Dating is one of the best parts of a relationship. Spontaneity, anticipation, and curiosity prevail at this time. You are in seventh heaven all the time and don’t really see some red flags, if there are any.
That’s why many girls aren’t able to see the signs when they’re dating a man who is not financially stable. Yeah, you’re probably thinking, “Why does this even matter? Money can’t buy happiness.”
And yes, you’re completely right. However, if you dig a little deeper into the topic, you’ll soon realize that being in a serious relationship with someone who is financially unstable can largely affect your life as well.
How to recognize and protect yourself from a man who isn’t good at making financial decisions will be the topic of this article, so keep scrolling!
8 Signs You’re Dating a Man Who Is Not Financially Stable
Don’t get me wrong, it’s more than normal that you don’t think about your partner’s financial situation. However, if your partner is financially unstable, this might be a problem over the course of a long-term relationship.
That’s why it’s crucial for you to know the signs of a man who’s financially unstable so that you can decide if he’s worth the fight or just a lost cause.
1. They don’t pay their bills on time
One obvious sign that your boyfriend is financially unstable is if he lets bills pile up. If you are now in a more serious relationship, you’re probably going to each other’s places.
If you’ve been dating for a few months and start to notice that his bills are piling up, he probably doesn’t have reasonable spending habits.
If he is constantly being contacted by collectors, or if his services have been suspended, then your partner is clearly in significant financial difficulty.
This can be a huge deal-breaker for some people. It’s not that you are being materialistic – it’s just that your partner is giving the impression that he is irresponsible and that he spends his money on things that aren’t important.
If you love him, though, you should talk to him and try to fix the problem. Start with open communication without judgment, as judging him will only have a counter effect.
You should try to fix the problem as soon as possible because if left unresolved, it can cause an even bigger problem later in the relationship.
2. Addiction problems
Anyone with a substance use disorder knows that addiction results in financial instability. As a girlfriend of such a person, it is inevitable that you, too, will recognize this instability.
Let’s start with the obvious – addiction costs money. We also need to be mindful that long-term drug use may have exponentially higher costs. Financial issues may worsen the longer a dependency is left untreated.
Okay, you’ll start to notice the direct costs of his drug or alcohol use. However, there are many indirect ways that addiction might drain his bank account.
Due to his excessive and prolonged drug use, he might also have decreased work productivity, which can eventually lead to job loss.
So, if he constantly changes jobs and isn’t able to keep a job due to his addiction, it probably means that he has money issues as well.
3. They don’t talk openly about their finances
At the beginning of the relationship, you might avoid talking about his finances as you wouldn’t want him to develop the impression that you’re a gold digger.
However, if you are already in a long-term relationship, you should talk about finances, as they’ll greatly affect your future quality of life once you start living together.
If your boyfriend doesn’t want to open up and talk about his finances and financial goals, it can be a huge sign that you’re dating a man who is not financially stable.
Many people think that talking about money is a social taboo. Still, if you are in a romantic relationship, it is necessary to talk about the other person’s finances and future financial independence.
This, again, doesn’t mean that you’re materialistic. It is a sign that you care about this relationship and that you see a future for it. Whether you admit it or not, money matters.
You’ll start to realize this the moment living expenses, credit card debts, or any other money problems kick in.
4. They have a lot of credit cards
Take note if you happen to glance inside your boyfriend’s wallet during dinner and see a large collection of credit cards in it.
Having many credit cards can be a clue your potential partner has a spending issue, even though some people use them to take advantage of their cash back or travel rewards opportunities.
When credit cards are used improperly, the consequences can be severe and expensive, with interest rates over 20%.
First, discuss it with your boyfriend to determine whether this is a spending issue or merely a desire to receive the finest rewards.
Depending on the specifics of your partner’s circumstance, consider scheduling a consultation with a financial expert or perhaps a therapist if excessive spending is a true problem.
Too many credit cards can be a sign that you won’t have any financial security in this relationship.
5. Things don’t add up
If you got lucky and he told you his job description and where he works, but things still don’t add up – here is another sign that you’re dating a man who is not financially stable.
The problem occurs if his job description and salary don’t add up with his expensive and luxurious lifestyle.
