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Not Sure If You Are Settling In Your Relationship? Watch Out For These Signs

Not Sure If You Are Settling In Your Relationship? Watch Out For These Signs

Have you ever listened to your friend talk about her boyfriend or husband and thought: “Oh God, she could do much better than that.” Yeah, you are not alone. Nine times out of ten you were probably right because you noticed patterns that had red flag written all over it. 

My mom always used to say:

“Never settle for a man because you feel sorry for him or you’re scared of being alone.” Let me tell you, that woman was completely right. I swear, someone should give her a talk show!

Of course, no one wants to settle but we often get lost in the labyrinth of toxic experiences. This sometimes happens because we don’t even notice that right away. It looks like the famous phrase that love makes us blind is true after all!

If these red flags sound familiar, run!

Thank God for TikTok because @ladylikelifeshop shared her view on what the most common red flags are, that can actually help you realize whether you’re settling or not!

You know those couples who caption their pictures: “We had our ups and downs, it wasn’t always easy…” Yeah, think twice before saying they are “couple goals” and an inspiration. 

@ladylikelifeshop explains:

“Life is hard and life can happen to your relationship. Your relationship should not be hard.”

I wish I realized this earlier! Even if we had a hard period with someone, it’s important to know the reasons behind it. 

Maybe we experienced some difficulties outside of our relationship, like the loss of a loved one, an illness, or something else that happened unexpectedly.

Things we don’t have control over can occur sometimes, and that is fine. The problem is when you’re miserable because of your relationship! I ain’t judging, we’ve all been there.

The woman continues to explain how she doesn’t agree with people saying that the first year of marriage is the hardest because it shouldn’t be. The first thing I thought when she said that was – say it louder for the people in the back!

There are ways to prevent that like making sure you really get to know the person you will spend the rest of your life with. This should be logical, right?

In another TikTok, she listed some of the red flags in a relationship that aren’t talked about enough. To be honest, when I watch videos like this one, I sometimes feel like she’s describing my past relationships (maybe we should make a support group?).


#stitch with @eringibney let’s talk about it! Part gossip, part advice 🤪

♬ original sound – Lady Like Life Store

Unfortunately, she was the victim of the same things she is warning us about. As Pitbull would say: “Believe me, been there, done that.” She admitted she also didn’t realize she was settling in her previous long-term relationship until they broke up.

It’s like we all magically see all the warning signs after we get out of the relationship. She explained the first sign:

“When you are compatible with someone, you will barely ever fight, and when you disagree over something it’s a totally different type of disagreement because there is no resentment anywhere.”

Besides this, @ladylikelifeshop mentions that it’s never right if someone wants to change you. Not in a way for you to be a better person, but literally change your personality, the way you dress, and so on.

Another thing that’s very important is to make sure you’re on the same page when it comes to your plans. It’s something you should discuss at the beginning of your relationship. As she said:

“You have to be able to live in a way that is compatible with your goals, both of you, without having to nag him every single day, or it will not work.”

I couldn’t agree more with her tips! Maybe she can join my mom on a talk show, or maybe the two of them can lead our support group?

A healthy relationship brings peace, not chaos

I’ve never been more thankful for social media and TikToker @oldsoulentries is part of the reason! She added additional perspective based on her own personal experience. 

Kristen had a chance to see examples of both good and bad relationships and therefore she was very strict (as she should) when it came to finding her perfect match.

She wanted to be sure she didn’t lower her standards just for the sake of being in a relationship. I think someone should give this woman a trophy already!

In her video, Kristen added that she didn’t understand couples who were saying that “moving in stage” is not all colors and rainbows because she couldn’t relate. Apparently, God has its favorites! As she said:

“If you are with the right person I genuinely believe it’s like having a sleepover with your best friend every single day. We just laugh, we have fun together, we accomplish and tackle things together. If you are questioning things and if you’re not having fun living with this person…that’s probably a big sign that you might be settling.”


What “don’t settle” actually means!! @Lady Like Life Store such a great explanation #mindset #gratitudemindset #relationshipadvice #relationships

♬ original sound – Kristen 🌞🌿🌎🌻

Kristen continues on to explain that the secret to a long and healthy relationship or marriage is in making sure your other half knows how much you appreciate them. She said:

“I think that gratitude and expressing gratitude to the other person every single day is like the biggest connection point you can have. It never gets old, you can never do too much!”

Her followers agreed with her and shared their experiences (some would say trauma) as well. One user wrote something we should put in the books: 

“Your partnership should be your refuge and bring you peace! If it doesn’t, they’re not the right one.”

At the end of the day, having self-respect is the root of having a good partnership as well. If you constantly tolerate toxic behavior just so you can have that date on Saturday, then you need to check yourself!

By changing ourselves for the better, we can also change our lives. Others can fully love us, only when we truly love ourselves. That right there is your secret ingredient for healthy love!