How many times have you heard that the best and the easiest way to get over a failed relationship is to go back into the dating pool as soon as possible?
That finding someone new to occupy your mind and heart is the quickest way to move on from an ex?
However, despite this popular opinion, in most cases, jumping from an ex to a next has actually turned out to be counterproductive, and here are 5 reasons why.
1. Healing is a process
First and foremost, you need to understand that it takes time for you to truly get over someone.
It doesn’t matter if you stopped loving your ex—he is still the guy who’s been a part of your life for a while, and if nothing more, you got used to him, so you need time to accept his absence.
Of course, there is a possibility that you are convinced this man is completely gone from your heart.
Nevertheless, just because you are convinced you are over him, doesn’t make it true.
In fact, your feeling this way is probably nothing more than a sign that you are lying to yourself, pretending that you are OK.
In this case scenario, all the negative emotions you keep pushing down will catch up with you sooner or later when you think you’ve forgotten about them completely.
So instead of repressing your emotions and expecting them to magically go away, allow yourself to heal healthily.
Instead of pushing yourself too hard, accept that moving on doesn’t happen overnight, and that this is a process which takes time and patience.
2. Your pain won’t go away
If you think that all the bruises on your scared heart will disappear as soon as you meet a new guy, think again.
If you expect your next boyfriend to appear in your life with a magic wand which will resolve all of your problems and make all of your worries go away, one thing is clear—you are definitely not ready for a new relationship.
When you are in pain and when you miss your ex, hoping that some other guy will help you get over him and fill the emptiness your ex left behind is one of the most toxic things you might do to yourself.
I hate to break your bubble but this new man won’t ease your pain. Instead, he will only intensify it.
3. Your emotional baggage will impact your new relationship
You can never expect to have a healthy relationship while you still carry some heavy weight from your past.
You can never show someone new your true potential while there is emotional baggage burdening you down.
I know you think that you are ready for a new relationship as soon as you stop loving your ex, but trust me that it takes a lot more to really let go.
You are not ready to commit to someone new until you become certain that you’ve gotten rid of all the fears, trust, and abandonment issues from your past relationship because these are all the things that have a huge impact on your future, even when you are not aware of it.
4. You will hurt your new boyfriend
Let’s face it—nobody enjoys being a rebound, and your new boyfriend is no exception.
It would be utterly unfair to take advantage of someone just to help you get over your ex, and this is a crime you should never even think of committing.
If you think that this new guy won’t sense that you are still holding on to the past, you can’t be more wrong.
Trust me—men also have intuition, and he will definitely realize that you are not completely dedicated to this relationship.
Besides, the last thing you want to do is to hurt some nice guy just because your ex hurt you.
You’ve been through a brutal breakup, and you don’t want to be the same as the guy who broke your heart, do you?
5. Being single rocks
Another reason why jumping from one relationship to another is never a good idea is the fact that this way, you don’t get chance to enjoy your single life, which can be amazing if you play it right.
You see, when you end a relationship, you need some alone time, especially if it was a long-term one.
You need some time to get your act together, to figure out what is it that you want and don’t want from life.
You need (and deserve) some time to focus all your energy on yourself, and that is only possible when you are single.