First kiss, first relationship, first love… I’m sure you still remember that intense feeling of butterflies chasing each other in your stomach right before you were about to meet your loved one—your first loved one.
You were so anxious about impressing them that you spent the whole afternoon changing outfits and hairstyles and desperately matching the right shade of your nail polish or lipstick and many other things (if you’re a female, of course).
And then, when you were finally together, everything seemed like a fairy tale because it was the first time you were so madly in love with someone.
Your love story felt so exciting, the infatuation was so intense and all of a sudden, real life stopped existing.
First love is like the first spring when everything awakens and you enter the realm of beauty, bliss and excitement. You feel enchanted.
And because of that, first loves often teach us very little about love or ourselves.
We’re so mesmerized by the magic of it that we forget to pay attention to all those things that really matter.
We forget to question our choices, to contemplate about how to make our relationship better, to work on improving ourselves and similar.
For these reasons, sometimes your second love comes as a second chance, where we learn how to fight for true love and improve things because the second time around, we are wiser, bolder and tougher.
After a heartbreak and letting go of our first love, we become aware of everything that went wrong, of our every word and every action.
The second time, when we’re in our second relationship, we know perfectly well what we’re looking for and what we expect in return.
Your first love, the first person you love, teaches you valuable lessons and prepares you for the great love that you’re about to experience.
And that’s why the second person is the right person and sometimes even your soulmate. That’s why your second love may be the greatest one of all.
Regardless of whether your second love lasts forever or lasts only a short time, here is a list of perfectly legit reasons why your second love is the greatest one of all!
1. You’re no longer naive
Falling in love for the first time is more like falling off a cliff into unknown waters, where you need to learn to swim against dangerous currents in order to survive and get the best of it.
It’s a whole new world that no one could prepare you for.
Social media, TV shows and movies greatly influence the concept of love and that’s where a clash occurs.
By observing those perfect romances where two people live idyllic lifestyle, kiss in the rain, never or seldom ever fight, give each other luxurious gifts instead of DIY gifts and so on, we get the wrong picture of what love really is.
We connect love with a series of perfect moments and that’s why we expect the same thing to happen to us.
But in reality, love is something totally different and your first love teaches you that.
When you fall in love for the first time, you realize that things are not as idyllic as you expected them to be.
Soon, you find yourself pretending that you enjoy playing video games with them just for the sake of showing your support, you find yourself annoyed by some things you didn’t even expect would bother you and you realize that love is so much more than just a perfect sequence of romantic events.
You implement that realization into your second love because you’re then no longer naive. After your first love, you create your own definition of love.
2. You understand the pain of a broken heart
One of the biggest reasons why your second love is the greatest love of all is because by now, you understand the pain of a broken heart.
Now, let me elaborate on this.
Your first love broke your heart and made you vulnerable.
You probably refused to go out for a few days or have any kind of interaction with human beings, you refused to eat or you ate a little bit more than usual, you cried, you cursed life and you swore that you’d never love again, no matter what.
And after all that, once you meet your second love, you’re aware of all the potential drama and depression after a heartbreak and your decision to still go for it and be vulnerable is the epitome of greatness in the whole story.
You knowingly and wholeheartedly decide to open yourself up to another human being, even though you’re aware of the fact that they might break your heart, just like your first love did.
And that’s why your second love is so much greater than your first love.
That realization is what makes your connection ten times more intense and stronger; the realization that you may end up going through the same painful heartbreak again but still indulging in it because you feel it’s the right thing to do.
3. You’re older now
The majority of people experienced their first love during high school, college or somewhere in-between.
And now that you’re older, you’re automatically wiser and bolder.
Your perspective on things including love have changed and you’re more mature in every segment of your life.
For example, in high school, your biggest concern was prom or whether your loved one would fit in with your crew.
College has its own challenges, where you need to deal with more serious things than prom or what your colleagues would think about your beloved.
