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10 Surefire Ways To Recognize Real Love After Being Hurt

10 Surefire Ways To Recognize Real Love After Being Hurt

After numerous disappointments, you lose your judgment-making skills.

You become paranoid that all guys just want to break your heart and you’re convinced that every relationship you get yourself into will leave you devastated and even more damaged.

After everything you’ve been through, you lose the ability to differentiate between right and wrong.

Despite all of your attempts, after being hurt more than once, you don’t know how to recognize real love even if it’s standing right in front of your face.

And that is why we’re here—to give you the bulletproof signs that this is the real deal and that it is safe to put your guard down.

1. You think it’s too good to be true

couple coffee time in bar

At first, after numerous douchebags, when you finally meet a man who truly loves you, you can’t believe what is happening.

You assume that this is all a part of his deception and false pretenses.

He is obviously just lying to get in your pants and under your skin and he’ll end up hurting you the way everyone else before him did.

After all, every man is the same so why would this one be different?

You think this guy is too good to be true, that it is literally impossible for a guy to be honest with you from day one and to show you this much love without any hidden intentions.

So, you keep on searching for clues.

You focus on his imperfections and you look for validation that you were right all along and you’re trying to prepare yourself for what must come next.

However, the disappointment you expect is not in sight.

No matter how deep you dig, you can’t find anything that proves this guy is a douchebag and just like one of your exes.

2. It doesn’t bring drama

couple sitting on rope beach sun

In all of your previous relationships, everything was a roller coaster of emotions.

There was constant drama and you never knew what might happen the next day.

The worst part is that after some time, you started believing that this is how things should be.

You saw it in romantic movies and you read about it—the protagonists who actually love each other deeply keep stumbling on different problems, there is always some action going on and everything around them is wild and crazy.

I’m not saying that you won’t fight in this relationship.

However, even your arguments will be more peaceful and neither of you will make a fuss about little, irrelevant things.

Not every disagreement will feel like the end of the world and not every fight will lead to a break-up.

There is no unnecessary tension that always followed you around in your past relationships.

This time, everything seems resolvable.

You know that even in the worst scenarios, things will work out for the best.

3. It feels like home

young couple in bed hugging

When you were younger, you associated true love with butterflies in your stomach.

You thought that being nervous around someone and having your heart insanely beat every time you saw them or heard their voice was a sign enough that it was the real deal.

However, the truth is that there is a huge difference between being in love and loving someone.

And this is the difference you only manage to see when you meet real love after being hurt.

This love is peaceful and it feels like home.

It doesn’t make you hysterical, it doesn’t give you sleepless nights, anxiety or endless worries and instead, it makes you calm.

You don’t live in constant fear that you’ll lose this person and you don’t think you couldn’t make it without them.

In fact, you know very well you would survive their absence but you consciously choose to have them in your life.

4. Commitment isn’t an issue

woman with hand up strong

Another sure-fire sign that you’ve met your forever person after all those failures you had to go through is the fact that things like commitment, loyalty and faithfulness are never in question.

Yes, these things should be normal in a relationship but sadly, in today’s world, they have become things you need to fight for and things you should consider yourself lucky to get.

The difference between this man and everyone else is that you don’t have to wait for him to make up his mind about you, to choose you from all the other girls in his life or to realize you’re the one for him.

Once you find this man, he won’t have trouble labeling your relationship and he’ll immediately give you the title of his girlfriend.

He won’t waste your time and lead you on for years, without ever telling you honestly where you two stand or without ever talking about your future together.

With this guy, things will be crystal clear from day one.

He will be completely devoted to your relationship and he’ll put as much effort in to make it work as you do.

5. It won’t change you

happy couple hugging outside

In all of your previous relationships, you were expected to meet someone else’s needs.

You were either not enough or too much for the man next to you.

So, you did everything in your power to become the woman these guys wanted you to be.

You changed your hair color, you gained or lost weight, you started dressing differently and most importantly, you modified your personality.

At the end of the day, you lost yourself.

In attempts to please them and to be better for them, you forgot who you were before all these guys marched through your life.

Well, when you finally meet a man who accepts you for who you really are, you’ll know he is your match made in heaven.

I won’t lie to you—there will probably be some parts of your character this guy won’t be crazy about but even in that case, he won’t make you change your ways and become someone you’re not.

6. It will heal you

carefree woman outside in field

Let’s be honest—no man deserves to have a girlfriend who carries loads of emotional baggage into their relationship.

However, your new boyfriend will sadly have to deal with your past traumas.

Nevertheless, he won’t run away when he sees that you’re damaged.

Instead, this guy will make it his priority to help you repair your shattered heart and to restore your lost faith in love.

Because that is what true love does—it heals you, while all others break you.

It makes all of your sadness go away, it cures your insecurities, it wipes away your tears, it puts a smile back on your face and it makes you the happiest person in the world.

7. There won’t be excuses

happy couple man hugging girlfriend

How many times have you been involved with a guy whose actions didn’t match his words?

With a man who promised you the world but ended up giving you nothing and who convinced you that you would live a real-life fairy tale next to him but turned your every day into hell?

Well, now, all of this is a part of the past.

There are no more false promises and, most importantly, no excuses.

When a man loves you for real, he is always there for you, no matter what.

He is not too busy to help you out and nobody is more important than you.

Instead of wasting all of his energy on looking for excuses, he focuses on finding solutions.

8. … or blame games

couple in thinking mood in front of lake

Remember how you were always guilty for everything wrong in your relationships? How your exes kept blaming you, even for their toxic behavior?

This is another thing that stops happening once you find true love after many disappointments.

All of a sudden, it doesn’t matter who is guilty or who is right or wrong; the only important thing is to come up with a solution.

There are no more blame games because you’re both mature adults who know when to take responsibility for their actions.

Neither of you plays mind games and nor does gaslighting the other person boost your ego.

9. It will inspire you to grow as a person

 While you were involved with all those wrong guys, you were constantly insecure and you couldn’t help but wonder whether you were enough.

You didn’t see your true value as a person and you thought you had self-confidence issues.

Even though the last part was true, the fact is that you felt this way because you were constantly diminished by your partners.

They had the need to put you down because it was the only way to feel better about themselves.

However, once true love enters your life, it will help you with your relationship with yourself.

When the right man grows to love you, he will teach you to love yourself more and that is the best thing he can do for you.

This guy will help you grow as a person and he will inspire you to reach all of your potential.

He will push you forward and believe in you, even when you lose faith.

Trust me—a real man will never be intimidated by your achievements.

Instead, he will be proud of them and he will always be there to have your back while you climb the ladder of success.

10. You will feel like part of a couple

happy couple running on beach

One of the best things true love and a healthy relationship brings along is the feeling of belonging.

From the moment it enters your life, you stop feeling like you’re alone in this world.

Don’t get me wrong—this doesn’t mean that you’ll lose your individuality in this relationship.

However, you’ll just feel much stronger because you know there exist hands which will catch you if you fall; you’ll feel like you’re part of a team that can’t lose!

10 Sure-fire Ways To Recognize Real Love After Being Hurt