Why is it that we keep believing in a happily ever after even when everything around us is falling apart?
Why is it that we keep on thinking that people are going to change, things are going to be fixed and that everything is going to work out in the end?
We are holding on tightly to that idea of love even when love is gone. We keep on going for a miracle because there is nothing else left to do. We already tried everything.
We gave our best. We fought with all we had. But it wasn’t enough. It will never be enough because love can’t be forced. There is no need to change ourself to find or keep love.
There is no need to go above and beyond to make two people fit together. There is no need because when love is real, even the most imperfect pieces fit together just perfectly.
Love shouldn’t be so difficult. Sure, it requires work but it also requires two people who would do anything for each other.
Two people who make loving one another easy even when everything else is hard.
Even though we know all of that deep down, we want things to work so badly that we stay even though we should have left a long time ago.
Our emotions and desires cloud our view and we are unable to see clearly.
That’s why it’s time you open your eyes and ask yourself if you are forcing your relationship and you can find the answer in these signs:
1. You are trying to change each other
If you are trying to mold a person to fit your expectations, it’s never going to happen.
Either you accept each other for who you are or you simply face the fact that you are not compatible.
People do change but only when they want to or feel the need to do so.
If you catch yourself thinking if only they did this or that then everything would be perfect, there is a problem you have that is much bigger than you think.
2. Spending time together feels like an obligation
“We haven’t hung out in a long while so we should tonight,” isn’t the kind of love story you wanted to be in.
If you feel that spending time with the person you are with is your duty, not your pleasure, you are headed downhill.
You should be looking forward to some time alone with your partner even if you have been together for ages.
There is a big difference between “we have to” and “we want to” spend time together.
3. The silence is deafening
You forgot how to communicate. You don’t talk to each other anymore, not really.
All you talk about is everyday random stuff. There are no more deep conversations or those that show you still care.
There are no sweet words, only silence. You used to make an effort to show affection in the past and it was ignored. That’s the reason you stopped trying.
To continue with bad communication skills, pushing each other’s buttons is one more major issue.
You can’t tolerate anything anymore and every little thing annoys you. Your talking turned into bickering, arguing and sarcastic remarks.
If you really think long and hard, you won’t be able to recall the last time you had a decent conversation.
5. You are wondering if love should really feel like a sacrifice
Making compromises is an integral part of any relationship. But making them doesn’t mean changing your essence to please somebody else.
It doesn’t mean bending over backward and sacrificing your happiness to make somebody else happy and content.
Making compromises means meeting each other halfway. It means bending a little every now and then to make the person you love happy. It doesn’t involve self-sacrifice.
6. You keep telling everybody how great your partner is
By going on and on about how good, charming, or loving your partner is to everybody around you, including on social media, you are actually trying to convince yourself how all of it is true.
You want to make yourself believe that things couldn’t be better, when deep down you know that’s far from the truth.
You are concentrating on putting on a perfect exterior even though the insides of your relationship are rotten.
7. You find yourself thinking back to your prior relationships
You are thinking about all the things that your ex did right and you miss it.
You are thinking about all the things he had done wrong and you notice the same pattern repeating itself in the form of your new partner.
This is not a sign that you need to get back together with your ex. It’s just a big warning sign that something is not right in your current relationship.
8. You are subconsciously inquiring what else is out there
Cheating is the last thing on your mind and you wouldn’t even dream of doing it.
But every time you hear somebody who is usually your type being on the market again you can’t help but be a tiny bit happy.
Your eye has a habit of wandering every time someone hot crosses your path.
You catch yourself thinking about how your life would look like if you were with somebody else.
9. You think about the good old days
Like in the previous two signs, you are escaping reality and you are not living in the here and now.
Your mind goes to the beginning of your relationship where everything was good, where you couldn’t wait to see your partner and spend time with him.
Having great memories from your past is a valuable thing but relying on them to get you through the day more easily is something to be concerned about.
10. You are putting all the blame on yourself
You are constantly trying to figure out what you have done wrong. You worry that you ask for too much and that you are being hard on your partner.
It’s easier to blame yourself and lower your standards than face that your relationship just isn’t functioning and it really doesn’t matter whose fault it is.
11. You are terrified of being alone
When you think about the potential break-up, all you fear is being alone and not continuing your life without that person in it.
Is it really worth it to stay in a relationship that is not functioning or with a partner you are not happy with solely because you don’t want to be alone? Of course not. You are just making things worse for the both of you.
12. Sex is almost out of the picture
Your sex life is an integral part of the relationship. It’s what sets apart friendship from a relationship.
If something is lacking in that area, that is definitely an indicator that things are not right.
Sex doesn’t have to be as often as when you first started but it has to exist and it has to exist often.
If you lost the chemistry and attraction you once shared with your partner, it will be hard to get it back.