Nowadays, it’s usual for people to work two jobs or have a side business, but a luxurious lifestyle without a clear source of income deserves further investigation.
Especially if you know that he is already in some debt or has student loans, itt doesn’t make sense that he has enough money to maintain such an expensive lifestyle.
6. You catch them lying to you
Honesty and trust are two fundamental things that make for a healthy relationship. Transparency is also a plus.
If you catch them lying to you about their real estate, credit score, or source of income in general, it can be a huge red flag. People who lie about these things are usually full of insecurities or irresponsible spenders.
This will eventually become an even larger problem by the time you uncover more and more of his lies. Constant lying about anything can lead to a breakup, not only over something as important as money.
7. You always shop with him
Another sign that you are dating a man who is not financially stable is if you notice that he spends a lot of money on unnecessary things.
This can include constant dinners, dates at fancy restaurants, or the expensive trip you took last year that he paid for.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s nice to have a boyfriend who will constantly please you and take you out on fancy dinners.
However, if this lifestyle doesn’t correspond with his salary, you might be right in thinking that he is irresponsible with his money.
One thing that can also seriously affect your relationship is if you simply don’t have the same financial compatibility. That’s why it’s important to talk about finances and financial goals at the beginning of your relationship.
8. They have debt
It’s never easy to figure out that your partner is in debt. You probably feel sorry for him and want to help him, especially if you have a good credit score.
However, even after your help and his good salary, you notice that he keeps receiving collection letters or multiple phone calls.
Not only does he ignore all these things, but he keeps spending money on useless stuff. Well...here’s your final sign that he is financially unstable.
If you’re giving him money with the indication that this money is for his debts, and he continues using it for other things…yes, he’s definitely financially unstable.
See also: Everything You Need To Know About Dating A Military Man
How To Protect Yourself From A Financially Unstable Man
Well, now that you know all the signs of financial instability and are aware that you’re dating a man who is not financially stable, it’s time to find out how to protect yourself from such things.
1. Talk about finances
Communication! Communication is always the key to a good relationship. If you spotted one of the 8 signs mentioned above, it’s time to confront your boyfriend and have better communication with him.
It’s best to confront him the moment you start to notice that he’s financially unstable. Otherwise, you’ll develop deep feelings for him, but all the bad things will start to pile up, and you won’t know what hit you.
So, talk to your partner! Talk about financial boundaries! Financial goals! Talk about what things you will pay for together.
Discuss rent, food, and travel. You’ll have a better notion of how much money you can put into the relationship once you’ve worked out the numbers.
Although discussing money is hardly ever romantic, it is crucial when dating a man who is not financially stable.
2. Always have separate accounts
Dating someone who is financially unstable can have a number of disadvantages and risks. Don’t be surprised if you wake up one day and realize that your mutual bank account has run dry.
Don’t be shocked if his excuse is that he suddenly went out with his boys and spent the money on parties and alcohol.
The moral of the story? Have separate accounts!
While having a joint account is common for many couples, I would advise maintaining your own account no matter who the guy is, especially if you’re dating a man who is not financially stable.
It is undeniable that occasionally we date toxic individuals who use us for our money.
He is definitely using you if you are dating a man who is having financial difficulties and is careless with your money. However, it’s also conceivable that your partner is unaware of his behavior and patterns.
He will become conscious of his patterns if you talk to him. He is more likely to begin addressing his money problems and creating a budget.
This leads me to my next observation.
4. Help him in creating a budget
In every relationship, there is one partner who has better skills when it comes to finances. In your relationship, I think it’s obvious who that person is.
One possible way of dealing with your financially unstable boyfriend is to help him create a budget. Try sharing your skills with your boyfriend.
You can support him in sticking to his budget by encouraging him to create one. Your partner will benefit from some instruction from you, and so will your connection.
5. Ask a financial advisor for advice
Everyone has at least one friend who consistently loses money on investments that, although they initially looked great, either fail horribly or offer very little return.
And it becomes both upsetting and frightening if you are dating a man who is having financial difficulties as a result of investing in the wrong prospects.
It will be painful to witness him feeling down again each time he blows his funds. You’ll do everything you can to help him, but it won’t be enough.
