You know how it’s easy to label someone as nice, chatty, and friendly, while someone else is cocky, rude and arrogant? Well, don’t do that anymore!
I know that we, as human beings, like definitions and crystal clear situations. And that’s really great. We would be lost in space without defining what space is. Not everything is simple to define but there is one thing that’s impossible—and that is ourselves.
I tried so hard to define who I wanted to be and how I wanted to act. I even made up a list of characteristics that I wanted to be known for. After that, I was trying to implement those characteristics in my behavior. And my curious mind wouldn’t let me finish that project.
I started noticing what others acted like and what their wishes were. I came to one very important conclusion: you cannot fight yourself.
There are millions of different emotions one can feel and express. And you really are not in a position to fight them all. Sometimes you’re angry, sometimes happy, other times you’re simply indifferent. People who saw you once in your life, and that happened to be when you were angry, will always remember you as ‘that angry girl’. And that’s completely fine. Feeling how you feel is part of who you are, and being yourself is okay. You can’t control how someone will remember you or what emotion they’re going to notice but you can control how you feel about it. Just let it go. It doesn’t matter if you’re ‘that angry girl’ to someone, because they will also be ‘that angry person’ to others. One human holds a whole spectrum of emotions and reactions and that makes him or her impossible to define.
I am angry, happy, depressed, satisfied, curious, crazy, arrogant, rude, cocky, nice, friendly, and a lot more. And I’m fine with it. I don’t need to define myself. All I need to do is let myself feel. I must let myself fully experience every emotion I have because that is what living is all about. When you let yourself feel, be certain that you’re alive.
Hermann Hesse once said: “Within you there is a stillness and sanctuary to which you can retreat at any time and be yourself,” and he was right. Your emotions are your best friends that live within you. Hold on to them. Make them a nice cup of tea and spend some time together. Make them your sanctuary and you’ll forever be feeling happiness the most.