If I could just peek into his mind and see what he is thinking. Is he thinking about me at all? Does he know the color of my eyes and the way in which my freckles form a Milky Way on my nose? Why does he feel so close at one moment and so distant in the next? Is he fighting his feelings or is he just stringing me along?
Millions of questions must be running nonstop through your mind when you find yourself hooked on that one unattainable man. For you, there is no other like him in this world. Nobody can awaken your feelings and make you feel as alive as he can.
On the other hand, nobody can make you feel as down as he can either. Tears roll down your face every time you are alone, waiting for him to show up when he said he would…when you fall asleep without that text goodnight because he forgot to send it…when you are left for too long without his hugs.
You measure the time in the moments you have spent with and without him. When you are with him, time flies and your heart beats so loudly that he can hear it. It feels like a dream that ends too soon every time. But when he is away, minutes feels like hours, hours like days and days feel like an eternity.
But he doesn’t have your sense of time. He doesn’t mind that you are waiting for him. He doesn’t know that he is hurting you—or he does but he doesn’t care. He is not rushing to see you. He doesn’t make time for you and everything else seems to come first. Everything else is more important and it’s killing you.
He will come after you when you stop going after him. He will text when he sees your text is not coming. He will ask you out when you stop asking for his time. He will come and see you when you start thinking that he will never show up again. He will miss you when you are no longer available. He will chase after you as soon as he feels you are slipping through his fingers, but as soon as he catches you, he loses interest.
Don’t allow him to catch you if he has no intention to stay. Don’t allow it if he has no strength to hold on tight. You don’t need a part-time lover and half-assed commitments. You don’t need a man who is going to be there only when it’s convenient…only when he feels lonely and in need of a woman’s touch. You deserve more.
You deserve so much more than he is giving you and it’s time you admit it to yourself. You deserve someone who will be able to commit, someone who will be sure about his feelings and show them in words or actions.
His unattainability might have been interesting at first. But you always hoped that he would change. The crumbs he was serving you might have been enough at first, but they are not now. You want more now—more of his time, efforts, investments and reciprocity.
Stop thinking that you are asking for too much. You are just asking to get back what you are already giving to him—nothing more and nothing less. You can’t be the only one who makes all the efforts. You can’t be the one who always loves more.
You deserve so much more. You will have so much more. But not with him. You have to let him go and find your happiness elsewhere. Start finding it within yourself and one day, somebody worthy will come along to add to your bliss.
Don’t stay somewhere where you are not appreciated. Don’t let him come in and out of your life like you are a stop along the way. Don’t waste your time on someone who has one foot out of the door at all times. Break the spell he has on you and see him for who he really is.
Don’t chase someone unattainable. Guard your heart for the man who is going to be all in. The man who won’t play games and be only partially involved. The man who will never make you feel like you are alone in all of this. The one you can trust. The one who is ready to be all that you need.