The persistent suspicion that your boyfriend is depleting you financially is what can make things scary. Once that fleeting thought crosses your mind, it is really challenging to get rid of it.
Therefore, it can be really helpful to hire a financial advisor to provide some financial planning advice.
Your spouse will be able to create a personalized plan to manage his finances and investments with the aid of a financial advisor who will assist him in calculating his income, assets, taxes, liabilities, and expenditures.
They’ll assist in resolving your partner’s financial issues, and everything will fall into place!
6. Prenuptial agreement
Prenups are not simply for wealthy people to preserve their possessions, despite what the general public believes. The mere mention of the word prenup might cause quite a few people to raise their eyebrows.
Prenuptial agreements are becoming more and more popular among couples with modest means who want to be clear about their financial obligations and rights during marriage.
A prenuptial agreement (prenup) is simply that – a contract that specifies how the money will be handled throughout a marriage.
It may take some time for a man to become financially secure. Prenuptial agreements are the smart choice for you if you don’t want to wait and are excited to start living happily ever after.
In addition to assisting you in safeguarding your assets, it will also prevent you from inheriting a spouse’s debt in the event of death or divorce.
7. Addiction therapy
Addiction is not merely a problem with drugs. He can have a shopping addiction and spend money he doesn’t have or doesn’t need on useless items.
Or maybe a video gaming addiction that makes him too exhausted to work, which frequently results in job loss.
Something that is common for all those addictions is that they cost a fortune! It can be difficult for you to date a man who lacks stability regarding his finances, all because of his addiction.
You should seek counseling in such cases to give him support in overcoming his addiction. Many people have benefited from online counseling, so this is also a great option.
8. Enough is enough
Everybody has their imperfections, and maintaining a relationship requires ongoing, constant effort on all sides.
You are a unique and lovely person if you are waiting for your boyfriend to become financially secure so that you can assist him in his ambitions.
But remember one important life lesson when you’re helping your partner: select and choose which fights to pick because you can’t always win.
Bringing out the best in someone and trying to change them for the better requires a lot of investment – time, energy, and emotions.
However, if he is not interested in saving himself, then there is no amount of effort you can make to convince him that it’s time to change.
It’s time to end the relationship if your boyfriend isn’t interested in resolving his financial problems despite your best efforts.
Is Financial Stability Important In A Relationship?
Financial stability is an important part of every serious relationship. There are many reasons why.
Love is an extraordinary and amazing thing. However, love will not pay the bills. A partner who is financially stable is also a partner who is responsible and aware that emotional attraction isn’t the only thing you should look for in a partner.
Think about it. Food, phone bills, transport, and house maintenance. Clothes. Electricity. Water. These are just the basic things. What about a trip somewhere? A nice dinner once in a while?
Financial stability is important. And no, this doesn’t make you a gold digger. This is just the respect you owe yourself. The bare minimum. You don’t need a partner who’ll be a financial burden to you!
Are There Any Pros Of Dating A Man Who Is Not Financially Stable?
Well…to be completely honest, there are no pros. At least when it comes to the financial stability part. You will soon start to pay your bills. You will become the breadwinner of your household.
He will dry all your accounts, even your savings account. He will constantly borrow a lot of money from you. He will financially drain you to the point where you will start to think he is using you for your money.
What Should You Do If Your Man Is Financially Unstable?
Dating a man who is not financially stable can be a real nightmare. There are different ways to deal with the fact that your boyfriend is financially unstable. Here are some of them:
• Think about whether you’re ready to date someone with this problem – don’t rush into something if you aren’t ready to approach the issue with complete investment.
• Talking honestly about finances will be extremely helpful.
• Put yourself in charge of paying the bills.
• Look for financial assistance and guidance.
• Always have separate accounts.
On A Final Note
Money is the last thing on a person in love’s mind.
However, if you’re mature and wise enough, you’ll know that money plays an enormous role in the quality of your life together and your overall relationship as well.
This doesn’t mean that you have to find a billionaire. It’s okay not being a high earner. However, dating a man who is not financially stable brings a lot of problems into your life.
If your love for him is greater than his problems with finances, try to stick with him and help him overcome those problems.
But also, if you see that there is no help, maybe it’s time to find a new boyfriend!