There is a time in everybody’s life when it seems that nothing we do is appreciated. I’m sure you feel that way sometimes as well. Your kind gestures are gladly accepted but not valued and the nice things you do for others are taken for granted. You can’t remember the last time somebody said thank you or please and you are starting to feel a bit meaningless and without any real value.
You always carry a smile on your face but inside you feel like screaming and crying. If you’re feeling this way right now, hopefully this piece can help you cope with it. Feeling unappreciated can be painful, so here are some easy steps to help you deal with it and start feeling better about yourself!
1. Openly communicate your feelings
Keeping your feelings bottled up inside will only make you feel worse about yourself. Take a brave step and communicate your feelings to those you feel are not appreciating you enough. Perhaps they are simply not aware of how you’re feeling, since you have become so good at hiding it.
Give them an opportunity to say their side of the story and don’t snap at them. Be kind and gentle with your approach. Demanding thanks will hardly make it happen and it won’t feel genuine. Allow them to explain that they do in fact appreciate you but maybe they were careless about showing it. You will probably come to realize that they never meant for you to feel otherwise.
2. Don’t put your sense of self-worth in someone else’s hands
If you allow others to affect your own sense of self-worth, you’re on the fast track to dangerous territory where you will never feel fully okay with yourself. You have to realize that the way others see you is not how you should see yourself. It is not the measure of your value.
Don’t let how other people feel toward you determine how you value yourself. Especially since you don’t see everyone in your life in the same way.
When you are secure with the kind of person you are, others will see it too and any thanks you get will be genuine. Anything else, you don’t need.
3. Seek help if you don’t feel you can handle this on your own
Don’t ever feel ashamed of how you’re feeling. Everybody goes through dark periods sometimes, it’s all a part of life. If what you’re feeling seems too much and it’s bothering you on a deeper level, ask for help. Find a professional who can help you determine the best way to go forward in the healthiest manner for you.
Somebody who is unbiased and has no knowledge about you or anyone close to you can offer a fresh perspective on your situation and it might be just the thing you need. You have no reason to think that they have any intention other than to help you regain your self-worth again.
4. Assess if the environment you’re in is a healthy one
Perhaps the reason you’re feeling so unappreciated and lost is due to the fact you’re surrounded by the wrong people. Try to take a step back and determine the nature of your relationship with whoever is making you feel this way.
Know that you are not required to be around anyone permanently and if you feel like a certain person has become like poison in your life, you have every right to remove yourself from that situation. This will likely result in getting your sense of self-worth back, because there is no one left to poison your life.
Sometimes, it’s as simple as that. You don’t need anyone who brings you down in your life, especially if they are decreasing your own view and value of yourself.
5. Appreciate others
Your sense of decreased value comes from an inner feeling of not appreciating yourself enough. Start seeing all the good things in other people and openly appreciate what they do for you. But don’t do it in order for them to reciprocate the notion. Do it because you are genuinely appreciative.
When you show appreciation, it is likely to be given back. It will also help you resist the temptation of feeling undervalued by others and boost your sense of self-value.
I am in no way trying to insinuate that feeling unappreciated is in any way your own fault. My point is that you may be giving too much importance to this. You may be reading too much into someone’s apparent lack of appreciation. But you get to control what bothers you and what doesn’t. So, try to evaluate what is worthy of making you feel this way and what is maybe not as important as you initially thought.