Your first question when you stumble onto somebody who has a guarded personality might be: “What is wrong with this person?”.
May I share a little secret with you? There is nothing wrong with guarded people. It’s just that their past has made them that way.
They are not any different from you and me, except they hide a guarded heart scared of being hurt once again.
A person with a guarded personality might have discomfort in showing affection towards you or anybody else.
It’s just that (s)he doesn’t really feel like hugging you nor being too close.
When you hug a person, you are promising comfort and perhaps friendship intentionally, and a guarded person is pretty much aware of it.
It might be the case that (s)he refuses to bond with you in such a way because she’s running away from any close affection.
Also, people who are considered as loners might just be people with a guarded personality.
See, they are selectively social, they might hang around you, but only as long as they are comfortable around you. They need to trust you in order to open up to you.
The thing is they don’t really like to waste their energy nor time on people who don’t matter that much to them.
They choose their friends wisely, and they might be perceived as social loners.
A bit paradoxical, I know.
It’s just that they are social, but only when they choose to be so.
On the other hand, that is why they don’t have a big group of friends, but those who’ve earned a place in their lives are the best friends a person could wish for.
People with a guarded personality are often mysterious but not intentionally.
They don’t like sharing their privacy with anybody, and they rarely invite you into their worlds.
There is a certain zone that can never be crossed because they like to shield themselves.
The truth is, they don’t want you to be interested in their lives; it’s not the reason they behave the way they behave.
You get as much cake as they let you. You’ll probably have a rough time finding any info about them on social media, and don’t even try bugging their friends to ask for any info.
You will be denied it. Their personal information is theirs to keep. If you want to get close to them, you’ll have to earn it.
Your only opportunity to know what’s going on in their world will be when, and if, they decide to let you in.
They are, most often, scared of their own emotions.
They perceive the world in a bit of a different way. They have incredibly intense emotions and often so many questions in their head that they’re afraid of showing to others.
Their trust has been tampered with, and they have been hurt. That’s the reason for the extra layer of protection around them.
It’s like a small universe inside their heads.
It even gets worse when they hide their feelings and stop them from getting out. Once their emotions find a way to come to light, it’s like a volcanic eruption, and you’ll probably get surprised by it.
That will be the first time you’ll see that human being acting strange and seemingly ‘out of order’.
Guarded persons are comfortable on their own.
That’s the main reason you can’t buy them with promises or sweet talk. They’ve seen that one too many times in their lives, and it has always ended up in heartbreak.
What you can do is show in your actions all those things you’ve promised, and you might even get a chance to be welcomed into their mysterious world.
Because of the previous experience they had with other people, guarded ones are capable of reading your intentions easily.
So, if you have something sneaky in mind, you should just move along.
Thanks to their failed past relationships, they are trained to recognize new potentially dangerous romantic relationships.
It’s pointless to even try to sneak your way into their lives.
This personality type has one big problem, though.
They don’t instantly see your good intentions, only the bad ones. Even if they notice your good emotions instantly, it’s highly unlikely they’ll react to them.
It’s just that the dose of distrust is always boiling in them, and it takes time for them to get used to other people. This is the personality trait that describes introverts to the bone.
They are like this because they know not everyone means well.
I’ve mentioned this a couple of times so far, but it’s the essential personality trait that makes them so unique and interesting.
Before they start any new relationship, they will assess what could happen if they open up their heart to a total stranger.
As I’ve already said, first they will assume only the bad things and who are you to blame them?
What they’re assuming about people, in general, is not that far from the truth. Some people are indeed out to get you.
Whether it’s because they are jealous of you, or they simply don’t like you—it doesn’t matter. Their goal is to hurt you in any way they know how.
A guarded person is one step ahead of those people because they’ve already been through this unpleasant experience.
Therefore, this explains them being extra cautious and acting all ‘weird’.
What everybody fails to understand is that guarded people are not born like that.
They are the very consequence of their pasts and everything they have been through.
It’s a long process of betrayal and disappointment in others that has brought them to the spot they are to be found in today.
Deep down, they still have love for others. They are funny and extremely sociable, but only if you’re worthy.
If they get to know you and decide not to welcome you into their lives, it’s because they see you for who you truly are.
However, if you are among those lucky ones to be welcomed into their world, then you have an opportunity to mean the world to them, but only if you deserve it.
What would never be forgiven is your betrayal of them.
If you get to that spot of trust with them, then you’re among the few privileged ones, and you shouldn’t take advantage of it.
Your kindness is more than welcomed, but don’t push it. Let things fall into their places and be the backbone to a guarded person.
Only then, you’ll truly gain a companion for a lifetime.