, despite the way he’s been treating you, you keep on hoping that eventually he’ll change. You keep on hoping that one of these days, things will magically fall into place and that he’ll turn into the man you hope for him to become.
That one of these days, he’ll realize how much you mean to him, that he’ll realize how much pain he’s been causing you all along and just like that—he’ll start treating you differently. That he’ll start regretting the way he keeps on breaking your heart and that he’ll finally take responsibility for his actions. That one of these days, he’ll understand all of his mistakes and that he’ll do everything in his power to change his ways.
I know you want things with this man to work out in the best possible way. I know you want this relationship to succeed and I know you really hope it will.
Nevertheless, all of this doesn’t give you the right to lie to yourself. It doesn’t give you the right to close your eyes to the obvious truth and to keep looking for excuses for this guy’s behavior. It doesn’t justify the fact that you keep lying to yourself just so you could continue being with him.
However, this is exactly what you’ve been doing. You’ve been living a lie and you’ve been deceiving yourself, believing that this man will eventually change.
You refuse to look the truth in the eye and see him for who he really is. You refuse to accept the fact that things won’t be different and that he won’t miraculously become your dream guy.
No, he isn’t going through a rough patch—this is the real him. No, this is not a phase—this is how things between the two of you will look forever unless you put a stop to this relationship.
So please, stop lying to yourself. Stop waiting for a change that will never happen and accept the reality, no matter how harsh or painful it might be.
Please, take your rose-tinted glasses off and see this man’s true colors. See that he will never treat you the way you deserve and that he will never give you the love you need.
Let’s face it—most of the time, this man acts like he doesn’t give a damn about your relationship. He treats you like his second choice, he doesn’t give you the place you deserve in his life and he doesn’t respect you the way he should.
Most of the time, this man treats you like he doesn’t care about you. So, why exactly don’t you start believing him?
When will you stop getting your hopes up? When will you stop expecting that he will get his shit together and start giving you the love and attention you need? What does it take for him to do for you to stop giving him endless second chances, for you to stop believing his empty promises and for you to stop putting your life on hold, while waiting for him to change?
What does it take for you to understand that if he doesn’t treat you the way he should now, chances are that he never will? If he isn’t putting any effort into your relationship now, he probably never will. If he doesn’t love you enough now, that won’t change in the future.
Please, stop thinking that one of these days, he’ll wake up and suddenly come to his senses. Stop waiting for him to see your true worth and for him to start appreciating everything you’ve been giving him because that will never happen.
Please, don’t waste any more of your time or efforts on someone who clearly doesn’t deserve you. Instead, pack your bags and leave his sorry ass in the past, where he belongs. Trust me—it will be the best decision of your life.
A teacher. A dreamer. A writer. A woman who’s been through all of the things you are going through. A woman who’s learned on her mistakes and whose advice you can trust. A woman who is trying to find her place under the stars. A woman just like you.