Basically, the older you are, the more serious you will be in a relationship. You enter the world of finances, your job, and other things that require a certain level of maturity.
Along with that, your perspective about your love life and relationships change as well.
When you were in love for the first time, you were happy going to the cinema with your loved one, stargazing or making fools out of yourselves in the middle of nowhere.
Your love was carefree and wild. But now that you’re older, you aren’t satisfied with mediocre love or trivial romance.
Instead of seeking that carefree feeling, you seek security, reciprocity, understanding, compassion and respect.
And that’s why your second love is the greatest one of all.
It teaches you the difference between fake ideals and the right values that need to be implemented in love and in your relationship if you want it to be successful and unconditional.
4. Your second love is less stressful and more ‘sane’
When you fall in love for the first time, you experience everything ten times more intensely because it’s new and because you have no idea what you should be doing, saying or similar.
You spend an eternity next to your phone waiting for them to text you back and in the process of waiting, you curse everything in the world because you feel betrayed, hurt and disappointed.
Your first love makes you really crazy and driven by that feeling of craziness, you tend to do some crazy things as well.
If they don’t text you back for a few hours, you decide to go see them just to see that everything’s fine and that they’re not cheating on you or similar.
Your wild hormones, emotions and the intense feeling of belonging to another human being force you to do things you never thought of doing.
But with your second love, everything changes (well, at least to a certain degree) because your second love is less stressful and more ‘sane’.
Since you already went through all those critical situations with your first love, you will definitely not repeat the same mistakes again and you will experience everything with an amount of calmness.
You won’t react like a crazy beast if they don’t reply the same second because now you have more understanding and you know that things are not always as they seem. You know that everything’s in your head.
5. You don’t make the same mistakes as with your first love
As already said, entering the world of your first love is like entering an unknown world as an inexperienced human being.
So, it’s totally normal that you and your beloved probably made some terrible and not-so-terrible mistakes when you were in the process of falling for each other and creating your storyline—realizing what was really going on and what love really was.
Those mistakes taught you a thing or two and now you definitely won’t repeat them with your second love.
You won’t let the other person take you for granted or vice versa, you will seek respect and reciprocity, you won’t be jealous for no reason, you won’t hold grudges for an eternity, you will learn the importance of being patient in critical situations and similar.
Your second love also shows you that you can be someone’s first choice instead of a second choice.
If infidelity or them taking you for granted in one way or another was the reason for your break-up with your first love, your second love will bring back your lost hope.
6. You’re able to easily predict when someone is full of shit
If you’ve dated someone who cheated on you or treated you badly, after them, you’re able to easily predict when someone is full of shit.
You see, it’s so easy to get lost in the realm of your first love because everything’s new and you have no idea how to react at certain moments.
For example, you’re aware of the fact that they’re not treating you right but you still don’t do anything about it because you think that they will change, that you should give them a second chance or you constantly look for excuses to justify their shitty behavior toward you.
You do all this because you don’t really know what you’re ought to do and there’s certainly not a first love manual, even though it would be really good if it existed.
So, you do what you think is right to do and you often make a mistake and harm yourself in the process.
Your second love doesn’t have space for that. Given that your first love was like a trial period, your second love is destined to be greater because now that you’ve learned a lot, you’ll easily predict when someone is full of shit and now you’ll do the right thing.
7. You’re more guarded
One of the weird reasons why your second love is the greatest one of all is because you’re more guarded.
Yes, it sounds really weird and incomprehensible but it’s true and here’s why.
When you fall in love for the first time, you’re not prepared for what is about to happen.
You’re not prepared for all the good things, let alone for all the bad things that are about to surprise you and become a part of your everyday life.
And that’s why you with your first love, you are wild and free.
You don’t worry about any potential dangers of opening yourself up to another human being, you don’t worry about being vulnerable, about mind games, manipulations or being taken for granted.
And once you go through some of these or all of them, you become more guarded in the future.
And that’s the real beauty of your second love.
