Your ex is in your past for a reason, right? So the next time you start getting ideas regarding letting him back in your life, quickly remind yourself of this. Because dragging yourself back into the life with him that you left behind is always a bad idea.
Resist the urge to contact him for whatever reason you tell yourself. You don’t need that shit back in your world.
Sometimes, focusing on the bright future that is ahead of you is all the motivation you need to leave past mistakes where they belong – in the past.
Stop focusing on your ex and start focusing on you!
For as long as your priorities are messed up, you are never going to heal and move on the way you’re supposed to.
Seeing the guy it took you so long to break up with can only bring back the nostalgia in you and make you swiftly forget all about the red flags that made you break up in the first place.
I understand that it’s hard. Even if you were the one calling it quits. There are always residual feelings lurking somewhere deep within you.
It can be suppressed anger about his shit that made you break it off. It can be sadness over the fact you couldn’t salvage what you believed was your forever love.
It can be an array of emotions that are eventually going to lead you to making a really bad decision! And once you’re back in that web of unhealthy behavioral patterns, it’s going to be twice as hard finding your way out once again.
Put yourself first. Put your emotions first. Listen to what your head is telling you. And we both know it isn’t telling you to call your ex.
So in order to remain in that good place post-breakup, it is essential that you not engage in any of the following habits when it comes to your ex. With time, you’ll see this was the best decision you ever made!
1. Never take revenge on your ex (let karma sort that shit out)
You know what they say: what goes around, comes back around. And they’re not wrong! Somehow, things always seem to fall into place.
Sure, it might take a bit longer at times, but those who do you harm will always get what they deserve.
So it’s better to just let karma take care of your ex, and worry about your own shit. It’s never smart to stoop to that level due to temporary anger.
In a few months, you’ll be as good as new, and you’ll be laughing about this. So find the strength within and let him go.
Revenge is not the solution here. It’s moving on and letting him see how well you’re doing. That’ll do the trick.
2. Never have sex with your ex
Jumping into bed with your ex is the biggest no-no! You might foolishly think it will bring you closer together again or that it will make him realize how much he misses you, but it’s the exact opposite!
It will give him the idea that you want a casual relationship with him, so he’ll still be sleeping with other girls as well as with you, and you’ll end up more broken than ever!
This will mess you up even more, trust me! You’ll get a taste of him again and you won’t want to let him go. And he’ll be doing his thing, completely over you, making you more miserable than ever.
3. Never stay friends with your ex
Don’t kid yourself into thinking you’re ready to have the guy you shared a bed with up until recently be your buddy. It sounds ridiculous, doesn’t it?
You can’t just switch off your emotions. You can’t just pretend he wasn’t the man you believed was your one up until a few weeks ago. And now you want to be buddies with him?
Heal first. Take care of yourself first. Talk about it with your best friends and get it all out. Cry your eyes out and watch as many rom-coms as you wish.
But don’t try to be his friend. It’s going to be excruciating. You’re not ready. Maybe one day, when your heart is whole again. But definitely not today.
4. Never text him when you’re feeling down
I know this sounds harsh, but it’s for your own good. Text your mom, your friends, or your sister!
But don’t text the man who caused you to feel this way. It’s not fair. Not to him, and especially not to you.
Things are the way they are for good reason. A desperate text at midnight isn’t going to change things.
Plus, you’ll only regret it in the morning. So leave your phone when you’re blue and put on some music. Lie on your bed and don’t think, just feel.
Cry if you want to, but put your phone away, unless it’s to text your friends. Feel your feelings and soon, you’ll be okay again. Not great… but well enough to know that texting him would’ve been the worst idea ever.
5. Never bash your ex in front of others
Be respectful of the time you shared together. For a while there, he was your number one. He was your man, your rock, and your confidante.
Just because it didn’t work out, doesn’t give you the right to badmouth him.
Imagine if he talked shit about you to other people. It would hurt, wouldn’t it? So simply don’t do it. When you get asked about him, politely say he’s a thing of the past now and you wish him nothing but the best, and walk away.
6. Never beg your ex to take you back
Don’t let your sadness make you do things you normally wouldn’t! Never beg anyone to be part of your life. You’re better than that.
Granted, you’re feeling like shit now, and this might seem like your last resort, but it’s the last thing you should ever do.
It will make him lose respect for you and change the way he sees you. You’re not yourself right now, and that’s okay. But stop yourself before you decide to beg him to take you back.
That will only give him power over you and might make him use your sadness for his own gain. Be strong and keep away. You’re not yourself right now, but I promise – you’ll get there!