When you hear the term ‘emotional masochist’, you instantly say to yourself that you can’t be like that.
Being an emotional masochist means that you enjoy getting emotional pain from others.
And bit by bit, you are starting to have flashbacks about your past and you can finally see why you are not happy with your life.
You are starting to see that for some strange reason, you also like pain but that it is something you simply can’t control.
You feel like you have been sad throughout all your life and that no matter what you have done, you have never truly been accepted by others, nor satisfied.
You are trying so hard to fight for yourself but in the end, you always choose people who are not so important in your life, sometimes even those who are mean to you.
And you don’t know why you have been doing all that. You don’t know why you are sabotaging your own chance to be happy.
And once again, you move to a fetus position and you cry your eyes out.
You feel so hopeless. You feel like someone else is running your life. You feel like you don’t have any control over yourself. Simply, you feel like shit.
If you recognize yourself in these sentences, chances are you are an emotional masochist.
Also, if you do all the things I will mention below, you can be sure about that. But you know what you also need to be sure about?
It is not the end of the world if you are an emotional masochist. It just means that you are a special kind of person. The one who is the worst for themselves.
The one who is good to all the people around them. The one who gets hurt in the end but at the same time, a person who has the greatest heart anyone has ever seen.
And the most important thing is that you can change whatever happens to you and make your life beautiful, like you deserve.
You tolerate people who treat you badly
How many times has it happened to you that you put others first? How many times have you felt neglected by the people who you put on a pedestal?
How many times have you ended up getting hurt while others didn’t see your tears?
If all this happened to you, you are an emotional masochist who simply can’t make themselves a priority.
You think that others deserve all the good things more than you and that you need to be patient until you get them.
And if you constantly think like that, you will get frustrated by all those negative emotions that are boiling up inside of you.
So, you better pump your brakes and, for a change, start thinking about yourself first.
Unless you do that, you won’t be able to imagine how your life will change for the better.
You listen to depressing songs
And this is the million dollar question! Why do you think you listen to depressing songs?
I will tell you why—because you are in that mood almost all the time and it is something you are most familiar with.
You listen to those songs because you can feel the pain in the songs I am talking about.
You can put yourself in the shoes of the person who sings them because you feel the same way they do.
And the thought that you are not alone makes you feel a bit, but just a bit, better.
I know we all sometimes listen to songs like that but if that is what you enjoy most of the time, then you are definitely an emotional masochist.
You are constantly sabotaging your own happiness
Has it ever happened to you that you finally felt like life was good and that everything was going smoothly and then in the blink of an eye, you ran away from all of that?
You stop yourself from your only chance of being happy and satisfied and while you keep running, you can’t understand why.
You only know that what is happening to you at that time is not something you are familiar with and you don’t know how to behave in situations like that.
And the worst part is that you really work hard for all those good things but in the end, you somehow manage to let them slip away.
This is also one proven sign of emotional masochism that can make you feel really desperate if you let it.
You know that you are hurting yourself but you can’t stop
If you know that you are not living a happy life but you don’t do anything about it, then you are an emotional masochist.
You find yourself pushing positive people away from yourself and being hurt by negative ones.
You simply feel that is something you need to do to grow spiritually but that is not true.
You are just not fighting for yourself enough because you are indifferent.
And once life takes its toll on you, it will be too late to fight. That’s why you need to start making changes as soon as you see that things are not like you wanted them to be.
You criticize yourself on a daily basis
There isn’t a day that goes by when you don’t tell yourself that you are incapable and that you should have done things differently.
You think that everything that goes wrong is because of you and you can’t shake off the feeling of being the guilty one.
You feel that someone else would have done the job better and that everyone hates you for being like that.
And negative thoughts like this keep rising all day and in the end, you can’t stand it anymore and you explode.
You can’t wait to run home, close yourself off in a room and cry. You simply can’t stop criticizing yourself and you end up hating yourself for being the way you are.
Simply, you cry because that is the only way you can cope with the pain that is inside.
But you should know that doing that every day won’t change anything if you don’t change your life perspective.
You start fights without any reason
Do you sometimes catch yourself picking a fight for no reason? You feel like others hate you and if they say something you don’t like, you start fighting with them?
You simply can’t control it because you want to stand up for yourself so badly but you don’t know how.
So you think that the best way would be to fight verbally and to tell your opponent what is on your heart.
You want to appear as a strong and independent person, while deep down you are shaking because you are afraid of how people will react to your words.
You do that because you want to protect yourself but people might see you as a bad person just because you are fighting over some trivial things.
If this sounds familiar to you, then you are an emotional masochist. But also, you should know that you can change if you really, really want to.
You hold on to all the bad things from the past
If you can’t move forward and you feel like you are stuck in the past, chances are you are an emotional masochist.
You can’t move on from all those bad things that happened to you and you keep repeating them in your head every single day.
You don’t feel good when you think of them but at the same time, you can’t control your thoughts that keep rushing through your head.
And you live like that day to day, which totally drains you. At the end of the day, you feel emotionally drained and without any positive energy but you don’t do anything that would change that.