Where is he? What’s taking him so long? Will I grow gray and old before my soulmate appears? These are just some of the questions that are going through your mind if you are single.
That’s perfectly normal. We are all made from flesh, blood and feelings and we naturally crave the warmth of another person.
Deep down, we all know that our soulmate is somewhere out there waiting for us. We know that someone is made just for us and that he will fit perfectly into our life.
But there are times when we are just tired of waiting for him to find us. There are times when loneliness gets the best of us so we settle for second best, we settle for anything just to realize in the end that those people are just passing chapters, never the ones who are meant to stay.
There are a few good reasons why it all plays out like that:
1. You’re unconsciously attracting the wrong people
You might be totally clueless of this fact and it actually isn’t your fault. Your love life so far has been one big mess and you’ve been hurt by someone you loved deeply.
It’s no wonder that you are scared to fall in love again and your defense mechanism keeps you guarded and makes you wonder why it would be any different this time, as the same scenario will just happen again. And it does and in one way, it has a lot to do with the way you think.
You see, there is this force within us that is called the law of attraction. So, if you’re focused on negativity, you will invite it into your life. But when you are filled with positive thoughts, when you open your heart so that good things can happen, you will be on the right track.
2. You haven’t learned all your lessons yet
It’s not just about the way you think that’s sabotaging your soul’s journey, it’s also the way you act.
If you keep repeating the same scenarios, ignore the red flags and stay with someone who is wrong for you, you still haven’t started working on your self-love or decided to put yourself first for a change; you are blocking the path for the right person to find you.
Don’t repeat the same mistakes, don’t stay with someone who doesn’t respect you and doesn’t think the world of you; he is not your soulmate, he is just one more lesson.
3. You want too much too soon
Even though you wouldn’t say it aloud to anyone or even admit it to yourself, you want to skip the steps from the day you meet someone till the day you are in a committed relationship or married with kids.
Go easy, don’t mention words like commitment, marriage, kids or any long-term plans too soon. Take things slow. Nothing worth having comes to you overnight. Get to know a person bit by bit and build a relationship that lasts.
4. You are not in the right place emotionally
This can mean two things. For starters, you might still be hooked on your ex and you are hoping that you might get back together or he has hurt you so much that the memories of him are haunting you.
Your past is something you have to deal with so you can get on with your present. Your ex is part of that past for a good reason, just remember that.
Secondly. you may have insecurities, trust issues or anything along those lines that you haven’t managed to solve yet. It doesn’t mean you won’t find love before that happens but if you are not even trying to get there, it’s highly unlikely.
5. You are literally not in the right place
‘Love will come knocking on your door when you least expect it’ isn’t something you should take literally. It won’t find you when you are spending your weekends in your PJ’s, eating chips and watching movies.
You have to go out into the world. Find things that interest you, find fun things to do on the weekend or a way to give back to your community. Surround yourself with good people and give yourself the opportunity to meet new ones.
Work on making your life more fulfilling and interesting, make yourself happy and proud and your soulmate will find you when you are on your way there.