You. Yes, you.
With your tired soul and your scarred heart. With your broken pieces and the thought in your head that it should be like this.
Yes, you. It’s time for you to finally choose yourself.
It must be hard for you to believe that there is life after him. After those stupid, violent arguments and after all those times he pulled you back into his world, without you even realizing it.
You have tried too many times to leave but I guess after those countless times, you have decided that it’s easier to stay than to deal with his anger.
It didn’t take you long to realize that he only had two expressions on his face when he talked to you.
Either he wasn’t even looking at you while talking, making you feel invisible and unimportant. Or it was that bloodthirsty anger while he was trying to show you that you were nothing more than a pawn in his little game.
I am truly sorry that you had to go through this. I am so sorry that you couldn’t choose yourself for far too long now.
But there is no greater importance right now than to take your kindness, your love and your life as far away from him as you can.
You know that he is not the one you should have fallen for. But whenever he tells you that he is the one who ‘saved you’, the one who is making you ‘a woman’, you back down.
Do you really think that he is the one doing the saving? He craves you more and he needs you more than you will ever need him.
He needs to know that he can always have you because the thought of you leaving drives him crazy.
The moment you put one foot on the other side of the door, the moment you decide to never look back again, your life will change.
But you will never be the same you again.
After a while of isolation, working on yourself and your traumas, you will still find yourself afraid of arguments, afraid of raised voices and the way someone will look at you.
You will find yourself wondering if things will ever be the same as before and let me tell you that they won’t.
But that’s fine.
The sooner you leave, the better it will be.
Choosing yourself over your abusive relationship is facing what happened and saying that it is OK.
You couldn’t have done anything different at that time and asking yourself ‘what if’ won’t do you any good.
It’s OK because you will never again find yourself in that same situation and there will never be anyone else telling you that you are unworthy.
There are very few out there going through the same things as you are and they never end up choosing themselves.
But you have always had the strength to get through the toughest times as a winner, so this is the right time to stand up and tell yourself that you are more in love with who you will become than with a man who doesn’t know how to love you.
Choose yourself. Choose yourself because you deserve to be someone’s priority, finally.
Choose yourself because it’s finally time to respect yourself enough and to start from the very beginning.
Right now it might be strange to you, because a life without him is something you are not used to. But when the aftermath is over, once you start blooming again, you will see that everything you went through was worth it.
The moment you decide to choose yourself over his abuse is when you will realize that there was nothing holding you back from doing this much sooner.
But what is important for you right now is to love yourself and keep on choosing yourself for the rest of your life because that is the proper way to live, without anyone ever having the nerve to treat you like you’re something less.
I hope that you will be able to see your own life in another light, to see yourself the way you truly are and not the way he made you see yourself.
I hope that one morning you will wake up and realize that choosing yourself is an act of self-love, more powerful than anything else.
I also hope more than anything else that you will never go back to the man who did this to you. To the man who never made you feel like you were enough.
I hope that, when the day is right, once some time has passed and you feel safe again, someone will touch you gently and with all the love in the world.
I hope that this new man who you let into your life never makes you feel the way you have felt all this time. Because this man will love you and be kind and caring.
He will be all the things you have ever wished for in a man.<
But you can’t get that if you don’t choose yourself.
Today and every single day that follows.