There are things that are very important to go over about your past relationships because there are things that can help your partner and you to have the best relationship ever.
Knowing why your partner broke up with his ex and what made him wish he never dated her are two very important things because in this way you won’t be making those mistakes.
But, to be honest, there are so many things that you shouldn’t be asking because they can only be destructive for the both of you.
If you ask any of these questions knowing that you should not know the answer then you might end up destroying your self-esteem and making your partner feel bad about themselves.
Just know that he is now with you and that everything that happened in the past should stay right there, where it belongs.
So, in order for you to never make the same mistakes I did, here are the questions you should never ask your partner about their ex and all the reasons why.
How often did you have sex?
Why would you even want to know that? It’s something very personal and very intimate that you shouldn’t know.
If his ex had a higher or lower sex drive than you, it can make you get out of your comfort zone and make you want to have as much sex as they had.
What if they didn’t have sex at all? It’s just not something you would want to know because it influences your own perceptions and your own needs.
Are her boobs bigger than mine?
This can also be used for all other body parts. Knowing if her boobs were bigger (or her butt) only makes you compare yourself to her and that is not healthy.
We must be aware of the fact that there are so many different body shapes out there that there is no way we can all be the same.
Also, so what if her butt was bigger? What can you do about it?
Just don’t ask this question.
Did you tell her that?
When he is telling you an important story about his life, you should be listening instead of thinking about if he told it to her as well.
If it is something very important to him then there is a good chance that he did tell her that. So why would you want to hear him say so?
You know that it will hurt you if you are not the first one he told but there is a good chance that she was not the first one either.
So don’t stress about that. It’s not worth it.
Did you tell her, “I love you”?
I have made this mistake too many times. I always asked if they loved each other and if at one point in the relationship they said it to one another.
But to be real with you, there is no need for us to know that.
Even if he did love her, he is now with you, so focus on that!
Do you compare me to her?
Chances are that you are the only one in the relationship comparing yourself to her. Sometimes, she might pop up in his mind but it’s only there to remind him of how special you are.
But if you start thinking about that while he is kissing you then things can get painful in a minute.
Don’t stop yourself from enjoying wonderful moments with him simply because you are obsessed with how he might be thinking of her today.
Did she make you cry?
It’s really hard for a man to admit that he got emotional to the point of crying so if he did, it would be a very vulnerable topic to talk about.
They probably split up in a very dramatic manner, so don’t make it worse for him by reminding him of that.
Did she turn your fantasies into reality?
We are all very aware of the fact that men have their twisted minds, so it might come to your mind to ask if she made those fantasies come true.
I advise you not to ask.
What if he says yes? Will you ever again be able to look him in the eye if you knew what they did?
You should be turning your relationship into something unique and authentic. But that can’t happen if you’re trying to do the same things she did.
Did your friends like her more?
No matter whether his friends do or don’t like you that much, you shouldn’t ask how it was with her.
Maybe she was a tomboy who they connected with really well over hockey? It’s a random thought but it could be true.
If his friends liked her more, it doesn’t mean that he does. So, don’t worry about it.
Did you think about marrying her?
If it was a serious relationship, he probably did. They may have even planned out their wedding.
But it’s all over now, so why does that mean anything to you?
Have you taken me to places where you went with her?
Restaurants, cafes and so on shouldn’t be a problem. He might just like the food or coffee there so don’t stress out about it.
The world is a huge place to explore and that’s why you will have a much greater chance of experiencing the world with him than she ever did.