The truth is, when you fall in love with someone, you become blind. Everything seems perfect, idyllic. You look each other in the eye for hours, you kiss passionately, you laugh, the time flies and you’re happy together.
He becomes everything you ever wanted and you wait every second for someone to wake you up from this dream. Your life becomes a fairy tale where you’re treated like a queen, until you realize that it is not.
I used to live in a fairy tale, too. I loved somebody who was perfect in my eyes. He had everything. The manners of a gentleman, a sensitive side and a big, protective heart. He would do everything to make me feel special and surprise me when I least expected it.
I loved him with all of my heart, body, and soul and I thought to myself: This is it! Real love must feel like this! Being unable to sleep at night because you can’t wait for the new day, to hear his voice and be next to him. Acting childishly in front of each other because you feel like you’ve just been born.
It’s like you’ve been waiting all this time for the moment when you’ll discover the beauty of love. You feel like nothing can separate you no matter what because you would never let anyone ruin what you have. You feel blessed.
Until one moment when you realize that the person you love is no longer the same person you fell for.
All of a sudden, he changed completely. His actions were no longer the actions of the man I fell in love with. I barely recognized him. He no longer made an effort to make me feel special like he used to do before.
At first, I refused to believe that this was all true because I was afraid that someone would wake me up from my dream, my fairy tale. I was constantly finding excuses for his behavior because I didn’t want to believe that he’d changed. I didn’t want to believe that his love toward me had all of a sudden turned into something incomprehensible to me. Something indifferent that was totally unlike him.
And then, it struck me. When I looked him in the eye, I felt coldness in my heart. Like I was looking at some stranger’s eyes that I had never seen before. I realized that he was no longer the same person with whom I’d been acting childishly and who would hug me so strong that I thought I was going to suffocate.
He wasn’t the person who would make an effort to do anything for me to make me happy.
I was no longer his priority. I’d become his option. It was so hard to believe that all of this was going through my brain. It was so hard to accept the fact that nothing would ever be the same.
When you invest all of yourself into something you believe is meant to stay, it’s hard to think otherwise. It’s hard to accept crumbs once you’ve experienced the real thing.
The worst thing of all is the feeling of powerlessness. When your world is falling apart in front of your eyes and there’s nothing you can do. You wish you could go back and erase every single kiss, hug and gesture made by him so that it doesn’t remind you of the good days you once had.
Your brain is occupied by the one question that will always stay unanswered: What changed? Did you love him too much so that he’d become scared of your love? Did you do something wrong that caused him to change his mind about you? Did you become too hard to love? Did you ask for too much?
Over time, you realize that none of this is true. You are not the reason why he changed. The only reason why he’s no longer the same person you fell for lies in the amount of his efforts. The truth is that he no longer cares enough to treat you like his queen.
He decided to discard everything you had because he didn’t want to continue building it. He became a stranger who will always remind you of the man he once used to be. He became a memory.
I’m a former English language major, copy typing freelancer and between the two I’ve always enjoyed drawing (abstract art), singing and writing. Yes, I’m an artistic soul that always wanted to make the world a better place. Today I’m lucky to be the writer on this site and to share my deepest thoughts with you and support you through your daily struggles. I hope we’re gonna get along and I’ll give my best not to disappoint you. XOXO