Having anxiety is like constantly having someone whispering thoughts into your ear. Intrusive thoughts.
They come out of nowhere and repeat themselves again and again.
You can’t do it. That’s too hard for you. Stop, you’ll just complicate things. They’re looking at you. Maybe you shouldn’t have done that. Why didn’t you do it?
It goes on and on. With anxiety, every part of your life becomes a struggle. Everything is a potential trigger.
Talking to cashiers, answering the phone, ordering food, paying the bills, small talk, going to work, bumping into people from your past and don’t let me even start on crippling 3 AM thoughts about that one time when you embarrassed yourself in fifth grade.
Every single thing takes so much time to do because you need to rewind and fast forward all of the possible scenarios in your head before you do anything… and then you worry about wasting your time.
It’s simply exhausting. It never stops. You feel like an outdated, overworked engine; using energy but for what?
At the end of the day, you’re exhausted by seemingly doing nothing. That’s where the guilt kicks in.
Anxiety makes you feel abnormal. Living with anxiety is like going through life doing everything everyone else does but for you, it’s ten times harder and you don’t know why.
Why does it seem so easy for everyone else? There must be something wrong with you. You’re such a difficult person.
Maybe you should go and talk to someone about it? Or rather not, as they’ll think you’re just making a scene over nothing. Does this train of thought sound familiar?
Little by little, you distance yourself, start canceling events and making excuses and you end up alone in the little bubble your anxiety has created for you.
A lack of understanding, loneliness, a sudden feeling of being unlovable and forever broken all start to overwhelm you.
You feel like a burden to everyone around you… and you barely talk to them about your problems. This is where the self-hate kicks in.
For that reason, I’m writing this to tell you: Your mind is blatantly lying to you.
You are not unlovable; in fact, underneath your think-twice-before-you-speak, procrastination because of fear, letting others finish their sentences and never saying yours is an extremely lovable and very observant person.
A person who feels and notices everything; someone who is sensitive and attentive to other people’s states of mind and feelings.
Besides that, you’re very aware of yourself, introspective and living in an environment that makes you (and most other people) overstimulated.
Your mind is under pressure almost all the time and since it’s not an on/off thing, you can’t just stop feeling altogether.
What you can do is start making an effort to choose which things are worthy of your attention and your energy. Start being more selective.
Give yourself permission to slow down, relax and take things more lightly.
It’s easy to forget that life shouldn’t be so serious all the time. Try exploring your priorities and making some sort of list that’s going to remind you to be more mindful of the energy you spend on certain things or people.
Having anxiety isn’t something you’re sentenced to. You can prevent it from taking over you and for that, you need will, effort and trust in yourself—all things available.
It’s not going to be easy but it is one hundred percent possible. Awaken your fighter spirit and fight your lying mind.
Instead of controlling your thoughts, stop them from controlling you. Let them go. Let them go and continue on your way.
Thoughts are temporary and they don’t make you. You make you.
Be gentle with yourself and thank yourself for being strong. Look at yourself in the mirror every day and say: You’re enough.
Don’t let irrational fears kill the beautiful in you because the beauty in you is what makes the real you.