A father figure is extremely important for every child.
But in some cases, instead of a loving and caring father, some kids get a narcissist who destroys their lives.
Kids who were raised by a father with this personality disorder know very well what it means to be sad, to think you are worthless, and to always walk on the rainy side of life.
In most cases, when those kids grow up, they move away from that kind of parent.
They just want to heal and to start a new chapter of their life without the man who ruined all that was good in their lives.
Without the man who beat them to an emotional death and who made them lose any hope they would ever be happy.
When you are raised by a narcissistic father, all you want is to stay away from him.
And even though it is hard to have no contact with your family member, here are a couple of useful tips that can help anyone struggling to get away from their nightmare.
1. Make sure your decision is firm
A narcissist is not someone you can easily fool around with. Those people are tricky, and they know how to read people well.
But their biggest asset is that they know how to make you feel bad.
So, if you want to go no contact with a narcissistic father, you need to be mentally strong for all his mind games.
He will use all means necessary to bring you back so he can have someone to molest and to suck the energy out from.
Once you decide you will go away from him, your decision has to be firm. It means that nothing he says or does can ever bring you back.
Whatever he tries to do, don’t buy it because he is just playing with you. Stand up for yourself, and let him know you have no wish to see him ever again.
Show him that you have options and that you are not planning to put up with him your whole life.
2. Be ready for tons of calls and texts
When you let your father know that you are moving away and that you no longer want him to be a part of your life, be ready for literally anything.
He will try to convince you that it is all in your head and that he isn’t guilty of anything.
He will bombard you with texts and calls, and when he sees that you are stubborn, he will start blaming you.
He will make a scenario so good that he will be the victim in the end. But please don’t buy it.
Even if he says he will change, it will never happen. He will always be the same piece of shit who destroyed your life.
He won’t let you alone, and he will ruin every moment in which you will feel happy. He can’t act differently because he doesn’t know how to do it.
Make sure to block him on social media sites and to block his texts and calls.
Avoid going to places where he goes, and if he molests you and stalks you, feel free to contact the police. That is the only way to protect yourself.
3. Be surrounded by people who support you
When you go no contact with a narcissistic father, you will need a lot of support from people who love you.
That’s why you need to be in their company as much as you can to avoid getting into depression. While they are there, you won’t doubt your decision.
You will just be more sure that you did the right thing. Also, when they are around you, your father won’t come near.
He will be terrified of all those people comforting you and being there for you. Remember: a narcissist attacks only when you are alone.
He does it so he could brainwash you more easily and gaslight you. But when you are with people who love you, they won’t let that happen.
You need someone who understands all that you have been through and who is with you 100%.
People who stay with you during the storm are the ones you need to cherish the most.
4. Distract yourself
The time you spend during ‘no contact’ with a narcissistic father will be hard to endure. You will have to learn how to live alone or with your roommate.
You will get a lot of calls and messages from your father, and all those things will be a lot of pressure.
That’s why you need to distract yourself with something. You can’t just sit in the house and think that all will pass because it won’t.
If you are left alone with your thoughts, you might start doubting your decision.
Also, when he starts bombarding you with messages and calls acting like he is not well and telling you he will kill himself, you might fall for his lies.
But if you have friends who will tell you that it is all a scenario he came up with to make you bond, you won’t react that badly.
You will stick to your decision, and you won’t let him come and ruin your life again. With the right people next to you, you will be just fine.
5. Take care of your mental wellbeing
The phase you are going through is stressful. That’s why you need to take care of your mental health.
The best way to do it is to do things that you like to do. Spend more time with your friends, exercise, enroll in a new class, start a new hobby.
Use your time the best you can because that is the only way to keep your mind sane. Learn to put yourself first because you haven’t done that your whole life.
And one more thing – while you are doing it, don’t think it is selfish. It is just necessary.
It was about time to start living a life you will be proud of.
It is time to show your teeth to anyone who disrespects you, especially your toxic father.
Do things that make you feel calm, and don’t waste your time on people who don’t deserve you.
That is the only way you will get the peace you crave so much.
6. Accept the new life that is in front of you
It will be hard at first, that is for sure. You will think that going no contact with your father is an awful thing to do.
But that is just temporary. After some time spent without him, you will realize that you are actually alive.
You will feel happiness in your heart. Your voice will be heard. You will finally get all those things that you craved all your childhood but you couldn’t get them.
You will live your life to the fullest. You will breathe with the full capacity of your lungs.
Nothing will ever be the same, and for you, that will be the best thing that has ever happened to you.
So, don’t think that you made a mistake. Don’t think about it because it was about time to save yourself.
Now, you have the chance to finally live the life you deserve, and please don’t let anyone steal your perfect life from you.
Nobody is worthy of that and the one who is worthy will never do that to you.