Healing and successfully moving on after a dysfunctional relationship is the dream! But in reality, it’s a mighty task.
Everybody has their own coping mechanisms and dealing with the burden of a breakup can be done in a multitude of ways.
But one thing that is definitely not encouraged after just having ended a long-term relationship is moving on too quickly from it!
You may think you’re doing yourself a favor by doing everything you can to do forget about him and completely preoccupying yourself with different things, but you’re really not.
You can’t just erase a huge part of your life. You can’t just pretend that all never happened.
You CAN decide to ignore how you’re feeling and deny that you’re shattered and heartbroken, but eventually it’ll catch up with you.
And it will catch you by storm. And then, it will be that much more challenging to recuperate and move forward.
If you don’t believe me, here is exactly how moving on too quickly can and will negatively affect you:
1. By not going through the motions, you end up suppressing emotions that eventually catch up with you
If you don’t let yourself process what happened and feel your feelings, it might happen on the worst day imaginable.
You’ll be drinking alone in your kitchen, listening to his favourite song, and it will just overcome you.
Everything you were trying so hard to bury deep and move away from will suddenly burst to the surface and catch you off guard.
You won’t know how to deal with all of the emotions, and the fact that you’re drinking will only worsen and heighten the despair you’re feeling.
And that is why you need to deal with your emotions in time, until one day, it just starts getting better.
2. Having a rebound guy only postpones your suffering
When you decide to jump into bed with somebody too soon after breaking up with your man, you don’t get to heal.
You don’t get to deal with your issues. What you DO get is a postponed heartbreak that hits you twice as hard.
You’ll think you’re doing okay and that you’re forgetting all about him.
But what you’re actually doing is sleeping with a random stranger who is going to walk out in the morning and leave you to your own devices. And what then?
What happens when you’re alone with your feelings? You break down in tears and suffer in silence. Don’t do this to yourself. You know better.
3. Moving on too soon makes you lower your standards (and miss out on amazing things)
By the end of it, you’ll just want somebody there. Somebody to comfort you and tell you it’s going to be okay.
A body to warm yours at night, and just somebody to listen to you. And it won’t really matter if this guy is actually a good guy or somebody with impure intentions.
You’ll just care to not be alone. And that is how you end up in a toxic relationship. You lower your standards for all the wrong reasons and end up in the arms of the wrong man.
It doesn’t mean it will definitely happen, but it can for sure. And is it really worth it? You might miss out on amazing things and a great man due to your impatience.
4. You can’t get your ex out of your head, no matter how hard you try
If you don’t heal properly, you’ll never be able to get your ex out of your head.
You will see him in every guy you sleep with and in every corner on the street. He’ll be a constant presence in your mind and it’ll drive you nuts.
By not healing slowly and patiently, you give yourself no opportunity to move on.
How can you forget about someone if you don’t give yourself the chance to admit how broken you really are? You need to do what it takes to get over it in a way that helps you grow.
5. You’ll compare every guy you date to your ex-boyfriend
Whoever you end up with, they just won’t be able to compare to your ex.
They won’t be able to fill in your ex’s shoes and it will leave you devastated. You won’t want to compare, but you won’t be able to help yourself.
He was all you knew for so long and he just became a measure for what you need. And now, with every new guy, nobody seems to know how to handle you.
And that will make you miss him like crazy. You will want him again, but you’ll know he’s no good for you, and that will make you suffer more than you actually need to.
6. You’ll give false hope to the next guy and it won’t be fair to him
You don’t want to hurt anybody, I know that, but that is exactly what you will end up doing.
By moving on too quickly, you’ll end up leading the next guy on and make him think he has an actual chance.
And we both know you’re in no place to make that kind of a decision so soon.
What you need is some alone time to get yourself together and realize what you need right now. And you know that jumping from one relationship to another too quickly is the exact opposite of that.
7. It will make you want to get back together with your ex
When you move on prematurely, you see what the world has to offer and it’s just not as good as you had it with your man.
Nothing seems worth the trouble and you just can’t bring yourself to really open up that way to anyone.
Your ex is the only one who made it all worth it (until he no longer did). And now, you don’t see yourself with anyone else, which will make you go back to something that is clearly not good for you anymore.
You deny yourself a true chance at happiness by not letting yourself go through the healing process. That’s just not right.
You deserve more, and hopefully, you’ll see it too. Time heals all wounds, but you’ve got to let it do its thing first.