You would never describe your significant other as being hard to love, would you?
Still, that’s what you believe to be true about yourself and what you think others think of you.
Every time something bad happens, the first thing you do is blame yourself.
Your mind goes into a negative place and you feel like a failure.
Believing in such things is a big part of the problem.
Having low self-esteem is a sign of distrusting your worth. It means you don’t see anything valuable in you and that just isn’t true.
But first, let’s see what led you to believe in that lie in the first place and how can we change that.
You’re a sensitive person. Being a sensitive person makes you super aware of things other people don’t even notice.
It also means you can get overwhelmed more easily and have a hard time setting boundaries and saying no.
You understand everything deeply and sometimes you feel like you’re not doing everything you can.
You can be harsh on yourself over things you can’t control. You’re an overthinker.
Overthinkers live in their mind and spend an unhealthy amount of time reliving their supposed mistakes and wishing they could change something that already happened.
And that’s exactly what’s stopping them from giving self-love a chance.
You find it hard to accept imperfections.
Striving for perfection means constantly having to prove your self-worth. And that’s exhausting.
It’s often mixed up with the fear of disapproval.
You don’t need approval to be who you are. You should be loved as you are.
In order to stop bringing yourself down, you need to change your damaging beliefs about yourself.
To change this distorted self-image, you need to know what a healthy relationship looks like.
To gain back your self-confidence with the help of your future partner, this is what you need to pay attention to and how a relationship should feel like:
The right person will handle conflict maturely.
There will be no petty comments and awkward silences, missed calls or aggressiveness.
There will be a lot of tell me how you feel and why and I will tell you the same.
There will be no guilt tripping.
There’s nothing worse than manipulating a person who has been hurt before, especially if you use guilt to control them. Happy relationships are based on trust and honesty.
You will feel everything is solvable.
With the right person who understands your needs, you will always feel at ease.
With the right person, you will feel like you belong.
Like you can finally let your guard down and relax in peace knowing someone has your best interests at heart despite your flaws.
They won’t see your flaws as a reason to doubt you, but opportunity to understand you better.
Flaws are only reminders to where we need love the most.
They won’t use your flaws against you.
You’ll learn that real love can’t be hard. There’s no such thing as being hard to love.
Love is supposed to be light. Filled with joy, understanding, and nurturing.
It should uplift you, not bring you down and make you question everything you do.
You shouldn’t see your partner as someone to obey, someone you’re not worthy of, or someone who makes you compare yourself with others to measure your worth.
They should be someone who will walk beside you while holding your hand and make sure to show you their love in every way they can.
When you stop believing you’re hard to love, you will suddenly start noticing love that has been shown to you, not only by your partner but your loved ones.
We should never take love for granted. On bad days, when you feel unlovable, remember that.
Remember all the people who’ve loved you your whole life and all the things they’ve done for you.
Remember that regardless of your past, your courage, your fears, your confidence, your age, looks, or accomplishments – you are always worthy of love.