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6 Lessons My Parents’ Divorce Taught Me About Relationships

6 Lessons My Parents’ Divorce Taught Me About Relationships

Having your family break apart right in front of you is one of the most traumatic experiences for every child.

I should know because that is something I went through after my parents split.

However, what I didn’t know at the time was that their divorce would help me a lot through life.

What I didn’t know was that it would teach me some crucial things about relationships which I wouldn’t have had the chance to learn otherwise and here are 6 of them.

1. Not all relationships are meant to last a lifetime

Let’s face it—none of us gets married with an already planned exit strategy.

We don’t promise to love each other until death do us part unless we really believe in the vows we are saying or if we feel like our marriage has no expiration date.

Nevertheless, things don’t always end up the way we planned them to.

You can be convinced that someone is the person you’ll grow old next to but eventually, it turns out that they are not meant to be yours.

The point is that not all relationships are meant to last a lifetime, as much as we want them to.

Some people are there to help us go through a certain stage in life or to teach us a lesson.

Once their job is done and once they’ve accomplished their mission, we lose them, even though that was something we could never imagine happening.

2. And that is OK

And that is all a part of life. No, having your relationship end or having you marriage collapse is not the end of the world.

Yes, it is painful and devastating.

Yes, at times you feel like all of your worst nightmares have come true but these things simply happen.

And there is simply nothing you can do about it instead of embracing it and getting the best out of it.  

3. It’s always better to walk away than to stay in a toxic relationship

Another thing my parents’ divorce taught me is to never stay in a bad relationship or next to a man who can’t give me what I need.

Don’t get me wrong—I am not saying that you should run for the hills at the first sign of inconvenience or that you shouldn’t fight for your relationship but it doesn’t mean that you should ever stay in an unhealthy relationship which is making your life hell.

I’ve learned that walking away from someone who isn’t making me happy anymore is always a good idea, no matter what someone might tell you about it.

Being alone always beats being in a relationship in which you settle for less.

Starting over and being single is always better than remaining next to someone who is making you miserable.

4. Your history with someone shouldn’t be a reason to stay next to them

When you are ending a romantic relationship and especially a marriage, obviously, you have a lot of history with the person you are leaving behind.

This is someone you went through a lot with and the person you were building a life together with.

Nevertheless, this shouldn’t be the only reason you decide to stay by their side.

Yes, a lot may connect the two of you—children, a mortgage, a house, a business together… Yes, this person has become your comfort zone.

However, you can’t spend an eternity dwelling on the happy memories, if the present is far from pretty.

You can’t stay next to someone just because of your past if you don’t see your future next to them.

5. Sadly, love isn’t always enough

When I was a younger girl, I believed in fairy tales.

I believed that all it takes for a happy ending is to have the guy you love love you back.

Well, my parents’ divorce showed me otherwise.

It showed me that there are some other more important things besides mutual affection, such as effort, compromise, respect, appreciation and, most importantly, compatibility.

It helped me see that your love can’t change someone unless they decide to do it themselves.

That love can’t make up for some crucial differences between people.

It made me realize that sometimes, love isn’t enough and that it alone can’t make a relationship work.

6. You will survive

When you’re going through a brutal break-up, you think of it as the end of the world.

You are convinced that this is a pain you can’t survive and you see no hope of ever putting yourself back together.

Well, guess what? My mother and father survived their divorce.

Yes, at first, they were both a wreck but eventually, they healed. And now they are happier than ever.

So, if they could heal from losing the person they once wanted to spend their entire life with, who I am to think that I won’t be able to get over some random boy who tried to break my heart?

Who am I not to have faith that I will survive every emotional pain life throws at me?

6 Lessons My Parents' Divorce Taught Me About Relationships