Looking back at it now I cannot help but ask myself the question—was any of it real?
Life went on as if nothing had happened and maybe it didn’t. How else could I explain the fact that you became a stranger so easily?
I don’t believe what they say about staying friends with your past lovers. Who on earth would be happy to see someone they once called theirs be with someone else?
Not many people, don’t you agree? I’d rather call you what you are, a stranger, no matter how it hurts.
What I do believe is when they say that love is strange. Because it is. You never know when it’s coming and worst of all, you never know how long it stays.
There’s a certain mystery when it comes to love and now, I realize we don’t choose who we love and some relationships are not destined to be.
I wish to believe in happily ever afters but I’m not a little girl anymore.
I wish this life hadn’t made me forget about a love that lasts forever but it did. It’s just a happy thought in the back of my mind, carefully put away with the rest of my daydreams.
The problem is when one person turns everything you knew upside down, like a tornado, and in the end, leaves you with nothing, confused, hurt and alone.
They make you believe they’re the one and that a fairy tale love is possible. What a cruel joke.
I know for a fact that for something to work out, you need to put effort in and effort is a reflection of someone’s love for you. If there’s no effort, there’s no love.
It’s a simple truth with the most complicated feelings.
When you love someone, you don’t just give up. When you love someone, you care to understand them.
When you love someone, you try to get closer.
That’s how I knew you had stopped loving me.
You kept getting further and further away. No matter how hard I tried to keep us close, you would always find a way to distance us.
My world crashed in a moment. The man I once knew was gone. I had to let go of you.
And I did. I let go of the man I thought I knew. The man I thought was the one for me.
We were nothing more than strangers with some memories.
The thought of it terrifies me even today.
I remember the time when I was everything you thought about, when you wrote me endless love messages and now, I’m scared to catch your eye if we ever run into each other.
It almost seems bizarre when I look at the things you gave me sitting on the shelf and start remembering those little moments we shared. Moments when you knew me.
I remember it all too well. How you used to tell me I was your person. How you cooked godawful dinners that we laughed about.
How we talked all night about our deepest fears, watched our favorite movies.
Your gentle hugs in the perfect moments and forehead kisses, all the I love you goodnight and good morning love. All gone now.
Sometimes I wish I hadn’t met you at all. You would be a stranger like you are now but I wouldn’t be haunted with memories of love that had died.
I’m not mad at you anymore. There’s a part of me that believes one day I will be able to make sense of this. I hope that one day I will feel thankful for the fact that you happened to me.
Until then, I wish you one last goodbye and pray that when we meet, you won’t look away.
