Spotting a narcissist is sometimes really hard, because they are charmers and have excellent social skills. He will seduce you and spin your head, and before you even know it, you’ll be falling for him.
He will make sure you feel like the most amazing woman alive. He will bring you gifts, compliment you all night long and the chemistry you share will literally melt your bones.
He sounds like the perfect man; the man songs and books are written about. But, that’s what makes it even scarier.
So, in order for you to recognize the narcissist right on the first date, we gathered some early narcissistic abuse signs that could tip you off to him.
Conversation is all about him
He finds a way to switch the conversation back to him all the time. You may feel hurt because he’s not curious about you, but he will be so fun and charismatic that you will brush it off.
He will also find a way to humbly brag about himself and his accomplishments. You might think that this is because he wants to present himself like the perfect man, but the truth is, he truly enjoys talking about himself and he truly believes that he IS perfect.
He is impatient and rude to waitstaff
During a date, watch carefully how he behaves if there is a particular delay. Whether it’s about your table not being set up, your food arriving late or waitstaff not being available all the time.
He will easily get annoyed, eventually treat waitstaff rudely and tip them poorly.
He has this need to always be in the center of attention and have everything running smoothly, so if things don’t go his way, he will eventually snap and drown you in complaints.
He shows no interest in you
At the end of the date, is there a single thing he knows about you? You know his favorite movie, his music, his biggest dreams and accomplishments. But what about him knowing anything about you?
You heard stories about his childhood, cars and sports, but was there any story you told about yourself? If you feel neglected right on the first date, chances are that it won’t change for the better.
If he hasn’t shown any interest in you, or he did but he swiftly switched the conversation to him, he’s not really worth it.
He needs to have full control over everything. He picked when will you go on a date, where and what table you are going to take.
It won’t be any near the kitchen or somewhere in the corner—he needs to be in the spotlight and he will choose the predominant spot because he believes that he deserves validation and special treatment.
He will also suggest that you let him plan the entire thing, and he will even try to order the food for you because he thinks that he knows the best.
Demanding your full attention
If he’s not the center of attention, he gets offended. He will either be sarcastic or make jokes about the time you spent talking to someone you ran into or about your day, and soon enough the conversation will shift to him once more.
He needs your full attention and he will make sure he gets it, without you even realizing it in the first place. But if you notice the certain pattern that happens when he’s not in the spotlight, that’s a clear sign that he’s a narc.
Love bombing is overblown demonstration of affection and attention used to win someone over.
You’ll notice this if he keeps on talking about the way you two clicked, the future plans he already has for you two—and all before the appetizers have even arrived to the table.
He uses this so he could hook you, in order for you to give him what he wants, and that would be physical intimacy, you taking care of him, your connections or money.
He will make sure that you feel special and amazing, and keep on talking about how he sees himself with you, how you’re one of a kind and your beauty knocked him off of his feet. Be careful if your inner alarm goes off—you might want to listen to it.
The soup is too hot, the bread is too hard, the wine is not cold enough. Nothing is good for him and everything that happens presents a huge issue for him.
He will complain about his colleagues, about his job and the government in general. He’s never satisfied, and he never will be—which will also apply to you.
He will eventually start mentioning flaws of yours, but never find any of his. Because, you know, he is perfect after all.
Chemistry is through the roof
One of the classic signs of narcissism is sexual tension and chemistry. Bad boys attract good girls, and well, any woman really.
And besides the chemistry itself, he will tease you and touch you in a way you were never touched before, come closer to whisper things in your ear, move your hair gently from your face and say the most beautiful things you’ve ever heard.
The rule here is simple: – the hotter the chemistry, the faster you should run away.
See also: 5 Things Narcissists Say To Win You Back
Flaunts about spending money on you
He has the need to share this information with you, so you know how much he spends on you.
Simply because he hates to be dismissed and he wants you to know how special you are, because he spent so much money on the dinner and went through so much trouble just to get the reservation and the night off.
Narcissists always have the need to be validated and praised for the things they do, so he will take any chance he has to get them.