You become more protective of your heart and thus you require more effort and reassurance from other people when it comes to opening yourself up again and showing your vulnerable side.
All of that makes your second love a lot more special than the first one or any other.
8. You feel free to be who you really are
By witnessing all those TV series or couples on social media or in movies, you get the wrong idea about how a relationship should look or how you should behave in one.
You think that everything must be perfect and that you must be perfect if you want your love to survive and withstand any potential dangers.
All of a sudden, you start noticing all of your flaws and quirks more than before and you become afraid of showing the real you, of being who you really are in a relationship.
You are insecure with your first love because you don’t really understand the principles of love and how things should go down.
After that, you no longer give a shit about perfection or anything similar to that because you feel free to be who you really are. That’s why your second love feels more casual and cozy.
You don’t really bother with whether you’ve matched your nail polish with your socks (if you’re female) or whether you’re perfectly shaved at any time of the day or night (if you’re male).
You accept the fact that you’re an imperfect human being and that love is not about creating perfection but about being imperfectly perfect together.
9. You’re still optimistic
It’s really hard to stay optimistic after your first heartbreak but do you know what’s even harder? Staying optimistic after a few heartbreaks.
So, that’s one of the reasons why your second love is just perfect.
No matter how broken you are after your first love, you still have that silver lining within you reminding you that it’s not the end of the world and that one day, when you wake up, you’ll realize that this is just the beginning of a journey called life.
You’re still optimistic about finding the real one and experiencing real love, aka true love.
And no matter how many days you’ve spent being miserable in your bed, you still don’t lose hope that one day you’ll meet your second love, who will be the greatest one of all.
10. You’re aware of the risks but you still go for it
And when your second love finds you, you’re perfectly aware of the risk of falling in love again but you still go for it. And that’s the real magic and beauty of love.
You’re aware of the fact that your second love might bring you the same worries or heartbreak and make you feel like you’re the crazy one but you still go for it.
You go for it because deep down in your heart, you got addicted to the feeling of totally belonging to another human being.
And you hope. You hope that the next human being, that the next relationship, will be the one.
The real one. And you know that if you don’t try, you’ll never know the outcome of it.
So, you wipe away your tears, mend your broken heart, wear an invisible bulletproof vest and hope for the best.
11. The second heartbreak hurts a little less
Before your first love, your heart wasn’t familiar with the amount of pain that it can endure, with the amount of tears that your eyes can produce or with the amount of loneliness and disappointment that you can feel.
After your first love, you go through this process of grieving, yearning and cursing everything and everyone around you.
Your body and mind go through tremendous changes and the only thing you can think of is: I will never love again.
Of course, you say that only because you’re driven by the pain of your first love, even though you know that you will love again and that it is just a matter of time.
Given that your body and mind have already gone through the pain caused by your first love, you become more resilient, meaning the second heartbreak will hurt a little less (if it comes to it).
As a matter of fact, every future heartbreak will hurt a little less than the previous one because you’re kind of mentally prepared for the whole grieving process or for the worst.
12. Your second love gives you the reassurance that you’ll love again
After your first love ends, you get convinced that you’ll never love again or that every future love will be of lower intensity.
Your second love has the opposite effect.
It gives you the reassurance that you’ll love again (of course, that is if you don’t marry your second love).
The fact that you were able to survive the heartbreak caused by your first love and that you were able to heal gives you the promise that you’ll be able to do it again if needed.
The fact that you were able to open yourself up again to another human being gives you the reassurance that you’ll be able to do it again.
Once you know all of that, you no longer worry about being forever alone or about being forever stuck in the process of letting go.
Your second love brings you hope of better days and the promise that everything that happens, happens for a reason.
It brings you wisdom, understanding, and patience.
Your second love proves to you that your heart is stronger than you thought, that you can rise no matter how hard you fall and that’s why it’s the greatest one of all.
See also: True Love Is Supposed To Heal, Not Hurt